This story is from the comments by /u/femboySong28 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic persona.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative of a male detransitioner (ex-MtF) who transitioned for five years. The writing has emotional depth, internal consistency, and a natural variation in tone and content that is difficult to fake. The user discusses specific, recurring personal themes (e.g., singing as therapy, autism, social isolation, religious awakening) in a way that builds a coherent identity over time. The passion and criticism align with the expected perspective of someone who feels harmed by their transition experience.
About me
I started transitioning to female at 23 because I hated my natural femininity as a man and felt society had no place for me. After five years, I realized I was using transition to escape deep-seated issues like autism and internalized homophobia, and living as a woman became a lonely performance. Getting diagnosed with autism was a major turning point that helped me understand my real struggles. I stopped hormones at 28 and now see myself as a feminine man, finding peace by appreciating my body for what it can do. I finally feel free, accepting that my masculine body and feminine mind don't have to match for me to be whole.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it’s only recently that I’ve found a sense of peace. I lived as a trans woman for five years, from when I was about 23 until I was 28. Now, I’m detransitioned and learning to accept myself as a feminine man.
It all started from a place of deep discomfort. I’ve always been a feminine guy. My interests were in things like art, dance, fashion, and music, and most of my favorite musicians are women. But I wasn’t okay with that part of myself. I hated my own femininity because it felt like society didn’t have a place for a man like me. I think there was a lot of internalized homophobia mixed in there too; I’m gay, or maybe bisexual, and I wasn’t comfortable with that either. I also have autism, though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 27, four years into my transition. That diagnosis was a huge turning point for me. Once I started to understand and treat my autism, a lot of things became clearer.
When I first started taking hormones, there was a period of euphoria. For the first year or two, it felt like I was finally solving the problem. But that feeling didn’t last. Slowly, things got worse. I passed fairly well as a woman, but it became a constant performance. I had to keep up an act 24/7, and it gave me terrible social anxiety. I was always aware that I was different, and I felt like everyone else could tell, too. It was incredibly isolating. Dating was impossible; the only men who were interested were only looking for flings, and no one sane wanted a real relationship with me. The loneliness was a massive factor in my decision to detransition.
Looking back, I see my transition as a form of escapism. I was mentally ill and deeply uncomfortable, and transitioning felt like an escape from reality. I realize now that the feelings of dysphoria were real, but they were a signal of other problems, not a sign that I was born in the wrong body. I had a lot of other issues, including low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. I believe doctors should have been more careful. I was very sick, yet I was allowed to make irreversible decisions. I even had a consultation for an orchiectomy, which terrifies me now to think about. I’m so thankful I never had any surgeries.
What really helped me was a change in perspective. I started focusing on what my body can do instead of how it looks. I picked up singing as a hobby, and it’s become a passion. It helped me accept my voice based on how it feels when I use it to create something beautiful, not on how it sounds to others. I also started skateboarding and going on long walks. Using my body for fun and accomplishment made me appreciate it in a new way. I learned that it’s okay for my mind to be feminine and my body to be masculine. They don’t have to match perfectly for me to be whole. In fact, accepting that mismatch is what finally made me feel whole.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s fluid, and it’s okay to be who you are naturally. Being trans is real, but I think it’s rare. For most people, including me, the better path is self-acceptance. Strict gender roles and misogyny are a big part of the problem. I also can’t ignore that there’s a monetary incentive for companies to sell hormones and surgeries, which worries me.
I do have some regrets about transitioning. I regret the time I lost and the permanent changes from the hormones, like developing small breasts that I now have to live with. But I don’t dwell on it. The experience led me to where I am now, and I feel stronger for it. A big part of my healing was also becoming religious. Finding God helped guide me back to myself. He speaks to me through my intuition, and that guidance made me realize that being my natural self was the right path.
Now, I just see myself as a man. A feminine, gender non-conforming man, but a man. I don’t feel the need to make it more complicated than that. Life is about connection with others, and now that I’m radiating self-acceptance, my relationships are better. My relationship with my teenage brother improved almost instantly when I started being my natural self around him. I finally feel free.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 23 | I started taking hormones and began living as a woman. |
| 27 | I was diagnosed with autism. This was a major catalyst for questioning my transition. |
| 28 | I stopped taking hormones and began detransitioning. This was about three years ago from when I was writing these comments. |
| 28 (present) | I am living as a masculine-bodied, feminine-minded man and focusing on self-acceptance through hobbies like singing and skateboarding. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/femboySong28:
Thank you for sharing this. It's a really important narrative that I'm sure others here can relate to. I was on hormones for 5 years, thankfully didnt get any surgeries (though i did get a consult for an orchiectomy, which terrifies me). Over the past year and especially past month i questioned it all, and now I'm done with it. Back to the real, natural me. It's so easy to get sucked into it. It's like a way to escape reality. Im glad youve accepted yourself. I hope you can forgive yourself, too. I dont think any of us here would have much problem forgiving you. I def relate to the misogyny stuff. I am fem gay/bi? man, though i feel genderqueer too. And ive realized that's OK. And hormones just made things worse for me. Acceptance is so much better. Stay strong ❤
I totally agree. The groupthink has gotten ridiculous. My best friend is trans, and i can no longer discuss the experience with him because if i ask him to understand, he says i am hurting him and trying to change him. Even though gender transition for me was sort of traumatic.
