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Reddit user /u/evefromvenus's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 23
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
serious health complications
now infertile
body dysmorphia
retransition
homosexual
puberty discomfort
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
eating disorder
ocd
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.

The user demonstrates a consistent, deeply personal, and emotionally complex narrative of their transition and detransition over several years. The comments include specific, lived experiences (e.g., hormone effects, hair loss, voice training, emotional struggles) and show a nuanced, evolving perspective that is common among detransitioners. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with someone who has experienced significant personal harm.

About me

I started testosterone because I was miserable as a teenager and thought becoming a man would fix everything. My journey was really about escaping trauma and a deep hatred for my body, not actually being male. I stopped hormones when I realized living as a man felt alienating and I missed being a woman. It was a painful process, but I’ve learned to accept myself as a gender-nonconforming female. Now I’m living fully as a detransitioned woman, and I’m finally at peace.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition started when I was a teenager. I was born female, and I grew up in the South where I was miserable, abused, and scorned by my peers. I had a lot of underlying issues, including OCD, depression, and a serious eating disorder. I hated my body, especially my breasts, and I felt a deep discomfort with puberty. At the time, I thought all my problems would be solved if I could just become a man. I believed that if I had a deeper voice, was a little taller, or had a flat chest, I wouldn't be suicidal anymore. Looking back, I think my desire to transition was a form of escapism and maybe even self-harm.

I got really influenced online, especially by FTM YouTubers around 2013 to 2017. I was a teenager then, and I became obsessed with their content. They made medical transition seem normal and necessary, showing off sex toys, packers, and talking about very graphic sexual stuff. It felt like a cult, and it brainwashed me into thinking this was the only path. I started to believe I was a trans man.

I started testosterone and was on it for about two years. At first, it gave me a lot of confidence. My voice dropped, and I could mostly pass as male. But eventually, I started to feel a deep sense that something was wrong. I began to miss female experiences and being seen as a woman. I realized that living as a man felt alienating. I had to ask myself some hard questions, like why I wasn't satisfied with men perceiving me as a man, or why I felt so incongruent with being assumed to have a penis. I missed my femaleness and the connection I had with the lesbian community before I transitioned.

I stopped testosterone cold turkey in July of 2020. The physical process of detransition was rough. I had horrible mood swings, hot flashes, and extreme hair loss that scared me. I got crazy ovarian cysts before my period finally came back in October. My eating disorder didn't help my hair situation either. It was a lot to handle, but over time, my body started to recover. My voice lightened a little naturally, but I also had to do some voice training to sound more feminine again. My body hair thinned out a lot, and I don't have to shave every day anymore. My hair is growing back, slowly.

Emotionally, detransitioning was even harder. I had to face the fact that I had put my body through a lot for a solution that didn't fix the underlying problems. I had to learn to accept myself as a woman again, which was a long process. I put up pictures of myself as a little girl to remind myself that I am the same person. Some days I feel shame for changing her future, but most days I feel proud of the progress I've made. I’ve learned that womanhood is fluid, and there’s a place for me as a gender-nonconforming woman. I don't need medical interventions to be myself.

I don't regret my transition because it led me to where I am now, but I see it as a very difficult and painful chapter of my life. I benefited from non-affirming therapy that helped me work through my issues without encouraging me to continue medical transition. I now believe that my feelings were tied up in trauma, internalized homophobia, and a deep-seated hatred for my body that had nothing to do with actually being a man.

Today, I live as a detransitioned woman. I have a job I love in a small town, and I'm accepted for who I am. It took time, but I found my footing. My thoughts on gender now are that it's a journey, but medical transition is not an easy fix. It's a serious decision with lifelong consequences, and I think young people especially need to be careful and explore their underlying issues first.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Year Event
Teenager 2013-2017 Heavily influenced by FTM YouTubers, became obsessed with transition content
Early 20s ~2018 Started testosterone
23 July 2020 Stopped testosterone cold turkey
23 Oct 2020 Period returned
23 Late 2020 Started seeing baby hairs regrow, began voice training
24 May 2021 Buzzed hair completely to start fresh
Now 2024 Hair is chest-length, living fully as a detransitioned woman

Top Comments by /u/evefromvenus:

33 comments • Posting since September 26, 2020
Reddit user evefromvenus (detrans female) explains how FTM YouTubers from 2013-2017 exposed teens to graphic sexual content, including sex toys and packers, normalizing it for a confused and impressionable audience.
127 pointsJan 30, 2023
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THIS. and i can say for sure theres a new generation of teens watching these trans youtubers. i watched a lot of the big FTM youtubers in 2013-2017 when i was a teen and the amount of graphic sexual talk is disturbing. showing off sex toys, packers, etc. to impressionable young people. they made it seem normal, but its not normal to have adults promoting this stuff to kids who are confused :(

Reddit user evefromvenus (detrans female) explains why she believes the detailed public discussion of minors' sexual anatomy and experiences in the name of "gender education" is predatory and inappropriate.
70 pointsJan 30, 2023
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you hit the nail on the head here. especially when it comes to medical transition, its like, well yeah we have to talk in depth about our clits, our sex drives, our sexual partners/experiences, our prosthetics to our audience. its gender affirming!!1! its education!!

NO. its predatory. its inappropriate. its sick. i hate that people in their 20s-30s peddled all this stuff to me as a teen. i wish i could get those years back, but now at least we can spread the word and say NO!

