This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal, detailed narratives about their own detransition (e.g., timeline, therapy, vocal training).
- Consistent perspective over a 4-year period, offering empathetic, nuanced advice to others.
- Emotional depth and self-reflection, including discussing struggles with OCD and self-image, which is consistent with a genuine lived experience.
- No scripted or repetitive language; each response is tailored to the specific post it replies to.
About me
I started transitioning to male in my late teens because I thought it was the solution to my deep unhappiness and self-hatred. After years on testosterone, therapy helped me see my transition was an escape from underlying mental health issues, not their cure. I realized my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with myself, and I began to detransition. It was a difficult process that affected my voice and took years of healing. Now, six years later, I'm at peace as a woman and have finally learned to accept myself.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it started from a place of deep unhappiness with myself. I didn't just wake up one day and decide I was trans; it built up over time from a lot of different issues I wasn't dealing with. I had crippling anxiety, depression, and very low self-esteem. I now also recognize that I have OCD, which made me obsess over finding a perfect, single solution to all my problems, and that solution became transitioning.
I hated my body, especially my breasts. I picked apart hundreds of tiny things I didn't like, and for a long time, I excused it all as "it's because they're female parts." I thought all my discomfort was because I was a woman and that if I could just change that, everything would be better. I now see that was a form of escapism. I was running from myself and from a lot of internalized pain. I was heavily influenced by online communities that affirmed this idea without encouraging me to look deeper.
I socially transitioned and lived as a man for several years. I even took testosterone. I put a huge amount of effort into "passing," like spending weeks doing vocal training to make my voice sound deeper and more masculine. I was convinced this was my true self.
But the feelings didn't go away. The underlying problems were still there. What really helped me was therapy—a lot of it. I went through several therapists before I found one who took a completely neutral stance. She didn't push me to continue or to stop; she just gave me the space to honestly explore my feelings without any outside agenda. That was the key. I had to ditch the term "gender dysphoria" and instead use precise words to describe each specific discomfort. When I did that, I was shocked to discover how deep my self-hatred went. It wasn't about gender; it was about me not liking me.
I realized that a lot of my feelings were also tangled up with being a lesbian. For example, I had thought that wanting to have a penis to make sex more enjoyable meant I was trans, but I learned that's a feeling many lesbians experience and it doesn't define your gender.
Detransitioning was a difficult process. For a long time after, maybe a year and a half, I couldn't scream or sing, which was devastating because singing was my main emotional release. It’s been about six years now, and my voice has healed a lot; I can sing again, even if I can't hit some of the very high notes I used to. My mom says she can't tell the difference in my voice anymore. My OCD also latched onto my detransition, and I'd spend hours every day obsessively trying to figure out if I was "really a girl." I had to learn that identity isn't about finding a perfect label. Now, I define myself by other things: I'm a paralegal, I graduated top of my class, I'm a loving and patient person.
I don't have regrets about my journey because it led me to where I am now, which is a place of much greater self-understanding and peace. But I do regret not exploring my other mental health issues more deeply before making permanent changes. I benefited enormously from non-affirming therapy that helped me get to the root of my problems. My thoughts on gender now are that it's not the simple solution it's often made out to be. For me, it was a distraction from the real work of learning to accept myself. I'm comfortable presenting as female now, and I'm still finding new things I love about being a woman. The obsession with gender has finally faded, and I forget it ever happened most of the time.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Began to socially transition to male. |
| 20 | Started testosterone. Began intense vocal training to masculinize my voice. |
| 23 | Began a new type of therapy focused on root causes, not gender affirmation. |
| 24 | Stopped testosterone and began the process of detransitioning. |
| 24 | Regained the ability to sing and scream after about 1.5 years of my voice healing. |
| 30 | Now (6 years detransitioned), comfortable and at peace with myself as a female. |
Top Comments by /u/fresh-taco:
It’s not something to talk about when she’s already upset. This process is already going to be very upsetting. It’s also not something to hint at.
“I am really scared for you. I see you walking down a path that you don’t want to go down, and you’ve all but told me you don’t. I’m really scared for your safety, because you are very close to permanent decisions. Regardless of outcome this will be traumatizing for you” etc.
You know her better than I do. Make it open that she may possibly still be transgender so she doesn’t feel backed into a corner. But you need to express exactly what you are seeing. It’s going to be really hard, but your friend is in crisis. If laws were different I would consider intervention, the emotional state she is in with the drastic decision she is about to make, this is crisis.
