This story is from the comments by /u/evergone3 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this user account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments display a high degree of consistency, emotional depth, and a complex, evolving personal narrative centered around the user's experience with a brief medical transition, detransition, and the underlying trauma and body image issues that contributed to their initial decision. The writing is nuanced, self-reflective, and contains specific, personal details (e.g., past anorexia, sexual abuse, experiences with specific medical professionals) that accumulate into a coherent and believable life story over many posts. The user's passion and anger are directed at medical malpractice and ideological pressures, which is consistent with the genuine trauma and frustration many detransitioners express.
About me
I was a tomboy who started dressing like a boy as a child to feel safe after being abused. I later tried to transition to escape the trauma and harassment I faced as a woman, but living as a man felt lonely and alienating. After being assaulted again, I realized I couldn't escape my reality and quit testosterone. I found a therapist who helped me understand my transition was a trauma response, not a solution. Now I'm happily living as an androgynous woman and healing from my past.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was really about me trying to escape from being a woman. I was born female and for most of my life, I was just a tomboy. I'm a lesbian, and I've always been more comfortable in men's clothes and with a masculine style. But things got complicated because of my past. I was sexually abused starting when I was just four years old, and that trauma continued on and off throughout my childhood and teens. I think even as a little kid, I started dressing like a boy as a way to camouflage myself, to feel safer from predators. I thought if people saw me as a boy, I wouldn't be a target.
When I hit puberty, it was really distressing. My body was changing in a way that made it obvious I was a girl, and I hated that. I felt like my safety shield was being taken away. I also struggled with anorexia for years, which was another way I tried to control and distance myself from my body. By the time I was 18, I had moved to a new city, was feeling very isolated, and was dealing with a lot of harassment. I was deeply depressed and dissociating from myself. I had this intrusive thought: "What if I'm trans?"
I went to a gender clinic thinking I would get some kind of psychotherapy to help me understand my confusion. Instead, in one appointment, the doctor diagnosed me with gender dysphoria. I mentioned my history of trauma, depression, and the eating disorder, but he completely dismissed it. He just said I could "talk to someone else about that" and handed me a prescription for testosterone. Two weeks later, I had my first injection. It all happened so fast.
I was on testosterone for a total of about five months, but it was patchy. I actually stopped going to appointments for a five-month period in the middle because I was living my life and feeling confused. During the time I was on T, I didn't feel right. I never had a problem with having a vagina; my issue was more with my breasts and just the general experience of being a woman in a misogynistic world. I realised that my desire to be a man was mostly about wanting to escape the harassment, the sexism, and the trauma associated with my female body. I thought life would be easier as a straight man.
But living as a "man" was lonely and alienating. I was socialised female, so I didn't know how to connect with men. Their humour often made me uncomfortable, and I hated the misogynistic things they'd say around me once they saw me as "one of the guys." At the same time, women became wary of me. They'd cross the street to avoid me or act nervous in elevators. I lost that easy, natural connection I'd always had with other women. I felt like I didn't belong anywhere. The final straw was when I was sexually assaulted by a male coworker. As awful as it was, it jolted me back to reality. It made me see that no matter what I did, men would always see me as a woman. My attempt to escape had failed.
I quit testosterone cold turkey and never went back to the clinic. I started seeing a trauma specialist, an 82-year-old psychiatrist who helped me understand that my brief transition was a dissociative coping mechanism, a repeat of the "boy camouflage" I used as a child. She diagnosed me with PTSD and helped me see that my body issues were more related to Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), which often goes hand-in-hand with eating disorders. We stopped talking about gender completely and focused on healing the real trauma.
Detransitioning was the best decision I ever made. I'm so much happier now, just living as a woman. I'm an androgynous, masculine woman, and that's okay. I can wear what I want, and I've reconnected with the female community. It feels fantastic to be recognised as who I am again. I'm approachable to other women, and I feel safe with my own people. I don't have any regrets about trying to transition because it taught me so much about myself and the world, but I am angry at the medical community for their negligence. They failed to see the real issues and pushed me towards a path that wasn't right for me.
I don't believe in the concept of an innate gender identity. For me, "woman" is my biological reality, and my personality and interests are just part of who I am as a person. I think the idea that you need to change your body if you don't fit a stereotype is harmful. It makes the stereotypes stronger and leaves behind everyone who is gender non-conforming. I'm glad I found my way back.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 4 | First experience of sexual abuse begins. |
| 5 | Began dressing as a boy as a form of "camouflage" for safety. |
| 15 | Developed anorexia nervosa. |
| 16 | At my lowest weight, critically underweight. |
| 17 | Preliminary diagnosis of PTSD; began recovery from anorexia (non-linear). |
| 18 | Moved cities, became isolated and dissociative; walked into a gender clinic and was diagnosed with "gender dysphoria" in one appointment. |
| 18 | Started testosterone injections. |
| 18 | Stopped attending HRT appointments for a 5-month period, living life without medical intervention. |
| 19 | Restarted testosterone for a final 3-month period. |
| 19 | Sexually assaulted, which prompted a reality check and led to quitting testosterone and detransitioning. |
| 19 | Began therapy with a trauma specialist; confirmed PTSD diagnosis and understood transition as a dissociative coping mechanism. |
| 20 | Living happily as a detransitioned, androgynous woman, focused on trauma recovery. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/evergone3:
It happens. I’ve been in touch recently with someone who considered “himself” a trans man for two years. She said the same things as you do here; her family was accepting, her girlfriend had no issues, she was considered very conventionally attractive as a “man” and often received complements about how handsome she was. Her friendship group all educated themselves about “trans stuff” and were there for her at every turn. Perfect, right?