Reddit user evefromvenus (detrans female) explains her disgust with a video by a prominent FTM creator, criticizing his patronizing tone, dismissal of detrans experiences, and his comparison of detransition to a "shitty tattoo."
32 pointsOct 9, 2020
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this video, and especially the comments, are upsetting. i used to look up to/follow ty (among others like him in the ftm community) years ago but lost interest as i lost interest in identity politics as a whole.

maybe i'm crazy, feel free to call me out, but with the perspective of being a LIVED DETRANSITIONER, not a confused cis person, not a trans person being pressured by everything under the sun except my own fucking autonomy apparently.... ty has the most disgusting, condescending and patronizing look in his eyes for the duration of this video. he cites one study from another trans guy's video, and then goes on to make sweeping generalizations...comparing detransition to his shitty tattoo? fuck you man.

i'm a radical leftist with no love for terfs. i'm a gender nonconforming woman. i am not doing an "UNO REVERSE CARD" transition back into my """cis self""", my ftmtf experience is so much deeper, darker, beautiful and complex than this scoffing dismissal. i don't think people are saying trans people wish harm on us. but you sure want to dismiss, label and completely disregard the complexity of our experiences. how many of us do not regret our transitions, how many of us are gender nonconforming WITHOUT MICROLABELS.

sorry to rant WOW but this was shocking to me i guess. i am disgusted that he thinks he can sit back as some kind of figure of authority for his MOSTLY YOUNG trans audience. he has so little respect for us, that much is fucking clear, and he is using his platform to blame us for the necessary restrictions to medical transition. crazy.

Reddit user evefromvenus (detrans female) shares her positive detransition experience, explaining how her body recovered and she learned to love herself again.
25 pointsJan 4, 2023
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i truly thought it would never get better. the sunken cost fallacy and all, being on hormones for 2 years and being able to (for the most part) pass as male.

but it did get better!! my cycle came back, my voice lightened (a little naturally, but mostly through a little training and lots of day to day experience), my body hair thinned out SO much now i don't have to shave every single day. my hair grew out, became a little bit stronger even if its still not the best. i was accepted by the world as the woman i always have been. the things i thought i'd never feel or do again, i have!

it's a long struggle to accept life after detransition. but the key fact is that there IS life after detransition, and even if it's different, i consider our community blessed for the time we still have on this planet!!! you still have plenty of time to learn how to love yourself and your body exactly as it is now. not what it was, or might have been. you can still make a difference in the world and the lives of others. i'm sending you lots of love and hopefully this will help a little.

Reddit user evefromvenus (detrans female) explains why a female-only detrans subreddit is needed, citing the invasion of other female spaces and the presence of misogynistic rhetoric from questioning trans men.
23 pointsFeb 11, 2024
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Every single other female only space has been ruined, so i think that'd be pretty fucking rad 😍😍

Then again, it might just be an issue of non detransitioners bringing rhetoric and attitude over here. I've seen some nasty "questioning" trans men here too lol but most of them hate women too so what can ya do

Reddit user evefromvenus (detrans female) explains her voice recovery after detransition, noting it took a year to shed male speech patterns and she now sounds traditionally feminine, even working as a receptionist. She also discusses the emotional struggle of accepting her voice is different from what it would have been naturally.
22 pointsNov 27, 2022
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yes I do sound traditionally feminine. It took about a year to get settled into it and out of the male speech patterns I mimicked for so long but as of like 2021 I have no issues really. I worked as a receptionist even! A little voice practice goes a long way.

I do struggle emotionally/mentally sometimes with knowing in myself that it's different than it would have been. But that's something that I can work through, and it hasn't affected my life nearly as much as I thought it would!

Reddit user evefromvenus (detrans female) explains how YouTube "success story" content from creators like Chase Ross brainwashed her into a trans identity after initially finding it dull.
21 pointsDec 24, 2020
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it's interesting you bring up the trans community on Youtube too, because i found that i only became fixated on it after i had convinced myself i was trans. one of my trans friends tried to show me a Chase Ross video in like 2010 or 11 and i thought it was dull and confusing. obviously in 2016, things were different, and i was obsessed with his content, along with the other typical success stories on the platform. unfortunately, some of the worst of the bunch.

there's nothing like seemingly attractive, successful, relatable trans people who make """educational content""" to really brainwash you, huh?

Reddit user evefromvenus (detrans female) comments on Philosophy Tube's transition, explaining they stopped watching due to the creator's apparent effort to portray a perfect and successful transition.
21 pointsJan 30, 2023
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philosophy tube was one of my favorite channels because she went into serious issues on a variety of topics. i stopped watching when i could see how HARD she was trying to have a successful, beautiful and perfect transition. it makes me so sad. shes always been a professional actor but this was just too much.

Reddit user evefromvenus (detrans female) comments that while identity politics is a problem, detransitioners should not be blamed for it, and that explaining their detransition to others is a normal part of the process.
18 pointsDec 24, 2020
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i do agree that the obsession with gender/identity politics is part of the problem, that doesn't mean it's okay or productive to take that out on individuals who are coming OUT of the effects of that problem. detransition is a process that involves explaining things to other people sometimes, and asking for advice on this matter is really not a big deal at all.

Reddit user evefromvenus (detrans female) comments on the pressure of FTM transition trends, explaining how the "knife and syringe" emoji and voice update videos felt like a cult or trend, and discusses her own wishful thinking to become a burly lumberjack type despite her small 5'4" frame.
17 pointsDec 24, 2020
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not gonna lie, i had a visceral response to the point about every ftm having the knife and syringe emoji ... it always made me uncomfortable, as did the "this is my voice x months on t" because it actually did make it feel as if it was a trend at that point. or a cult.

i also have to mention, i started transition with the intention/desire to be like those burly ftms you describe, which is very fascinating to see other people describe the reverse. ie wanting to be more of a twink, or a fashionable/artsy/pretty effeminate guy. i think it could be that my 'type' is much more the lumberjack type, leading to some serious wishful thinking on my part. i'm 5'4 and can barely get over 110, i am not buck angel 😂