This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "faeriebbxx" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal, detailed medical and emotional experiences with detransition (e.g., specific timelines, drug names, side effects, therapy experiences).
- Internal consistency in their narrative across multiple comments over time.
- Emotional depth and passion, including anger and trauma, which aligns with the stated experiences of many detransitioners.
- Engagement in nuanced conversation, offering support, debating points, and providing specific advice.
The views are strong and controversial, but they are expressed with a personal, lived-experience perspective that is consistent with an authentic detransitioner.
About me
My deep unhappiness started with the trauma of childhood abuse and growing up in an extremist cult. A therapist and online communities encouraged me to transition, but testosterone only made my mental health worse and caused permanent physical changes I regret. I realized the medical system failed me by not addressing my trauma and instead pushing me toward hormones. I've stopped testosterone and now believe my path is to heal from my past and live as a gender non-conforming woman. I'm currently working to reverse the effects of testosterone and find peace in my natural female body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started with a deep unhappiness that I now realize was rooted in trauma. I was sexually abused from a very young age, starting when I was just two years old. This abuse continued for a long time and it completely warped my sense of self and my relationship with my body. I grew up in an extremist Christian cult, which added another layer of shame and confusion. For a long time, I believed my discomfort with being female was just a result of that trauma, but that changed when I started seeing a therapist.
This therapist was trans-affirming and completely dismissed my trauma history. Instead of helping me work through the abuse, they encouraged me to transition. At the time, I was also very isolated and spending a lot of time online, especially after Covid started. I was influenced by the communities I found there and my own OCD and depression made everything feel more intense. I started to believe that transitioning was the only solution to my pain.
I decided to start testosterone. I was on it for six months. At first, I thought it might help, but it quickly made me feel worse. The testosterone felt like it hijacked my mind. It caused massive swings in my hormones and my emotions, making it nearly impossible to think clearly or figure out what I was really feeling. It made me feel disgusting and caused physical changes I wasn't prepared for, like hair thinning and a painful, permanently changed voice. My vocal cords hurt all the time now if I talk too much or try to sing. I also experienced bottom growth, which was very distressing for me.
I realized that the entire medical system, from the online provider I used to the therapists, was just affirming me without any real care. They didn't warn me about the addictive qualities of testosterone or how it could completely alter my psychology. This wasn't informed consent. I felt like a guinea pig with no one looking out for my well-being. I came to understand that there is no real evidence-based care for transition; the research is inconclusive. I stopped testosterone because I saw that I was harming my healthy body, just like my abusers had.
Even though I have gender dysphoria, I don't believe medical transition is the right path for me. It made my OCD worse, made me feel dissociated from the world, and ultimately caused me more distress. I’d rather live as a gender non-conforming woman and work on the root issues behind my dysphoria, which are my trauma and internalized misogyny. I don't believe in gender as anything more than presentation. We have our sex, and we can present however we want.
I have serious regrets about transitioning. I regret ever taking testosterone and the permanent changes it caused to my body, like my voice and the hair loss. I regret that I wasn't given proper therapy to deal with my trauma and was instead encouraged to change my body. I feel like I was failed by the system that was supposed to help me.
Now, I'm focused on healing. I'm about to start a birth control pill to help with my estrogen levels and hopefully shrink the bottom growth from testosterone. I'm trying to be patient as my body changes back. I’ve learned that my female body will naturally balance itself out, and I don't need to alter it with synthetic hormones. I've left the online trans communities because I found them too ideological and not based in reality. I'm trying to find peace with being a woman who doesn't conform to stereotypes, and that's okay.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 2 | First experience of sexual abuse, which continued for many years. |
| ? | Grew up in an extremist Christian cult, which contributed to shame and confusion. |
| ? | Began seeing a therapist who encouraged transition, dismissing my trauma history. |
| ? | Heavily influenced by online communities, especially after Covid isolation began. |
| ? | Started testosterone therapy. |
| ? | Stopped testosterone after 6 months due to negative mental and physical effects. |
| 24 | 4 weeks after stopping T, beginning to see some reversal of changes. |
| 24 | (Present) Planning to start anti-androgenic birth control to help reverse effects of T. |
Top Comments by /u/faeriebbxx:
I am a cisgender woman and I 100000% stand by what I said. Having been raped from as young as 2 years old, the men who claim to know what it’s like to be female are 99% of the time wrong. Of course males can be abused as well, but they are not the targets that the female body is.