Anyway, she got in contact with me because she knew I had detransitioned after a few months on HRT and returned to my life as a woman and proud lesbian. Prior to her phone call I had been the “toxic” outcast of her group. Now she wanted to let me know she was sorry for judging me so harshly just because I quit transition and went into trauma therapy to deal with my actual issues. We had coffee together and I listened to her whole story. My heart went out to her. She was the “dream” outcome; seemingly happy, involved in her community, a real social butterfly with a legion of friends. But it still wasn’t right, and that’s ok.
I hope you are doing alright now. This is a major step to take, and no matter how hard things may seem, remember it would always be harder to live out a lie. Best of luck to you.
“I didn’t fit in and then I was slowly drip fed this idea that you could change sex.”
Misfits rarely stay misfits for long. Most eventually find community. Children and teens are notorious for emphasising the “need” to fit in but there have always been subcultures who don’t fit the mainstream - geeks, punks, goths, hippies, skaters, bikies and whatever else. There are no hard and fast rules for fitting into these subcultures, you might like science fiction, wear a lot of black, get some tattoos or a piercing, dye your hair or save up for a Harley. At the end of the day you can walk away the same person. I’m stunned that these doctors don’t look harder at the “not fitting in” phenomenon before plunging people into medical transition.
I don’t know how far you are into questioning transition/thinking about quitting HRT. As a young lesbian who briefly took testosterone, this is how I quit transition and became comfortable re-identifying as a female (please note this is only my experience):
• I realised it was not dysphoria that plagued me whenever I interacted with men, it was misogyny. I felt deeply uncomfortable with their condescension, their sexual innuendos/advances, their sexist humour and degrading way of speaking to me. I was not “dysphoric”, I felt shame and humiliation - natural reactions to being consistently shunned as a woman, and a non-conforming one at that.
• I realised that my wish to be a biological male was misguided and that the end result would never meet my expectations. As a woman attracted to women, my life would definitely be easier as a man. I would be a simple, straight guy. But the reality was that as a “man” I could not date women; I could not even connect with them. Lesbian sex is not heterosexual sex, and hooking up with straight women is very unlikely to happen as someone with a vagina.
• I realised that the wariness and sudden discomfort of other women around me was due to my sudden male persona. Women were beginning to recognise me as a man, and in doing so, they reacted with a logical degree of caution. Other women did not hate me (and I very much doubt they hate you) but they were cautious/suspicious/wary around me in a way they had never been before. As someone socialised female, this new response to me was a shock to the system.
• I realised that the reason I felt more comfortable/confident as a female (or as you mention, more valued) was because I was rooted in being female. I was born female and for many years felt it was my right and duty to advocate for female equality, to help other women, and to raise my voice against any sexist discrimination/male violence etc. As a newly created “man” version of myself, I felt I had no right to speak on anything, neither female nor male existence, as I had de-identified from the female world and would never truly fit into the male world. This made me incredibly lonely and frustrated, and distanced me from my only stable community, one built on a female network.
The summary: I learned that my lesbianism was not only normal but deeply personal. Acceptance, cheesy as it may sound, would only come from within. As for my body - years of sexist comments, sexualisation, harassment, bullying and finally sexual assault led me to want to destroy myself, or at least to distance myself from the physical thing attracting all this unwanted attention. I projected my self-hate onto my sex, and wrongly concluded that I would not only be safer as a “man”, but happier too. Once I got over this and began to think of my negative experiences as just that - negative experiences - rather than a clinical diagnosis of dysphoria, I was able to accept my body and move on with my life.
This got very long. I hope it helps in some way!
According to researchers from both Boston and John Hopkins universities who collaborated on a study on chest binding and its physical effects:
Despite the ubiquity of the practice, a staggering 97.2 percent of those surveyed reported at least one negative health outcome that they attributed to binding. Seventy-four percent reported pain-related concerns—the most common side effect was back pain (53.8 percent), followed by overheating (53.5 percent), chest pain (48.8 percent), shortness of breath (46.6 percent), and itching (44.9 percent). Fifty respondents even believed they had suffered from rib fractures as a result of binding.
Hope this helps. Most people bind their breasts on a daily basis, and I think that young girls in particular may not be aware of the adverse effects of binding and might be more likely to bind for hours and hours on end or even at night.
