This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent. They describe a personal, multi-year journey with transition and detransition, including intimate physical details (nerve damage from mastectomy, voice training), psychological introspection, and evolving social experiences (dating on Tinder). The language is natural, with varied sentence structure and personal reflection that is difficult to fake convincingly. The passion and criticism align with known perspectives within the detransitioner community.
About me
I was born female and started testosterone in my late teens, believing it would solve my deep unhappiness. I had top surgery because I hated my breasts, but it left me with permanent nerve damage and no relief from that discomfort. I now see my drive to transition came from untreated anxiety and depression, not from a true male identity. I stopped hormones and have found hope in returning to living as a woman, which feels far more authentic. My biggest regret is the permanent physical change from a choice I wasn't mentally strong enough to question.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was a long and confusing one, and I’m still figuring things out. I was born female, and I started transitioning when I was about 19 or 20 years old. I genuinely believed that taking testosterone and getting surgery would make all my deep-seated issues go away. Looking back, I wasn't mentally strong enough at that time to question it properly, and I pushed for it. The therapists I saw never offered any other alternatives; it felt like the expected route to take once the idea was planted in my mind.
I was on testosterone for about five or six years. The thought of being able to get pregnant always made me feel incredibly disgusted and uncomfortable; the idea of a living being inside of me was just horrifying. I thought that was a sign of gender dysphoria, but now I’m starting to believe it’s something much deeper that I still need to unpack. I also hated my breasts, which led me to get top surgery (a double mastectomy). But I discovered that I was just as uncomfortable being topless after the surgery as I was before. The surgery left me with serious nerve damage; I can barely touch my armpits without feeling a deeply uncomfortable sensation throughout my whole chest, especially near my nipples. Where it doesn't hurt, I have no sensation at all, even three years later. It’s a constant physical reminder.
I think a lot of my drive to transition came from a place of low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. I was so unsure about what exactly felt off in my life that transitioning started to seem like a good alternative. I also think I was influenced online by the common belief that hormone therapy is the ultimate end goal for everyone questioning their gender. There’s a toxic belief that you should want it even if you aren't deeply dysphoric, and it's hard to have open discussions because people are so quick to judge.
Everything changed for me almost overnight. I just started feeling incredibly uncomfortable with being on testosterone and living as a man. I wish I had just lived with my original discomfort instead of starting T, because it has crippled my life in so many ways. If I could go back, I’d tell my younger self to wait and see if there were other things troubling me. Giving it a few years would have been the smartest thing.
Since deciding to detransition, I’ve felt a lot more hopeful. I’ve started trying to feminize my voice again by watching YouTube videos and I’m even looking into a glottoplasty procedure. I joined Tinder as myself, my female self, and it feels so much more right. I get a lot more responses, which is fun, and it just feels authentic in a way that trying to be a man never did.
I don’t really believe the statistic that only 1-2% of trans people detransition. I think that number is probably a lot higher, because many people might want to detransition but feel they’ve gone too far and that it’s no use. I also really dislike the term "trender." While I think a few people might treat being trans like a trend, that term shames people who are genuinely confused and might prevent them from questioning their decision and desisting.
I don’t have all the answers about gender now. I just know that for me, medical transition was a mistake that I deeply regret because of the permanent physical changes and the loss of sensation. I’m trying to move forward and find peace with who I actually am.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19/20 | Started testosterone (HRT) |
| ~25 | Stopped testosterone and began detransition |
| ~22 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy) |
| ~25 | Joined Tinder presenting as female again |
Top Comments by /u/dontwitnessme:
Follow up on this - I also have a hard time believing only 1-2% of trans people actually detransition. It just sounds too incredulous. Especially if you take into account the people who might WANT to detransition, but maybe feel they’ve gone too far so it’s no use
I transitioned because I genuinely thought it would make my issues go away. Despite this I’ve always been very “skeptical” and not really into the whole ‘you’re trans if you ID as trans’-shit.
I can’t really put a finger on what it is that makes me want to detransition now either, but I wish I had desisted. I just wasn’t strong enough mentally at that time, and I think that if I had had access to subs like this I would have.
I really discovered it when I realized I was just as uncomfortable topless after a mastectomy as I was before.
Another thing that really makes me sad I got it is I have so much nerve damage. I ban barely watching my armpits without it feeling so umcomfortable throughout my whole chest and especially towards my nipples. Where it doesn’t hurt, I have no sensation at all, even after 3 years
I feel like we feel very similar things. I’d honestly recommend seeing a therapist that will try to solve these issues without the goal of starting HRT. I wish I’d just lived with my discomfort rather than start taking T because it’s crippled my life in so many ways.
Thank you for your input! That’s very reassuring to hear. I did present as female once after having transitioned and the only thing that happened was that an elderly person asked if I was a guy or a girl.
Has your detransitioning affected dating any?
I understand exactly what you mean! I think it might be because of the common belief that HRT is everyone’s end goal, and the even more toxic belief that you should want it despite not being dysphoric (not saying you aren’t but it’s definitely a thing).
It’s so hard to have these discussions as well since so many are so quick to call names and think that every experience is universal. I really hope you can find peace with your thoughts, I know how annoying it can be!
Kind of? Not really pressured, more like it was the expected route to take. Partly because I pushed for it - no other alternatives were brought up from the therapists part though.
If I could give myself advice back then, I’d say to wait. See if there are other things troubling me. From what you write I think we felt/feel the same way.
It’s like the idea is planted in your mind, and because you’re so unsure about what exactly feels off it starts feeling like a good alternative.
I’ve been on T for about 5-6 years, and from one day to another (kind of) I just started feeling so uncomfortable with this. And this has happened to me before starting T as well.
I’ve also always felt incredibly disgusted by thinking about the ability to be pregnant, and the thought of a living being existing inside of me makes me so uncomfortable. But I’m now starting to think this isn’t even dysphoria in that regard, but something deeper.
So my advice to you - wait. Honestly give it a few years. I started HRT when I was 19/20 and I thought I was grown up and ready to decide, but looking back I really wasn’t
A LOT. I often stop speaking around people, but I honestly saw a video of Miley Cyrus talking this morning on TikTok, and it made me a bit less insecure
(Link for anyone interested in hearing her cool and deep, husky voice: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMeH7Aoma/ )
Yes, I agree so much! This subreddit along with my anti-trans friend helped me realize that transition might not be for a lot of people and definitely shouldn’t be the first option like it practically always is.
I also dislike the idea that a lot of detransitioners are trenders which I know for a fact isn’t true. I also hate the term “trender”, because while I think there are a few people that honestly just think it’s ’cool’ to be trans I fear it makes people not want to desist because they might be called trender
Thanks! I’ve started looking at some YouTube videos that teach voice feminization, and I think I’ll look into my options of glottoplasty as well! I feel much more hopeful today!
And I joined tinder as myself again, and it feels so much more RIGHT. I get so much more response as well, which is fun