This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The narrative is highly specific, emotionally consistent, and describes a complex, painful personal journey with medically relevant details (e.g., conflicting doctor advice, specific physical and mental side effects from HRT and withdrawal). The passion and anger expressed are consistent with someone who has experienced significant harm.
About me
I started transitioning because being a feminine man was so painful, but taking hormones made me miserable instead. The physical changes, especially developing breasts, and the mental turmoil from the medication were devastating. I quit cold turkey and went through a terrifying withdrawal, including the worst panic attack of my life. Now I'm trying to find my way back to living as a man, but I feel very isolated. My biggest regret is that my underlying trauma was never addressed before I was given hormones.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and now detransition has been the most difficult experience of my life. I started because life as a feminine guy felt like hell. I thought becoming a woman would fix the discomfort I felt, but it ended up being debilitating. Living in a role that was never truly me became unbearable over time.
I was on a combination of testosterone blockers and estrogen for about eight months. Even in that short time, it was enough to make me absolutely miserable. I started to feel a strong repulsion towards the changes, especially the chest growth. I never wanted breasts, and now the idea of having them makes me dysphoric in a way I never expected. I also feel the lack of testosterone is affecting me badly.
The medication didn't just change my body; it messed with my mind. I felt like an emotional dumpster fire the entire time. It seemed to take all the things I was already struggling with, including some unprocessed trauma that I now believe led me to think I was trans, and made them a million times worse. The final straw was when my doctor switched me from pills to a patch form of estrogen. After just five days on the new type, I fell into a severe depression and had terrifying anxiety attacks. I knew I had to stop.
Quitting the hormones cold turkey was really rough on my body and mind. I had headaches, felt disoriented and nauseous, and my mood was all over the place. I couldn't handle anything. The scariest moment was about three weeks after I quit. I was hit with a massive wave of self-doubt that spiralled into the worst panic attack of my life. I was rocking back and forth, hyperventilating, mumbling, and trying to scream for help. It was a truly terrifying hour that I'll never forget.
Dealing with the medical system has been confusing and frustrating. When I told my doctor I was repulsed by the HRT, she first told me to stop completely. But later, she said I should take a microdose of estrogen to avoid having no hormones in my system until my natural testosterone comes back. The conflicting advice left me feeling unsupported. I decided not to take any more estrogen because I don't want it in my body.
Now, I'm trying to find my way back to living as a man. I feel stuck and worried about the future, but anything is better than the last few years. I hope I can process the trauma I've been through. One of the hardest parts of this detransition is the loneliness. When I was identifying as trans, there were so many support groups that welcomed me. But now that I'm detransitioning and struggling with my identity again, I don't feel welcome in those same spaces. It makes me sad that I'm seen differently now that I'm trying to regain my male identity. I don't blame the trans community—I have dear memories with them—but it's isolating.
I believe that while trans lives matter and deserve protection, detransitioners like me need to be acknowledged too. We are real people who have suffered, and we shouldn't be made to feel ashamed for our regrets. We were enabled by a medical system that wasn't prepared to prevent what happened to us or help us now. I never wanted to end up like this, and my heart hurts for all the other detransitioners out there. It doesn't matter how many of us there are; what matters is that we are here and our stories need to be heard to prevent more casualties.
Looking back, I see that my desire to transition was linked to deeper issues like trauma and a dislike of the expectations placed on me as a feminine man. I have significant regrets about taking hormones. The physical changes, especially the breast growth, and the mental turmoil have caused me lasting harm. I don't think HRT is something to be taken lightly; it's a complex package with serious side effects.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| (Age not specified) | Life as a feminine man felt "like hell," leading to the decision to transition. |
| (Age not specified) | Started taking testosterone blockers and estrogen. |
| 8 months on HRT | Developed strong repulsion towards HRT effects, including chest growth. Felt miserable and emotionally unstable. |
| 8 months, 1 week on HRT | Switched from sublingual to transdermal estrogen. |
| 8 months, 1 week + 5 days | Severe depression and anxiety attacks began after the switch. |
| (Approx. 8.5 months) | Quit testosterone blockers and estrogen cold turkey. |
| 3 weeks after quitting | Experienced the worst panic attack of my life, with rocking, hyperventilating, and incoherent mumbling. |
| Present | Detransitioning, dealing with withdrawal symptoms and confusion from doctors, trying to process trauma and find my place as a man again. |
Top Comments by /u/dysphoric_leaf:
I honestly feel that between the trans lives matters campaigns (which I do agree with, they do receive a lot of uncalled for hurt from the outside) we should also consider the lives of detrans people, rather than being made to feel ashamed to even admit our regrets and feelings and identity. We're real people with real feelings who have suffered unreasonably, enabled by a medical profession that is systematically unprepared, perhaps unqualified, to prevent what happened to us, or in many cases, even provide post-treatment care for our detransitioning needs.
I never wanted to end up like I did, none of us did. But it hurts, it really really hurts. And my heart hurts for all my other detrans brothers and sisters too, especially those who are tragically no longer with us to tell us their stories. I don't want any more casualties. It would be only fair to at least acknowledge us and hear us out, rather than demonize us.
It doesn't matter how many of us are out there. What matters is that we ARE out there.
It's just that, when you're trans and really struggling with your identity, a dime a dozen support groups warmly welcome you and give you guidance. But when you're detransitioning and really struggling with your identity, it doesn't feel like you're so welcome in those same groups. I don't hold anything against the trans comminuty, and I hold dear the memories I've made with them. It just makes me sad that I'm seen in a different light when trying to regain my male identity again.
When I consulted online with my doctor overseeing my HRT, I complained of having developed a strong feeling of repulsion towards my HRT and the things it did to me (I'm actually dysphoric now from lack of testosterone and from the chest growth I really don't want anymore), so she told me to drop it entirely, but at a later in-person meeting she told me to continue taking microdosed E so as to not leave my body without hormones until my T comes back (which I won't, I really don't want any more estrogen in my system than there already is), so I got conflicting information I guess.
Sidenote, having also dropped T-blockers+E cold turkey I'm also having it rough, I have headaches come and go, feel VERY disoriented and sometimes nauseous, and feel like I don't have the mental capacity to handle anything as my mood is thrown about all over the place.
I so fully agree with this. I had only been on T-blockers+estrogen for just about 8 months, but even that much was enough to leave me absolutely miserable. There are many ways to look aesthetically feminine and youthful, from cosmetics to various augmentations, but taking HRT medication is very much a complex package with many possible inadvertent side effects that I truly wouldn't wish on anyone, unless they are fully prepared for a full female transition.
I was switched from sublingual to transdermal estrogen one week before I quit -- I was already feeling increasingly uncomfortable with what I was becoming, but the new form of estrogen, after only 5 days, put me into severe depression with scary anxiety attacks. But my worst and scariest panic attack was actually 3 weeks after quitting estrogen cold turkey, that night I had a massive wave of self-doubt washing over me which spiralled into a panic attack so bad I was rocking, hyperventilating and mumbling incoherently, trying to scream for help. It was the scariest hour or so of my entire life yet.
But throughout my life on estrogen I felt like I was an emotional dumpster fire, I feel like estrogen took everything I was already struggling with -- including my internalized unprocessed trauma which made me mistakenly believe I was trans in the first place -- and magnified it by a million.
I currently feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, worried of where I may end up yet but honestly anything would be better than the last few years on transition. It's just that life as a feminine guy was absolute hell, but life in the role of a woman that I've never really been was outright debilitating especially as time went on.
I hope I'll eventually be able to process the trauma I've been through and find my place in the life of a man again.