This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account does not show clear red flags of being inauthentic.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex internal struggle that is characteristic of genuine detransitioners or desisters. Key points include:
- Personal Narrative: The user shares specific, personal details about their body image (ribcage, waist), social experiences (being treated as a "pretty white girl" vs. a "faggy weak boy"), and medical history (halting puberty).
- Internal Conflict: They express genuine uncertainty and questioning ("I'm on the fence," "I honestly don't know, and can't decide how I feel"), which evolves over time.
- Complex Reasoning: The comments engage with controversial concepts like autogynephilia in a measured way, acknowledging different perspectives, which suggests real intellectual engagement rather than scripted talking points.
The passion and criticism of transgender ideology align with the warning that detransitioners can be angry about the harm they've experienced, and does not in itself indicate inauthenticity. The account appears to be a real person grappling with their detransition.
About me
I was a feminine boy who found it easier to let people mistake me for a girl than to correct them. I transitioned because I was treated much better as a woman than I was as a feminine male, and I wanted to escape homophobia. Even though I pass convincingly, I never found the happiness I was looking for and developed an obsessive hatred for my body. I'm now considering detransitioning, but I'm scared of the physical changes and the social embarrassment of being seen as male again. I'm trying to accept that it's okay to just be a feminine man.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been confusing, and looking back, I see a lot of things more clearly now. I was born male, but I was always a feminine boy. Even before I knew what being transgender was, people would often mistake me for a girl, and I was always too shy and embarrassed to correct them. It was easier to just let people think what they wanted.
A big part of my struggle was dealing with homophobia, both from the outside and from within myself. I admit that I had internalised homophobia. The way I was treated when people saw me as a gay, feminine boy was awful; I faced slurs and rejection. In contrast, when I transitioned and people saw me as a pretty white woman, the treatment was completely different. I got compliments, people held doors open for me, and I was treated much better. It's hard to ignore how much easier it is to move through the world this way. I'm not heterosexual, but living as a woman allows me to approximate a straight relationship, which feels safer.
I started questioning my gender identity seriously a few years ago. I began taking hormones very early, which halted my male puberty. Because of that, I'm very convincing as a woman; people regularly tell me they'd never guess I was born male. But even with all that, I haven't found the happiness I was looking for. I think I was chasing an idea of becoming someone else in the future, thinking that would solve my problems.
I developed a real obsessive hatred towards my male body parts, especially my ribcage and waist. I couldn't stop thinking about how big they were compared to a female body, a body I know I can never truly have. It felt like a hopeless fight.
I've spent a lot of time thinking about concepts like autogynephilia (AGP). Even though I don't think it applied to me personally, I believe it's a real thing for some people, and I got called transphobic for saying so, which was strange because I was living as a trans woman at the time. It made me question everything.
Now, I'm seriously considering detransitioning. The thought of going off hormones is scary because I don't want to become big and manly. I just want to have more energy. But the idea of having to correct people about my gender and go back to being seen as male is incredibly embarrassing. It feels like I'm stuck between two difficult paths.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's okay to be a feminine male. That's what I am biologically. The idea that it's offensive to call someone a feminine male only makes sense if you think being a feminine male is a bad thing. I'm trying to accept that it's not.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Teens (before knowing about transgenderism) | People frequently mistook me for a girl; I was too shy to correct them. |
| Around 15-16 | Started taking hormones, which halted my male puberty. |
| 20s (Present) | Living as a woman, "passing" convincingly but feeling unhappy and questioning my transition. Considering detransitioning but worried about physical changes and social embarrassment. |
Top Comments by /u/elektra_xtravaganza:
Omg clocked. Definitely I am homophobic. Probably this did play a role in my dysphoria. I'm still not heterosexual (although most ppl I know irl fight me on this, insist I'm a straight woman) but at least I approximate it better.
The real struggle though was being GNC. I am treated fabulously as a pretty white girl, compared to the homophobia as a faggy weak boy. My gay friends get called slurs, while I get catcalled and complimented, doors held open 4 me, etc.
Also I don't feel accused and I appreciate your insight <3
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I definitely share your experience of obsessive hatred of the parts of my body that are male.... I can't get over how big my ribcage and waist are. But they are only big compared to females.....which I will never biologically be. it's interesting that you say you were simply never trans. Do you think there is a real difference between you and other trans women / males who have transitioned?
I am on the fence about detransitioning because I started so early, halted my own puberty, and now am very convincing as a woman (yet another person told me tonight "omg i'd never have guessed"). Yet I'm not happy. Maybe I'm just chasing happiness where it isn't, like you said, aiming to "be someone else in the future." Your post was helpful and interesting to me.
that does help lol. i dont want to be big and manly... if i could just have more energy i can accept going off hormones and maybe being less soft. the idea of correcting people about my gender is SO embarrassing. before i even heard about transgenderism people always thought i was a girl and i was too shy to correct them
Omg. So much to think about. Thank you for the blunt honesty coupled with empathy and compassion. I'm sure you know that saying "you're a feminine male" is seen as kind of offensive to trans people... yet it's also reality. Why does it have to be a bad thing? It's literally what I am LOL. Isn't it just self hatred to project that and make it so other people can't say it? It's only offensive if you really think its a bad thing to be a feminine male. I appreciate your thoughts very much <3
I honestly don't know, and can't decide how I feel. It seems some autogynephiles truly, genuinely improve their lives through transition. Yet others ruin their marriage, lose their career, etc. I think I would also recommend therapy, although many therapists will deny the existence of autogynephilia. I have been called transphobic many times for believing it to be real!! Yet I'm literally a transsexual (albeit strongly questioning, hence why I'm on this sub). I have not experienced AGP but I wish you the best.