This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a consistent, long-term personal narrative (from 2021 to 2024) with specific, emotionally resonant details about the user's experience with testosterone, detransition, and the ongoing process of self-acceptance. The language is nuanced, self-reflective, and evolves over time, which is typical of a genuine person processing a complex experience. The passion and criticism expressed are consistent with the genuine anger and harm that many detransitioners feel.
About me
I started identifying as non-binary at 15, thinking it was the solution to my depression and body issues. I began testosterone at 21, but the process felt rushed and left me with a permanently deeper voice that I now struggle with. When I decided to detransition at 22, I felt immediate relief from the heavy obsession with my gender. I realized my discomfort wasn't about being male or female, but came from deeper self-esteem issues. Now, I'm learning to accept myself as a woman and live without those heavy labels.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated, and looking back, I see how many of my struggles were mixed up together. I started identifying as non-binary when I was about 15, and it felt like a solution to a lot of my problems at the time. I had a lot of depression and anxiety, and I hated my body, especially during puberty. I think I was looking for a way to escape from feeling like myself, and the idea of gender became a huge obsession. I was also heavily influenced by what I saw online and by friends who were exploring similar identities.
When I was 21, I decided to start testosterone. I got my prescription from a Planned Parenthood, and the whole process felt way too fast. They asked me about my mental health history—like depression, suicidal thoughts, and family issues—and I was very honest that I had struggled with all of it. I was shocked that after less than an hour of talking, they gave me the prescription. They didn't even do any bloodwork first. They didn't show me how to do the injections; they just gave me a link to a video. I did my first shot at home and ended up doing it wrong for months. Once, I got a huge, hard lump in my leg the size of a baby's fist because I pulled the needle out too fast. It was scary and painful, and I felt completely unprepared.
I was only on testosterone for about six months, and I missed a lot of doses. But my voice dropped almost instantly, within the first month or two. It’s the only permanent change that stuck with me after I stopped, and it’s been a source of a lot of pain. I always hated my voice before, thinking it was awkward, and now it’s just a deeper version of that same awkwardness. It’s risen in pitch a little since I stopped T almost three years ago, but it’s still deeper than it was, and I have a limited range. I get hoarse quickly if I try to sing. I’ve thought about voice training, but it’s something I’m still trying to come to terms with.
Stopping testosterone was the beginning of a major shift for me. I started detransitioning at 22, and the moment I made that decision, it felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was terrified of telling people I’d made a mistake, but the relief was immediate. I realized that my fixation on gender was a form of escapism. I had been so focused on finding a perfect name, a perfect appearance, and how people perceived me, that I was making myself miserable. Letting go of that constant nitpicking—worrying if I looked masculine or feminine enough—brought me a lot of peace. I came to see that the idea of gender is largely made up and that my obsession with it was meaningless in the long run.
I don’t regret my transition because it led me to where I am now, but I see it as a decade of unnecessary stress that made my life harder. I benefited from realizing that my discomfort wasn't really about gender but about deeper issues like low self-esteem and a difficulty accepting myself. I’ve also had a major shift in my spirituality since detransitioning, which has been a positive force in my life.
As for my name, I’m planning to change it legally to a female name I’ve always liked. I never liked my birth name, and my fiancé’s name is almost the same, which would be weird. But I’m trying not to put so much pressure on it being perfect. People grow into their names; they don’t have to be a perfect representation of who you are.
Now, I’m just trying to live my life without those heavy labels. I’m an artist, and it’s been lonely sometimes because so many female artists I see now identify as non-binary. It feels like there’s a shame around being a woman, and I fell into that trap too. On the other side of it, I’m learning to accept myself as a woman, and that has been the most freeing part of all.
Here is a timeline of the major events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15 | Started identifying as non-binary. |
| 21 | Started testosterone therapy. |
| 21 | Stopped testosterone after approximately 6 months. |
| 22 | Began social detransition. |
| 24 (Present) | Living as a detransitioned female, planning a legal name change. |
Top Comments by /u/ecogalactic:
To me (started detransitioning at 22, and started around age 15) feeling so mortified just thinking about explaining to people that I made a mistake, was going back etc. nearly paralyzed me into indecision before ultimately starting to detransition. The moment I made that decision it literally felt like the entire world was lifted off my shoulders. Ultimately, it feels like you've dug a hole so deep in the ground that it would be too much to turn around now, but that's not true at all. Better to put down the shovel now when you know better than to keep on in the wrong direction. As for your specific situation, I know it doesn't feel like it now but you are at one of the most mutable ages where no one is expecting (or should be) concrete decisions or life changes. You're meant to explore what it means to be a person and your own identity as a teenager and young adult (something I'm very much still doing to this day, nearly a decade later btw) so do not burden yourself with worries about saving face. Time will soften the blow and embarrassment is an internal mental torture. You don't have to hold onto that and instead give yourself the space and personal forgiveness to realize you moved on from a dead end path for yourself and be happy that you've learned something new about yourself in doing so. This is more advice I would given myself if I could go back and talk to my own self at the same age, so take what makes sense to you and just give yourself grace and peace. Not to sound like a cheese ball but it really does get better.
This really resonates with me, I was only on T for six months (with a lot of skipped or missed doses) but my voice seemed to drop almost instantly, within 1-2 months was vastly deeper. I always thought my voice was sort of awkward before, and seriously hated it, but I've realized since that my voice is still the same, just much deeper.
