This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The user shares detailed, nuanced, and emotionally charged personal experiences with multiple transitions and detransitions, ideological shifts, and specific struggles like dysphoria and social rejection. This complexity and the raw, conversational tone are strong indicators of a real person.
About me
I started transitioning at 20 not because of my body, but because I got swept up in gender politics and felt I had to pick a side. My identity was never my own; it always changed based on whatever ideology I believed in at the time. Taking hormones didn't fix my deep discomfort and actually made me feel worse, so I finally stopped for good to focus on my health. I lost friends who only valued me when I agreed with them, which taught me a hard lesson. Now, I'm learning to live with my discomfort and build a stable sense of self, free from anyone else's expectations.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been long and complicated, and honestly, pretty confusing. I’ve transitioned and detransitioned twice now. It all started for me not because of body issues, but because I got really deep into gender politics. I felt like I had to pick a side, and that led me to identify as trans for the first time. Later, I detransitioned because I got into radical feminism and felt that was the "right" way to think. My identity was always tied to whatever ideology I was invested in at the time, and that was a mostly negative experience. Whenever I started to see the cracks in the ideology, my sense of self would get really shaky.
I’ve come to realize that gender is just stereotypes. It’s a flawed idea that society pushes on us. For me, the discomfort with my sex has been a constant since I was a kid, and it never went away, no matter what I did. Taking testosterone or stopping it didn’t fix it. In some ways, the things I did during transition, like taking hormones, made my dysphoria even worse. I finally realized that if it wasn’t going to resolve anything, why keep damaging my body? I decided to stop and just try to learn to live with the discomfort and focus on reclaiming my health.
A huge part of my struggle was that I never had a strong sense of self. I now know this is a real thing people talk about, and it described me perfectly. I would even pick up accents from characters I was obsessed with in movies or shows because I had nothing solid to ground myself in. This lack of identity made me really vulnerable to outside influences.
My sexuality also got all mixed up in this. When I was living as a trans man, I felt like I could only be attracted to men and never to women. Then, when I detransitioned, I felt like I could only be attracted to women and not men. The truth is, I’m probably some variety of bisexual, but the idea of being in a straight relationship or having a heterosexual crush is embarrassing to me. I know other people who have felt this same way; lesbians who transitioned to male and then identified as gay men. It’s like my orientation changed depending on what gender I was presenting as.
Losing friends was one of the hardest parts. When I detransitioned the first time, I lost all of my trans and queer friends. It felt like my existence was only valuable to them as long as I affirmed everything they believed. The moment my identity changed in a way they didn't like, I was dropped. That showed me it wasn’t true friendship.
I don’t have any serious health complications from taking testosterone, but I do worry about falling back into using it. When my energy is low, I feel like it’s a real risk, so I know I need a solid plan to avoid that. I don’t regret exploring my gender because I learned a lot about myself, but I do regret letting ideologies and other people’s opinions dictate my choices for so long. There’s peace in finally trying to do what’s best for me, regardless of politics, social pressure, or anything else.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
Childhood | Constant feeling of discomfort with my sex begins. |
20 | First transition (FTM), influenced by gender politics ideology. Began taking testosterone. |
23 | First detransition, influenced by radical feminist ideology. Stopped testosterone. |
25 | Second transition (FTM). Resumed testosterone. |
27 | Second and final detransition. Stopped testosterone permanently to focus on health. |
28 | Present day, learning to live with dysphoria and build a stable sense of self. |
Top Comments by /u/fingerhorns:
I know it’s just a snapshot of a moment & not intended to be read into but I just wanted to share that looking at these pictures I see uncertainty in pic 1 (on T) and security and fierceness in pic 2!
How cool our body’s ability to endure and bring us back to ourselves!
Fuck them! I am so tired of people preaching authenticity up until the point that your authentic self conflicts with their ideology/perception of the world/whatever! “Everyone should be live their truth but my truth not your own!” 🙄
You have every right to exist, share your story and give and receive compassion in your close relationships...the same as everyone else! This experience seems to be the norm. I lost all trans/queer friends when I detransed the first time. Like my existence was only valuable if I affirmed everything they thought about the world.. so when my identity changed in a way they didn’t like, I was no longer worthy. That’s not true friendship.
Yes, gender/sex dysphoria has been a constant for me since childhood. It has never gone away with detransition or transition and was sometimes made worse by measures I took during transition. So I figure why continue to damage my body if it’s not gonna resolve anything. Might as well learn to live with it and reclaim my health.
Totally agree with your take- it was so different before! Even just a decade ago!
There’s still plenty of folks today with the too-different-to-be-my-biological-sex experience but most are in cultures/families/etc that are still conservative or something adjacent. In most western cultures where LGBT+ identities are largely accepted today, it now seems to be more about being special. Thus the truscum vs transtrender reality.
At the end of the day, gender = stereotypes. It totally is a flawed idea fed into by greater society.
I had an ideology fueled first transition (gender politics) and first detransition (radical feminist). Of course, followed by a second transition and second detransition lol
From personal experience, I just wanted to share that my linking trans identity to whatever ideology I’m invested in has been a mostly negative experience because when you start to see the cracks within the ideology (which I believe is present in EVERY ideology! None are perfect) then you begin to feel shaky in your identity. I’m still radfem but I have found freedom in separating my belief systems from my trans/detrans/etc status. There is peace in doing whatever is best for YOU at any given time regardless of politic, religion, social pressures, etc.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I pick up accents from whatever I’m listening to/watching, too. If I’m obsessing over a character it just tends to be all of the media I’m consuming for that period of time.
I think you and others are correct about the no sense of self. I’ve done a bit of reading and it’s to a T.
I’m glad to hear you’re not struggling with this particular issue now! Did it go away naturally for you over time? Do you feel like you developed more of a sense of self which may have quieted this particular habit?
Yes, I deal with the same exact feeling!!! When I was an ftm I felt like I could only be attracted to men and never women. When detransitioned I feel like I can only be attracted to women and not men. I am actually some variety of bisexual but cringe at the idea of being in a straight relationship or if I have a heterosexual crush. It’s embarrassing! Also, during transition I knew many lesbians that transitioned to male and became “gay men” ... Thank you for sharing your experience and just know you are not alone in this!
Thank you for your reply! I really appreciate you sharing your experience.. As for your question - that’s where I find myself stuck. My main concern is that once I feel low energy I will just fall back into T use. No question about it. So I really need an action plan.