This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
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Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The comments demonstrate:
- A consistent, nuanced, and personal narrative of detransition and reidentification as female.
- Specific, lived-experience details (e.g., effects of binding, experiences with birth control, therapy).
- A passionate but reasoned tone that aligns with the expected perspective of a detransitioned woman.
- No contradictions or generic language that would indicate a fabricated persona.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort with my body became intense after puberty, leading me to transition socially and medically. Binding my chest created a cycle of dependence that made my dysphoria worse, and my attempt to use hormones, including a terrible reaction to birth control, took a real physical toll. I realized a lot of my struggle was rooted in internalized misogyny that I had avoided confronting. I stopped hormones and binding, and I've now been living as a woman again for almost four years. I'm finally finding a sense of peace by accepting that I can be female without conforming to a feminine stereotype.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. I was born female and for a long time, I felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially during and after puberty. I hated my breasts and felt like my body was mismatched and wrong. I would look in the mirror and sometimes think I looked good, but also too soft and feminine. I had fantasies about just clawing off the parts that felt like they shouldn't be there.
I started my transition socially first. I began using an androgynous nickname based on my given name for a little while. Binding my chest was a huge part of my life, but it had a really negative effect that I don't see talked about enough. Before I started binding, my relationship with my chest was bad but I could manage it by just wearing baggy clothes. After I started, I got so used to seeing a flat chest that going out without a binder became unthinkable. I'd wear it for 12+ hours a day because I couldn't let anyone see me without it. Taking it off made me feel worse than ever; it created a cycle that was incredibly hard to break.
I took hormones for a while, but I also tried using birth control, specifically depo, and it was a terrible experience. It was originally made for short-term use in specific situations, and long-term it can cause serious health problems like bone density loss. For me, it made me feel awful, it feminized my body in ways I didn't want, and when I stopped taking it, my hormones went completely out of whack and I bled continuously for eight months. I also have endometriosis and PCOS, so finding the right medical treatment has always been a struggle.
A big part of my experience was realizing that I had a lot of internalized misogyny to unpack. I think if you're raised female in this world, you can't avoid absorbing some of that. My transition actually prevented me from doing that important work. I was so focused on changing my body to fit an ideal that I didn't stop to question where these feelings were really coming from.
I eventually detransitioned. I stopped taking hormones and I no longer bind my chest. I go by my full given name now. I would have kept the name I used while transitioning if it had sounded even a little neutral, but it didn't, so I changed back. Accepting myself as female again didn't mean I had to become super feminine. A lot of the detransitioned women I know don't shave and still wear masculine clothes. I get mistaken for a guy regularly, but that doesn't mean I am one or that I have to identify as one.
I do have some regrets about transitioning, especially the physical toll it took on my body and the way it delayed me from dealing with my underlying issues. I'm now over five years into my detransition and close to four years into reidentifying as a woman. I feel more at peace now, even if it's a different kind of peace than I expected.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 17 | Started socially transitioning, began using an androgynous nickname. |
| 18 | Began binding my chest regularly. |
| 19 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 20 | Tried depo-provera; had a severe negative reaction. |
| 21 | Stopped taking all hormones. Began the process of detransition. |
| 22 | Stopped binding and officially reidentified as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/e-cryptid:
I'm a detransitioned woman but I think a lot of the time I get called 'he' it's because people assume I'm trans and are trying to be considerate rather than because they actually think I'm male. The same sort of thing could be going on with you if you don't think you really look female.
Again, OP is 18 but also where are these psychologists who treat dysphoria supposed to be? People who haven't transitioned love to act like it's as simple a fix as getting therapy but the kind of therapy they're imagining doesn't exist. By and large therapists either affirm trans identity or practice conversion therapy. My parents did just what you're suggesting but, to their surprise, my therapist only confirmed that I was trans and needed HRT and surgery.
Also, can you see how insulting it is to refer to our bodies and minds as "ruined" as if we're disgusting and beyond repair? Do you think that helps? Do you think that's what we need to hear?
Honestly if you are a person who was raised female in the world you DO have internalized misogyny. It's not possible to undergo female socialization and not absorb any of it. Whether that's causing part or all of your gender dysphoria, I can't say. It's worth unpacking either way, though. I think one of the most damaging things about my transition was that it prevented me from doing that work which is not something you should let happen to you.
Just want to give a counter perspective here because I would NOT recommend depo. It was originally developed for domestic violence situations for those with a male partner who sabotaged traditional birth control and was only meant for use in the short term. In the long term it can have serious health effects including bone density loss. I took it and it made me feel awful, feminized me in ways I didn't want and when I discontinued it it threw my hormones so out of whack that I bled continuously for eight months.
I have both endometriosis and PCOS and I don't see any ableism here. No one's attacking your decision to use birth control to treat your health condition. They're just questioning your suggestion that a woman who never indicated having any health condition ought to take it. Besides, pointing out problems with birth control only suggests that you and I deserve better treatment options, which we do! I don't know about you but birth control certainly doesn't leave me pain- and side effect-free.
Accepting yourself as female doesn't necessarily have to mean looking feminine or removing all of your body hair! A lot of the detransitioned and reidentified women I know don't shave their bodies and still wear masculine clothing. I get mistaken for a guy on a regular basis but that doesn't mean that I am one or that I have to identify myself as one.
If you've been breaking down all the time and are looking for something to kickstart you out of that I would say it'll probably do more harm than good. If you've been feeling pretty okay, are making good progress in recovery and are really ready to process difficult things but need something to help you over a bit of a wall then it can work wonders.
You should do a SurveyMonkey survey! You'll probably get more responses using it because it's anonymized and it's easier because it compiles all your responses for you. I'd love to see the results of something like that. I remember seeing a study summarized that concluded there's barely any of us after asking CURRENT patients of a gender clinic if they'd detransitioned 😒 So it'd be nice to have something that lays out how likely we actually are to stay at the places where we got gender treatment and inform practitioners of our detransitions.
An effect of binding I rarely see discussed but basically everyone who I've talked to who bound has said they also experienced is a worsening of dysphoria. Before I started binding my relationship with my chest wasn't good but I could tolerate just wearing baggy clothes and lots of jackets. After I started binding I got so used to seeing a flat chest and not having to reckon with the reality of my body that going out without one on was unthinkable. I'd regularly wear one for 12+ hours a day because I couldn't let anyone see me without it on and I felt worse than ever when I did have to take it off. Breaking that cycle when the other negative effects of binding got so bad that I had to was hard as hell.
I think different trans and detrans people both are going to have different answers to this question but I can answer for me personally. I grew up feeling ugly but at the time right before I started transitioning I didn't really feel ugly. I just felt mismatched and wrong and so, so tired. I fantasized about just zipping and clawing off the parts of my body that felt like they shouldn't be there while still frequently feeling like I looked good, though too soft and feminine, in the mirror.
And there were definitely days I wished I could just be happy as a girl. There were more days when I wished I could have just been born a boy. I don't know that there were any days where I really thought, "this is good" until I actually started transitioning. Then, for a while at least, I was much happier about being trans identified. I'm now over five years detrans and close to four years reidentified.