The best thing I’ve found is that I can relate to people again - I know how. I was born female and socialised female, so I only ever knew how to be female (despite being a very tomboyish girl and later a non-conforming woman). I struggled interacting with men because I didn’t find their humour funny or their “inclusive” behaviour particularly inclusive, especially when jokes and fun came at the expense of other women. Now I can laugh and talk with women again and they instantly recognise our shared background. Our shared socialisation. Our shared experiences. It’s fantastic to be recognised as who and what I am again. No more women crossing the road when they see me coming, no more timid glances in elevators. I’ve become safe to my own people again, I’m approachable, I’m happy.
I’m also happier in my work. Doing my job (working with children) as a man caused unnecessary suspicion around me. People didn’t really even see me as a man (I quit HRT before much about me could change) but as this strange in-between entity. The kids were confused and my co-workers too. Now everyone gets it - I’m just another woman! And it feels so good to say that.
I may not be the same as I was before attempting transition, but I’ve learned a lot about myself and my relationship to this world and the people in it.
Thanks for bringing this to the thread! Best wishes to you going forward.
I just don’t believe in “cis”, I believe it’s a word created to fabricate an oppressive “other” for TRAs to hate. But if “cis” means you are a person living your life in your biological body and accepting it for what it is, even if you were once given cross-sex hormones/surgery/whatever and faced medical abuse, then yes, if you have returned to living out your biological reality, you are indeed “cis”...
Hi, I’m 20, female, got confused and coached along the wrong path by “woke” doctors at 19. Thankfully, my story did not involve the internet or engagement in any trans ideological circles. I think this contributes in a significant way to the fact that I was able to snap out of my dissociative trance after just 6 months.
It seems, from the “sound-bites” and rhetoric your daughter is regurgitating (I cannot live like this, i.e in her natural body, I will die if I am not “helped”, i.e put on cross-sex hormones and cut up) that she is involved in some kind of circle. People in this sub have referred to the transgender-IDed community as a cult, and having been raised in an orthodox religion, I would say it comes pretty close. There is definitely dogma, doctrine, and typical, unbending language used to reinforce both these things. Rather than “sin” as the antagonist here it is GD, rather than the Bible, there are the trans activist scriptures, and rather than the path of Christ, there is the path of Transition.
I think of myself as a testament to the fact that the medical community is failing a lot of young people. I was not properly screened for underlying mental health issues, though no screening should have been necessary as I had quite a file recording these issues. There was no correspondance between my previous psychologist and the clinic that got me on HRT. I am glad you’re with your daughter throughout this process. I was alone, and it took (another) sexual assault on me to bring me to my senses and realise that I was dissociating to avoid confronting my past years of trauma and sexual abuse.
Your daughter is studying in a STEM field (and doing very well it seems!) so I would watch closely whether or not that plays into this. It may be that she has accepted a bunch of age-old, good-for-nothing sexist stereotypes and believes she must be a “man” because of her interests and leanings, alongside her bodily discomfort. You are a mother; you most likely understand that many young women are uncomfortable in their bodies, and we have good reason to be: objectification, harassment, hyper-sexualisation. That is no reason for your daughter to take it out on herself, however. If she wants to take it out on anything, it should be the misogynistic society that condones and encourages such disgusting behaviour toward women.
Apologies for the essay. I hope you and your daughter find a way through this together. You are a very responsible mother for having so much concern and taking such an active part in this process. Best of luck to you both.
I agree. I have a bisexual male friend (he is not femme at all in physicality or presentation) who read through some “egg” thread and came very close to having an identity crisis over it. Then he stopped reading it and poof he was just his usual self again. I can’t imagine what someone less stable might have done in his place
I think this is actually pretty common.
We live in a funny old world, but still a heteronormative world. In my case, this is where the confusion (read: disapproval) of others in my life came from. I stopped wanting to be a “normal” man, a standard straight guy who wanted to end up with a woman and live a standard straight guy life, and I started being a “strange” woman. “Strange” as in a woman who loves other women, who wears men’s clothes, who acts very masculine and yet... is still a woman.
As I’d always been a “strange” girl (in all the same respects, just the littler version) people were all very keen to jump on the train of me “becoming a man”. This was what was going to make me normal! But it didn’t work out, and I went back to being a masculine, lesbian woman.
Don’t let your friend’s “confusion” or comments eat at you. For a lot of people, norms are just easier to swallow. You might have been a transmasculine-gender-whatever-you-want-to-call-it, but ultimately you probably were fitting a norm better than you did as a woman. People are now confused that you want to throw that normative behaviour away, because to most, norms are life buoys.
Good on you for being you.
Ha, ha, ha. Because being your average female is a breeze. Avoiding predatory men from childhood, teenage pregnancies, having to have an abortion and be shunned for it or deal with the mental and physical pain of a miscarriage. Far higher likelihood to be domestically abused, sexually abused, harassed, raped. Getting paid less that your male coworkers. Getting credit taken from you for your own work. Being ignored, spoken over, dismissed. You like sex? Slut. You don’t like sex? Prude. We’re just getting started.
No. The life of an average female is not easy - I think this is why so many women here have tried to escape it. That’s what I tried to do. When we realise that simple escapism will not fix the underlying personal, mental and systemic issues that face women on a daily basis, we detransition.
There’s my two cents. I don’t know what that is in male dollars, and I don’t care to know the exchange rate.