This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments demonstrate:
- Specific, nuanced advice (e.g., mentioning a "dexa scan" for bone health).
- Consistent, empathetic engagement with complex emotional and psychological struggles.
- A coherent personal philosophy about identity, growth, and the dangers of rigid labeling.
The tone is passionate and critical of certain aspects of transition ideology, which is consistent with the stated experiences of genuine detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I started transitioning because I was deeply unhappy and uncomfortable with my female body, especially during puberty. I thought hormones and surgery would fix my low self-esteem and let me escape my struggles with being a lesbian. After years on testosterone and having top surgery, I faced serious health issues and realized it didn't solve my deeper problems. Through challenging therapy, I understood I was running from internalized homophobia and trauma, not living as a male. Now, I'm focusing on my health and building a life without labels, having learned that my true issues needed psychological healing, not a medical solution.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started from a place of deep unhappiness and confusion. I was really uncomfortable with my body when I hit puberty, especially with developing breasts. I hated them and just wanted them gone. I also struggled a lot with depression and anxiety, and I had very low self-esteem. I think a lot of this was tied to internalized homophobia; I’m a lesbian, and back then, I had a hard time accepting that. I saw being trans as a way to be in a gay relationship but have it look straight from the outside, which felt safer and more acceptable to me at the time.
I spent a huge amount of time online, and I was definitely influenced by what I saw in trans communities and by friends who were also exploring their gender. It felt like an escape from all my other problems. I started identifying as non-binary first, and that eventually led me to taking testosterone. I was on T for a few years. I also got top surgery, which I thought was the solution to all my problems with my body.
But it wasn’t. While having a flat chest felt good for a little while, it didn’t fix the deeper issues. I started having serious health complications, and my doctor was worried I might have developed osteoporosis from the hormones. I had to get a special bone scan. Coming off testosterone was really hard on my body. I’m also now infertile, which is something I have to live with.
The turning point for me was when I finally started a different kind of therapy. It wasn't affirming—it actually challenged my thinking. My therapist helped me see that I was using transition as a way to run from my problems with self-esteem, my sexuality, and past trauma. I had to be completely honest with her, which was hard because I had a habit of lying to therapists to get the answers I wanted to hear. She made me confront the unhealthy beliefs I had about myself.
I don’t regret my transition entirely because it led me to where I am now, and I learned a lot about myself through the process. But I do have regrets about the permanent changes, especially the health problems and the infertility. I see now that my discomfort was more about body dysmorphia and a rejection of my female body because of internalized homophobia, not because I was truly male.
Now, I’m just me. I don’t really use any labels. I’m trying to focus on being healthy and building a life I don’t feel the need to escape from. My thoughts on gender are that it’s incredibly complex, and for some people, like me, medical transition can be a drastic solution to problems that need to be worked through psychologically first.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and my developing breasts. |
| 16 | Came out as non-binary, influenced heavily by online communities and friends. |
| 18 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone due to emerging health concerns, including potential bone density loss (osteoporosis). Began detransition. |
| 24 | Started non-affirming therapy to address root causes of my distress, including internalized homophobia and trauma. |
Top Comments by /u/eggrolljunior:
I don’t think taking a powerful drug for the sake of an “aesthetic” is necessarily the wisest decision, but go nuts, that’s your choice.
I also don’t think you need to define yourself with a term either (fem boy) and might find some happiness and freedom in being less concerned with labels and the approval of others.
You didn't "waste" your teenage years, it's hard to understand this now since you're in the thick of it, but adolescence is a period of time that is largely about figuring yourself out and eventually evolving into the person you want to be. Most people don't decide in their early teens who they are over night and then stick to that. Unfortunately transition has young people perceiving identity as a hat on a shelf that they just choose, put on, and get on with it. That's not how life works, you're going to be a vastly different person in as little as a year from now.
That's kind of the exciting thing about life, "mistakes" will often craft huge parts of who we are later. If we learn and grow because of them they aren't really a "mistake" in the end, just a part of life that leads us to where we want to be. It's when people close themselves off to growth and learning that they stagnate.
It sounds like you might be grappling with some internalized homophobia. Do you perceive transness as a way of getting to act on your gay attraction while also adhering to the idea that “a man should be with a woman”?
Out of curiosity, what’s your age and are you religious?
You hold some unhealthy and troubling personal beliefs (beyond transness) about yourself that aren't going to serve you.
Lying to a therapist isn't going to get you the answers or the life you're looking for. I think finding a new therapist and being completely transparent and honest with them would probably help you out dramatically. You need someone in your life who is going to challenge the conclusions you are jumping to in your mind.
"but I know I’ll kill myself if I attempt that."
Why are you so convinced you would kill yourself? You sound pretty strong to me. It sounds like you've tried a few things before, realized they didn't work and then course adjusted.
You didn't kill yourself after you realized Xir/Xirs wasn't working. You didn't kill yourself after you decided you weren't just a cross dresser. You're 18, this is literally the time when people are figuring themselves out.
Conversion therapy isn't an "option" for anyone, because that is not something designed to help you in any sort of way. Are you in therapy? Do you discuss your internal beliefs with anyone in your offline life or allow others to challenge them?
Could potentially be osteoporosis. There’s a test called a dexa scan that could determine if that’s the case. Sex hormones are powerful stuff and have a pretty big impact on bone health and you’re only a few months off of them. I’d talk to your doctor.