This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments display a high degree of personal, nuanced, and emotionally complex reflection that is consistent with genuine detransition/desister experiences. The user describes specific internal conflicts (e.g., internalized misogyny, a porn addiction, the influence of a specific female role model) and practical realities (e.g., country-specific medical processes, the fear of not passing) that are difficult to fabricate convincingly. The language is passionate and contains the kind of raw, critical, and introspective detail typical of someone processing a difficult personal journey.
About me
I wanted to be a normal guy, not a visibly trans person, so I tried to socially transition with male names. I was terrified of not passing and hated the idea of having to constantly explain myself. I realized a lot of my feelings came from internalized misogyny and a deep fear of being an undesirable woman. Meeting a confident, older woman who lived on her own terms showed me a new way to be female. I've detransitioned now and am finally learning to accept myself as a woman.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started because I just wanted to be a normal guy. I wanted to be like my male classmates and the guys I admired on Instagram, not some weird in-between thing. People never understood why I didn’t want to be visibly trans; I just wanted to be indistinguishable from a cis man.
I never ended up medically transitioning because in my country, the process is long and there's no informed consent. But I thought about it a lot and socially transitioned for a while. I went by a few different male names—Amos, because of my Christian upbringing, Sebastian after an anime character, and Rocco, which is just a common name here. Looking back, I don’t even like those names anymore; they remind me of a sad version of myself.
A huge reason I wanted to transition was because I was tired of fighting with my biology. I hated my breasts and just wanted to exist without having to alter myself. I also hated always having to explain my name and pronouns; it felt like I was constantly asking people to lie to me. I was terrified of not passing. I knew that even on hormones, I might not look 100% like a man and could end up just looking like a testosteroneized woman, which was a scary thought for me.
I had a lot of internalized misogyny. I was disgusted by the idea of being a gender-nonconforming woman, so I thought living as a trans man would let me love women without feeling like a failed woman. But at the same time, I had a crippling porn addiction and sometimes missed being a woman because I wanted to be sexualized by men every second of the day. It was a mess. I realized I didn't want to be a man; I just wanted to control the image men had of me.
I also didn't want to age as a woman, but not because I wasn't one. It was because I didn't want to be ugly and undesirable—something an old man is allowed to be. I had never seen a powerful woman in my life; I was surrounded by trad wives and didn't want to be like them. That changed when I met my girlfriend’s Italian teacher. She was about 50, single, child-free, and didn’t wear makeup. She was smart, educated, confident, and carefree. Her entire identity was more important than her looks. She was beautiful without putting any effort into it. For the first time, I saw a woman who existed as if the patriarchy didn’t matter, who completely ignored the existence of men. She was the female figure I had always needed.
Seeing her made me realize I could be a woman on my own terms. I detransitioned and embraced body neutrality and radical feminism. I used to be a truscum and believed that gender was the sex you perceive in your head, that I was born female but should have a male body. Now I think that's stupid. You can't have a male body through transition; you can only alter a female one to appear male. You don't magically become male.
I don’t regret exploring transition because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret the time I spent hating myself and my body for being female. I’m learning to accept myself as a woman, and it’s a much more peaceful place to be.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15-16 | Started feeling intense discomfort with female puberty and began wanting to be a "normal guy." |
| 17 | Socially transitioned, began using male names (Amos, Sebastian, Rocco). |
| 18 | Researched medical transition but decided against it due to long process and fear of not passing. |
| 19 | Met a confident older woman who became a role model, began questioning my transition. |
| 20 | Realized my feelings were rooted in internalized misogyny and a desire to control my image. Detransitioned. |
Top Comments by /u/enbym00n:
I did it because
- I was tired of having to fight constantly with my biology, I just wanted to be able to exist without alteration.
- I hated always having to explain my name and pronouns to everyone, it just felt like asking people to lie to me.
- I realized it would have been difficult to pass even after starting with hormones and i hated not passing. Most of the times doesn’t make you 100% your male version, you can end up looking just like a tedtosteronized woman woman and it was just terrifying to me, I wanted to look and sound indistinguishable from a cis man.
- I had already lived most of my life as a woman, I had experienced world as a woman, I was socialized as a woman and no amount of surgery could’ve changed that.
- I had transitioned bc I had a shit ton of internalized misogyny. I was disgusted by the idea of being a gnc woman so I lived my life most of the times being a trans men bexause I wanted to be able to love women without feeling a bad person, a failed woman, but sometimes I missed being a woman because I wanted to be sexualized by men in every second of my life bc i had crippling porn addiction. I realized I just wanted to control the image men had of me, nothing more, so I just detransitioned and embraced body neutrality and radical feminism.
- I realized that I didn’t want to age as a woman not because I wasn’t one, but because I didn’t want to be ugly and undesirable (something an old man is absolutely allowed to be) and I had never see one powerful woman in my life, like i lived my life basically surrounded by trad wives and i didn’t want to be like them. Then, one day I met a 50 yo woman, my girlfriend’s italian teacher, who was absolutely the kind of person I wanted to be. She was a single woman, child free, she wasn’t hypersexualized like the women I had seen during my entire life, she didn’t wear makeup, she didn’t act like most women I had met. She was and is smart, intelligent, educated, she acted always so carefree while being always so informed, for the first time in my life I had seen a woman that looked and sounded actually confident, for the first time in my life i had seen a woman describing herself as confident without using her “seductive power”, without wearing 10 pounds of makeup or selling herself on onlyfans, her entire identity was way more important then her looks, she was and still is beautiful but she just didn’t put effort in it. It was beautiful for me to see a woman being able to dress without sexualizing herself, without dying her hair because “oh no gray hair😭”, it was beautiful to see a woman existing as if patriarchy didn’t exist, a woman who completely ignored the existence of men. and yeah, that’s all, i had found the female figure i had always needed.
I used to be a truscum and a lot of them said that gender is the sex you perceive in you head, like I was born with a female body but I don’t identify with it because I feel like I should have a male one with a penis, no breasts etc…which is just stupid. you can’t have a male body with transition. you can only mutilate a female one and inject testosterone in it and make it appear male, but you won’t magically be able to turn a male.
your face is very feminine, although the stubble might confuse people even if idk if you have a feminine enough voice i’d just assume you have pcos. anyway you’ll probably pass more with slightly longer hair, but again if i saw someone with your facial features + fem voice i would never say male
I used to change a lot of names because i just couldn’t find the right one, the main ones I went by were Amos (due to my christian upbringing), Sebastian (bc of an anime character😦) and then Rocco (just a common male name in my country). I actually don’t even like these names anymore, Amos sounds nice but I can’t avoid associating it to a sad version of myself.
same! i never transitioned medically because in my country we don’t have informed consent so the process is a little long, but i also just wanted to be a normal guy. i just wanted to be like my male classmates, like the guys i used to admire on instagram, not a weird ass inbetween and people never understood why i didn’t want to be visibly trans.