It's the only part of my physical transition that really has stuck with me and hurts so badly still. I do think my voice isn't as deep now as it was when I stopped T, almost a year ago now, but it's painful to hear and think about too much still. I don't really have a solution here, I'm trying to find balance and come to terms with the reality of this and accept my voice, but I can't stop thinking about trying try voice training....idk.
Kind of a situation where I hate to hear that people are experiencing pains like this but also where I'm glad I'm not alone going through this.
I'm an artist as well :-) just in my own time as a hobby since I was a kid but I'm trying to map out how I can make it my career in adulthood now. :P but yes, I very much feel that loneliness too. It's sad to me especially because there have typically been so many gnc/gay women in artistic spaces but it feels like every gnc female artist I see these days is "nb". there's a heavy shame in the air with how common the themes of feminism, bodily autonomy/abortion rights etc are in art yet it's as if so many women are hiding from accepting themselves as in fact women with the current gender craze. I definitely fell into the same trap while transitioning but on the other side of that I feel very alone lol.
Very happy for you and your journey getting to this point 💟 and I definitely relate. I could summarize identifying as nonbinary as being completely unnecessary & unchanging to my actual personhood in the long run; just a really awesome stressful decade of making my life much, much harder than it needed to be. Woohoo 🏁
Wow! That's incredible, I'm shocked by different you sound. Do you have any resources or recommendations for how you acheived your voice training? I have YouTube videos saved from links on this sub but I've been putting it off with mixed feelings tbh. Your voice sounds amazing though
Edit: meant to post this as a reply to icircumventpermabans comment below :p
I agree, I would say I would rarely describe my feelings regarding anything as euphoric. As far as while detransitioning, it's been almost 2 years for me but early on I decided to drop the neurotic nitpicking about gender (like how I'm dressed/hair styles/body language/if I look overall "masc or fem"/what people would assume me to be etc.) And instead try to just accept my situation as it is. The idea of gender became an obsession for me but it's all made up self perceptions and ultimately meaningless imo. Coming to this conclusion is what brought me a great deal of peace
Even if you don't wear any kind of makeup whatsoever, simply neatening your eyebrows (whether plucking/trimming or even just brushing them through with an eyebrow brush) does wonders. I found it surprisingly had a huge impact on my face that I never noticed and made me feel a lot less self conscious when I first started detransitioning. That plus earrings for sure! I've had a lot of fun branching out to making my own with all sorts of funky charms I find, they're very easy to make if you wanted to.
I loved reading this, and I'm so happy for you. 💜 I had many similarities in detransitioning and realizing what I was denying/afraid of in terms of feminine energy. (Hate how much that's becoming commodified lately in a totally secular way because I think it's a very deep and meaningful cornerstone of the world but I digress). That's awesome to hear of the progress you're making, and feels very inspiring to do the same. After a major shift in spirituality when I finally detransitioned (over 3 yrs ago now) I slowly fell out of habit after a cross country move and giving away most of my crystals, etc. Maybe this is a sign to pick up one of my tarot decks again 🙂 I wish you all the best on your journey! 🦋
I think your voice sounds really nice! Ngl this definitely makes me feel better about my own voice. I wasn't on T very long (~ 6 months) but my voice dropped way faster than most and it's the only change that really stuck around after. I've been off t for almost 2 years now and my voice has risen a lot in pitch but still sounds deeper than before, & I feel like I have very limited range (ex. trying to sing along to things I get very hoarse and scratchy very quickly). I'm trying not to feel self conscious about it though and hearing other detrans experiences hugely helps. Thank you for sharing 💜
I was prescribed T from a Planned Parenthood for all six months of my time on hormones. I can't remember if they took blood the day it was prescribed, or if it was another later appointment altogether, but I didn't have any bloodwork yet completed at the time of my prescription.
They also never demonstrated a shot or any related care? I did my own first shot at home, same as every one after, they just gave me a URL for a how to video on self dosage, not sure if that's necessarily odd but it sucked for me. Apparently I was doing my shots wrong for the first 2-3 months to the point that for two weeks after a specific dosage I had a huge (like a baby's fist sized) stone-hard lump under the skin of my leg because I'd pulled out the needle too quickly or something, which was not something mentioned at the clinic or anywhere else and hurt like hell. Definitely freaked me TF out :-/
Anyways the biggest beef for me was their painfully lacking "psych eval" type few questions less than an hour before slapping the prescription into my hands. Questions that I definitely answered the "wrong" aka of greater concern answers to like: do you have a history of mental illness? Suicidal thoughts/actions? Family abuse? Drug or alcohol abuse? (These questions are not verbatim obviously but my answers were all major yes's) so I just don't understand how my demonstration of a complete lack of mental stability kept me an eligible candidate.
Oh and last but not least, I had disclosed to my doctor/PA/nurse/?? that I'd had unprotected sex less than two weeks prior to this appointment where I was at the time still not sure if I was pregnant or not. There was no required pregnancy test, or any other form of clarification first??? (Like if I had to wait a certain amount of time to see if I'd missed a period at least, or anything at all) Which is the scariest fucking part to me by far. It's still shocking to me.... Like ??? How was that checked off as ok