Give it time. I know that’s the most frustrating advice but genuinely it takes time. I’ve been detransitioned 5 years and only my OB knows. I would just give myself some time to explore being comfortable rather than transitioning the other direction. The changes will come once you stop looking for them, I promise. Right now you need to focus on taking care of yourself
Woohoo! You go girl! This is why I’m on this sub! I feel the same way. I’m 6 years detrans and I’m still finding new things I love about being a woman. You will continue to feel this content as long as you keep doing what you’re doing. Keep making these hard decisions that help you in the long run 🏃♀️
I appreciate what you’ve been through, however this is a place for people who are detransitioning. We’re trying to detach from all of the social stigma of being trans or detransitioning. You’ll find a lot of people here aligned with your beliefs, however it’s going to shame many more people who are here for help. Perhaps you’d find more community on a feminist or political subreddit. I hope you and your family stay well
It happens, I can’t talk the way I did when I was on T anymore. I did a lot of vocal training so I’m not sure if it was hormonal or just not using that range.
Some comforting science: singers can always train to go higher, but they can’t train lower. Basically, there’s no limit to how much you can raise your voice using natural or altered vocal cords. It takes time, think of it like extreme flexibility training.
My mom has told me she can’t tell the difference anymore. I feel like I can, but she’s so nit picky and can’t hear it. There’s hope ❤️
It took me a year and a half to be able to scream again. It was so scary not being able to scream! I’m 6 years detrans and I can sing again :) singing used to be my only release so it’s nice to have it back. I still can’t hit some of the notes I used to (didn’t realize before it was too late I was hitting whistle notes!!) but it’s back. I’m sure if I found a good vocal coach I could sing better than before.
Give yourself some time for your vocal cords to heal! Give yourself some time to bass your life around things that don’t relate to gender. My detransition got so much easier once I got distracted from it.
I also have OCD and for probably a year after I started to detrans I’d spend hours upon hours each day trying to figure out if I’m a girl. My solution is that my OCD makes me frantically search for perfect solutions that don’t exist. Now I let my identity be structured by other things- I’m a paralegal, graduated top of my class, I’m a really loving person, I’m more patient and forgiving than other people. Identity is also about knowing yourself. When you’re young identity IS labels, but as a fully grown women, I don’t know any adults who treat identity that way.
Lastly! Please talk to a therapist! I’ve never had a therapist judge me for it. The one I had during it got to know me really well and saved my life! She guided me through detransiton and body neutrality. The therapists I’ve had since already understood once I told them because they knew me. If a therapist reacts badly, they have no business being a therapist. It’s the whole job!
Sorry for the long winded response, I just really feel for you. My DMs are open if you need advice or someone to talk to
Honestly and truly I don't see anything about your neck that looks different from any other woman's. I know when you look right at it it might seem in your head to be really big but it really looks truly normal. T might have made it bigger than it used to be but it is completely in the normal female range. Without any context if I just saw your neck I'd know you're female and wouldn't have any inclination that you were on T (which I only know from tour post history). Something I do to deal with body dysmorphia (I believe that's what this is as I cannot see what you're seeing while staring right at it) is to look into my eyes in the mirror instead of at the "flaw". That is the way basically everyone will be looking at you. I guarantee you won't be able to even see it when looking into your eyes
A lot of these rules/guides seem very arbitrary to me
I played with dinosaurs and blocks as a kid - why? Because I have cool parents that saw I was transfixed with a dino documentary and got me dollar store dinos - causing a fixation that lasted a long time
I hate the idea of shaving, having long hair, even often hate the way my breasts look. When I talk to trans people about my feelings they ALWAYS try to "crack" me. You may have a lot in common with trans people, they are also LGBTQ!
Jeffree star and James Charles both say they only like straight men. Preferences exist, that's why dynamics exist. Some women prefer feminine men but that doesn't mean they're secretly lesbians
I think a large reason you feel so envious of the women in movies is because where is the queer content like that? The storybook happy ending romances between two men? There aren't! I think you are doing well by meeting gay men and seeing what a broad spectrum real queer people come in.
I want to add that I'm not sure it would be easier to date as a trans woman than as a gay man. I have found it easier dating as a lesbian than as a trans man. I have heard so many stories of trans women being secrets, being humiliated in public by partners, being fetishized, and being abused. It happens in all types of relationships but it is very prevalent for transgender women
Think about this - you are considering changing your entire self to attract a different kind of person. How is what you're doing now living a lie? I feel like what I read about you identifying as male sounded more healing and grounded, whereas you use more panicked and worried language when talking about being female. It sounds like the trans identity is making you doubt who you are rather than find yourself
I should have said girly advice. I mention in the post that you don't need any of those things to be a woman so I think its cherry picking to say that this whole post is saying women have to be feminine. I see how it could have been worded better in 2 places and I have done my best to fix it. I still don't think that is worth a report. You dont have to be ultra femme to have a period or want to fix your acne. The word basic is more to imply that this is all basic knowledge that isn't too hard to find out. I'm not teaching about a 17 step skincare or complex makeup, just basic stuff. Saying "got this girl thing figured out" was jokey and not meant to be read as "all girls do this" when I clearly stated that not all women do.
Yeah I feel the part about reintroducing. Its why I feel so upset when people say I was "never really trans". If I wanted to destroy all of my progress I would surround myself with that community again and I know I would feel the same way all over again. I sometimes still catch myself romanticizing transition.