I am so fucking sick of this world. Being raped from so young and for so long and by so many men that I almost transitioned fully to be one of them for safety is absolutely insane. We are not the same. Any male who claims to have the same trauma as the female experience because “they are a trans girl” is just so mistakenly and outright wrong that my insides boil over. I was brainwashed into believing that my abuse had nothing to do with my gender dysphoria. Guess what? That was a fucking lie. And although I am lucky to have figured that out, my body will never ever be the same.
I harmed my body just as badly as all the men who raped me, and there is no coincidence in that.
I just fucking hate agab. It’s sex at birth. It’s not assigned. It’s determined by your genitals because that 99% of the time determines your gametes. Penis = sperm. Vagina = ovum. I swear to god that the breakdown of sex is ultimately breaking down sane reality. It’s one of the most fundamental, unchangeable aspects of self. Yet now it’s supposed “nOT bE AssUMeD!!” Fuck. I want to die.
Well it seems pretty clear you are a transbian if you’re taking such offense to this. And also yes, you definitely have not been thru the trauma of someone born female. If you don’t know the difference between that and being born male, you definitely were raised male. Females are sexual objects from the instant their sex is determined. Even in utero. Not ridiculous or gatekeepy. A fact.
That’s upsetting. I grew up in an extremist christian cult and I believe that’s where most of my dysphoria comes from. I said for decades that my dysphoria was just trauma. That was until I got a trans therapist who completely disregarded that and encouraged me to transition at every point they could. So not only have I faced continuous and extreme abuse, then that therapist encouraged me to harm myself because of said abuse. What a horrible outlook on life. Destroy your healthy body over some things that were done to you in the past and because people hate women. Fml.
Hi! You are female. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that if you don’t want it to be. It sounds like you are clear on what you want — being a woman who looks like a man and enjoys feminine things. There’s nothing wrong with being a gnc woman. I no longer trust any of the trans communities online because they seem to be too caught up in ideas rather than reality. It’s a recipe for disaster. At least it was in my case. Have you transitioned or just identify as ftm currently?
It’s not a massive reach. It’s a phenomenon. And trans women who think they are lesbians, aka straight men who are feminine, do not deserve the same treatment as female lesbians. They are not the same. Trans women invading female spaces because they think they ‘deserve’ it is the epitome of male entitlement. Just stop.
Even though I have gender dysphoria, I don’t want to transition. It didn’t help. It made me feel worse about my body. It made me have ocd-like symptoms. It made me feel ill. It dissociated me and left me disconnected from the entire world. I’d rather let my body do its thing and stop trying to alter it all the time. It’s exhausting.
Altering my body in more drastic ways causes me so much distress. And it’s not just from transphobia.
Gender is a psychological thing and there are many psychological experiences on earth. For me personally, I don’t want to alter my body around my psychological experience. At least not to a large degree. But I do have respect for anyone who that works for. We are all different.
I hear how much pain you are in and I’m so sorry. I’ve benefited from sometimes hiding behind a mask when I couldn’t face the world, yet had to work. I think it’s a good idea if it is comforting in some way. You weren’t on T for a the longest time ever. Do you think there’s a chance you could do laser and slowly feminize, if that’s what you would want to do?
You seem to fundamentally misunderstand op. They are speaking about the fact they faced sexual violence in a way that only trans men can face. Because trans men have a female body and male partners see that as a reason to disrespect boundaries, aka misogyny. Of course cis men can have their boundaries violated, however this is inherently different because cis men and trans men are not the same. That is the entire point of this post.
Honestly, I think we should make a female detrans subreddit because many of the men on here like to be hateful and angry at people who are just struggling to get by. These men are insecure and because they are men they take it out by being angry at others. Op obviously meant, this is our space to talk, as in this is detrans ppls space to talk. However, you are not letting them talk by immediately dismissing their female problems as man problems? Weird.