This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's perspective is internally consistent, detailed, and reflects a nuanced, personal viewpoint common to many in the detrans and critical trans communities. The account describes a specific personal history (late transition, failed marriage, internalized transphobia) and expresses a consistent, passionate opinion on trans healthcare that aligns with a genuine detransitioner/desister ally. The language is natural and complex, not scripted or bot-like.
About me
I'm a woman who was born male, and I didn't realize I was trans until I was 29 after trying for years to suppress my severe dysphoria by living as a man and even getting married. For me, transitioning was a necessary last resort that finally made me feel aligned with myself. I'm now deeply worried that it's being treated as a first option for young people with other issues, and I believe the current medical approach is dangerously quick. I also found the online trans community to be toxic and alienating, full of people I couldn't relate to. While I don't regret my own transition, I'm frightened for those who are rushed into it and the way it has become a social trend.
My detransition story
Looking back at my whole journey, it's strange to see how everything unfolded. I'm a woman who was born male, and I didn't figure out I was trans until I was 29 years old. Before that, I had zero exposure to anything LGBT. I didn't have any trans friends, I wasn't on social media talking about it, and I'd never even heard of non-binary. I actually thought society still saw trans people as freaks, and I had a lot of that internalized transphobia myself.
For over a decade, I tried everything I could to run away from these feelings. I was convinced I had to be a cisgender, heterosexual man. I even got married, thinking that would finally make the dysphoria go away. It didn't. I finally had a kind of mental breakdown and realized I couldn't keep pretending. I started seeing a gender therapist, which ended my marriage, and began to accept myself as a woman. Starting hormone therapy and socially transitioning was like a weight lifting. I finally felt aligned with myself.
But my experience seems really different from a lot of what I see now. I had no mental health issues or trauma. My dysphoria was just something that was always there, and for me, transitioning wasn't a choice I wanted to make; it was a last resort because the dysphoria was so severe. I don't feel like being trans is cool or an identity to adopt. It's just something I have to live with.
When I finally learned about the trans community, I was shocked. I saw that for a lot of young people, especially girls, transition is being treated as the first solution to problems like trauma, mental health issues, or just not fitting in. I think the current "affirmative" model of care, where doctors are afraid to ask tough questions, is dangerous. It feels like hormones and surgery are handed out like candy. I believe we need much stronger mental health evaluations first. Transition should be a last resort, not the first option. Tackling your underlying issues is harder, but it's the better first step.
I also got frustrated trying to be part of the trans community online. I found it really toxic and alienating, full of activists I couldn't relate to. A lot of the trans women I saw seemed socially maladaptive, with very narrow, intense interests. It was hard to find people who felt "normal."
I don't regret my transition because for me, it was necessary. But I feel for the people who were rushed into it and later realized it wasn't right for them. The whole situation is frightening. It's scary to see how quickly things have changed. Just ten years ago, being trans in school was unheard of. Now, it feels like a social trend, and that worries me deeply.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Before 29 | Lived as a male, tried to suppress dysphoria, got married. |
| 29 | Had a mental breakdown, started seeing a gender therapist, accepted I was a trans woman, began social transition and hormone therapy (HRT). My marriage ended as a result. |
| 30 | Reflecting on my transition and becoming aware of the detransition phenomenon. |
Top Comments by /u/ecbluejay:
Transitioning should be viewed as a "last resort" type of treatment. In the current affirmative model it seems to be handed out like candy to young patients as the first and best option. Tackling mental health issues and social determinants of health is the hard route but the best first route.
Excellent post! All of this is fascinating to me because I had no idea how toxic the LGBT community is with transgender and that it was "cool" to be trans. I was 29 when I realized I was trans. Had literally zero exposure to LGBT social circles or social media. I did not even know Non-binary was a thing. Actually the whole concept completely flabbergasted me at first. I had also assumed trans people were still vilified by society as freaks. So I had a lot of internalized transphobia. I tried so desperately hard to be cis het male for so long. Then I had a mental breakdown and realized that I was likely neither. Then I saw an expert gender therapist who helped me. Now I'm a trans woman and couldn't be happier. But I've tried to be a part of the trans community and found it incredibly frusterating and miserable with the activists. Frankly, I feel alienated by them.
Also, I don't know if you youngsters realize but even just 10 years ago being trans in school was literally unheard of. Being gay was even rare and highly stigmatized. "egg culture" didn't exist. The culture shift has gone a complete 180 and it boggles my mind.
Great post! As a 30 year old transwoman in early transition I find the epidemiology of gender dyshporia and the phenomena of the exponential rise of FTM transitioners and subsequent detransitioners very interesting and also frightening. I think all of your points about FTM's are spot on. I fee like today, a lot of young people think that transition will "fix" their problems (trauma, mental health, misogny, etc.) and they see it as a good option to escape them. And in the affirmitive trans care model a bunch of "yes men" providers who don't want to be labeled a transphobe or politically incorrect, so they just usher these young people through transition will nilly, and this is truly scary.
The gate keeping of the 00s and earlier was not great trans care but I don't think the super affirmitive model currently is much better (and could be worse frankly). The informed consent model that has recently developed is not the best trans health care IMO. I think we need much more significant mental/social health evaluations before people start HRT and get surgeries (basically WPATH). And frankly some mild degree of gatekeeping is not a bad idea for the sub 21 age group. It takes enormous decision making capacity to understand the risks and benefits of transitioning, and frankly I don't think most young people have that capacity. I know I would not have at that age!
Well put. Anecdotally, it seems about half the trans women on trans twitter have exceptionally strong interests in anime, video games, cats, etc. many of them seem like they would not function well socially outside of their home.
Frankly finding “normalish” non socially maladaptive trans women is kind of difficult!
One other thing that seems to be completly looked over by the younger generation. Before 2010 (not that long ago!), the epidimiological estimates of transsexuality in natal boys was about 1 in10,000 and natal females 1 in 30,000. There are multiple studies out there with different numbers, but these are pretty good estimates.
With that said. If you are truly a transsexual, and you have a friend who comes out as trans too, assuming both are natal girls the chances of that occuring are infintesimmaly LOW. Basically what I am trying to say is that if you are trans, and all of a sudden someone else you know comes out as trans. ONE OF YOU IS NOT TRANS
being on HRT for two days won't do anything to your body permanently (or even temporarily for that matter). If you stay on HRT for another 2-3 months or longer, then yes permanent sterility is possible. Did your physician not explain this as a risk before starting HRT? You are playing with fire. HRT is no joke.
So much this! One thing that I also find true about a lot transsexuals similar to myself is that we don't really want to be trans. But our dysphoria is severe we can't help ourselves. Being trans isn't about finding an identity group or being cool or trendy or politically active for us.
For me personally, I tried running away from my transsexuality for over a decade. I tried so hard to live as a man, even got married thinking it would make dysphoria go away. I have no mental health issues or trauma of any kind. Eventually, I came to self accept myself as woman last fall and finally started seeing a gender therapist (oh yeah this ended my marriage). Now I'm on HRT, transitioniong, and never felt so aligned with my inner sense of self. When I started learning about the trans community I had no idea all of this was happening. I hadn't even heard of the term non-binary before. But now that I've learned about it I want to be a part of the solution and help my detrans brothers and sisters out because it is clear our current trans care model is not working the way it should be.
transgender is an umbrella term that is inclusive to literally anyone that is gender non-conforming in some way. A transsexual is part of the "transgender umbrella" but is someone with gender dysphoria who transitions medically (with HRT and/or surgeries), socially, and legally. So you can be transgender, and not transsexual. But if you are transsexual you are by definition transgender as well.