The whole trans phenomenon is very cult like. The fact people who speak out are being canceled should be a red flag...
Thanks for venting. You're always welcome here. It's so tough to be detrans right now. But i do believe it will get better in the coming years.
💔 i can definitely empathize. I had a similar realization after passing and trying to date for 5 years while transitioned and passing fairly well and it being utterly impossible to find anyone. All the activism in the world can't fix the loneliness. The best advice i can give is focus on improving yourself, and building skills that help you form community. There are definitely men out there who truly love and want to partner up with trans women. But they are rare, and probably bisexual.
Yeah... it's like our experience threatens their ideology and makes them question their own choice. If this were a debate about, like, which weight loss method worked for me, no one would get angry when i bring up what works for me kuz everyone is different. But it's like deep down they know it's bs.
And i say that emathetically ofc, kuz i used to be trans too, obviously.
Wow. I had never considered the gender aspect of cults... that's so fucking creepy and uncanny, because you are right, in my opinion.
I found out the hard way that some/lots of people just won't accept trans women as women. And well, i realized it was their right to do that. It's not my place to police someone's perception. that realization is part of why i detransitioned.
My advice would be to find some sort of physical hobby, like singing, dancing, a sport, skateboarding, whatever - something where you use your body to have fun. This way you'll gradually learn to love your body for what it does, rather than how it looks. I was on hrt for 5 years, focusing on appearing as a woman. It alleviated my dysphoria temporarily. But then it gave me constant social, and it was isolating. Now im living as a man again, a feminine one, but ive taken up singing and skateboarding, and now i don't care as much about my body matching my mind because ive fallen in love with how my body works and makes me feel. It will take time. And hormones can work for a select few. But for the vast majority of us there are much more wholistic options. Being who you are physically and mentally is perfectly ok! And when you radiate that self-acceptance, other people notice, and you find real connection, which is what life is all about ❤
I completely agree. I was a feminine man before i transitioned, and i wasnt accepting my femininity. Now I've accepted things, and thank God i didnt get any surgeries, and i feel so much better. The strict gender roles i think are more of the problem. Misogyny as well. And well, there is a monetary incentive to sell people hormones that i can't ignore, either.
I totally feel your frustration. I was dx'd with autism a year ago, at 27, 4 years into my transition. Changed mt life. Now that im treating the autism, i feel cool with being my natural boy self again. Not the only reason ofc. But the dx was the catalyst for a lot of positive changes.
You are 100% welcome to seek support here. Peace ✌
Questioning yourself and your gender is very normal. The self is fluid. Acknowledge your thoughts and discomforts, know they are valid. But also know there are multiple ways to move forward into happiness.
Being trans is real, but it's rare. Accepting that you are ok just as you are, even when you feel mismatched, is so healing. It might take time. Took me 28 years, including 5 years of living as a woman (i am ex-mtf). But now i feel whole. I am a feminine man, and that is ok. Just as you are ok as a masculine girl. Experiment. Explore. Wait. Hormones should be a last resort. Also therapy might be beneficial.
I cannot speak from a woman's perspective. But from my experience detransitioning and from what ive heard from other women, i advise you to think about why you feel uncomfortable with your female body. Specifically about how much of that discomfort comes from this culture of mysogyny.
I am feminine man. My interests lie in art, dance, fashion, and music. Most of my favorite musicians are female. I love the sensitivity of their lyrics, the softness of their souls. I love feminine clothing. But I've realized a lot of my discomfort has come from living in a world where I'm not appreciated. So i learned to appreciate myself. It's an ongoing process, for sure. And i dont present femme in public. But i sing. My lyrics are thoughtful and earnest. Society doesn't say it's ok for a man to be like i am. But that doesn't mean that's the truth.
Transitioning isn't the only solution to gender dysphoria. You may never use your body to raise a child. But it's your body. And it can do so much. You can be a martial artist. You can be a masculine woman. My alto singing range will never sound as soft and light as a female's, just as you may never be as strong as a man. But that doesn't make your strength wrong, ya know??? It's just different! You don't have to be the strongest to enjoy martial arts. im gay, so i will never use my genitals to impregnante someone. But i can still use my body as a way to express love. Just as you can use yours. You are so much more than a sexual object. You are more than your ability to produce life. And accepting your body for those things and all else it can do can feel even better than making irreversible changes and being on hormones forever. Like, do you want to take injections 1 - 2 times a week for the next 50 years?? Thing about that deeply.