This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. The user engages in nuanced, empathetic conversations specific to the detrans/desister experience, showing an understanding of the community's unique perspectives (e.g., linking autism to gender confusion). There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The language is consistent, personal, and contextually appropriate.
About me
I started feeling deeply uncomfortable with my body as a teenager, especially during puberty, and I thought my confusion meant I wasn't female. Influenced heavily by online friends, I identified as non-binary and socially transitioned with a new name, hoping it would fix my anxiety. I eventually realized my discomfort wasn't from being the wrong sex, but from the challenges of growing up autistic and not understanding social rules. I don't regret exploring my identity, but I see now that medical transition wouldn't have solved my underlying problems. Now I'm learning to make peace with my body and move forward.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was really confused and uncomfortable with my body, especially during puberty. I think a lot of that came from being autistic. I had a hard time connecting with my body and I never felt like I fit in with the expectations for my sex. The non-verbal rules of gender felt impossible for me to understand, which made me feel like there was something fundamentally wrong with me.
I started identifying as non-binary first. It felt like a way to explain why I didn't fit in anywhere. Looking back, I was heavily influenced by what I saw online and by my friends. The conversations happening at the time, about how men and women are exactly the same and should be raised the same, made gender feel like something fluid that you could just choose. It seemed like a solution to my deep feelings of anxiety and depression.
I socially transitioned, and I even changed my name to something that was very obviously a chosen name, the kind people might call a "typical non-binary name." For a while, it felt like it was helping. It gave me a new identity to hide behind when I had such low self-esteem. But the underlying problems never went away. I was still the same confused person, just with a different label.
I don't regret exploring my identity because I think it was a necessary part of my growth. Almost everyone spends their teen years sorting out who they are and making mistakes. I had to go through that process. I've had to learn to forgive myself for the confusion and the choices I made when I was young and vulnerable. It’s normal to have regrets about your teenage years, and this was a big part of mine.
Now, I see that my discomfort was less about being born in the wrong body and more about the general difficulty of growing up, compounded by being autistic and not understanding social cues. I don't think medical transition would have been the right path for me. I'm just trying to move forward and make peace with the body I have.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13-14 | Started feeling intense discomfort and confusion during puberty. Felt pressure from social expectations. |
| 15 | Began identifying as non-binary and was influenced by online communities and friends. |
| 16 | Socially transitioned, including changing my name to an androgynous, chosen name. |
| 17-18 | Started to question my transition and realized it was linked to autism and social confusion. Began the process of detransitioning socially. |
Top Comments by /u/emiredlouis:
Is it your name? The barista said it’s a “typical non binary name like bug or grass” that’s maybe part of why they thought that. Like it might seem like a name someone non binary probably picked for themselves + you’re also androgynous. are you using your given name?
Almost everyone spends their teen years sorting out their identity and making mistakes. I understand this is really difficult and you feel regret but it’s important to forgive yourself and understand that it is normal and most teenage experiences are hard and full of regret and mistakes.
Me. I definitely think it relates to gender confusion because gender is mostly communicated non verbally and autistics have hard time with non verbal communication. Autistic people also often have a hard time feeling connected to our bodies and we don’t usually fit the norms expected of us.
It’s totally understandable and normal to feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. I think it’s important to feel proud of yourself that you are now able to be honest about yourself. Also, no young person knows who they are and we are all susceptible to influence and going through puberty and adolescence is super difficult for everyone and everyone is confused and does things they later on cringe at or regret. I would recommend finding someone you trust to talk about it or seeing a therapist.
maybe it’s because culture/racial identity is seen as meaningful and real and worth defending but in the modern era there aren’t really any distinctions between the role of female and male (apart from childbirth, but less and less women are having children). and the discussions in the 2010s around “women and men have the same inate interests and the same inate predispositions and temperaments and desires” and the idea that boys and girls should be raised exactly the same probably led to this sense of fluidity we have