This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's story is highly detailed, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over a long period (2021-2023). They describe a complex, decade-long journey involving specific medical treatments (Nebido, hysterectomy), evolving self-perception, trauma, and mental health struggles (BPD, CPTSD). The narrative includes the kind of contradictions, regrets, and gradual realizations typical of a genuine, painful lived experience. The passion and anger present are consistent with the harm and stigma faced by detransitioners.
About me
I started identifying as a trans man at 19 because it seemed to explain my discomfort with puberty and my body. I was on testosterone for seven years and had surgeries, but I never felt like myself and developed serious health issues. I eventually realized my transition was a way to escape from past trauma and internalized misogyny. I stopped hormones and am now living as a woman again, dealing with my regrets in therapy. I feel more at peace now, understanding my dysphoria was a symptom of deeper problems I'm finally facing.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition has been long and complicated. I started identifying as a trans man when I was 19, after I googled "sex change" and everything suddenly seemed to click. I was a tomboy, had dressed masculine since I was 15, hated my name, and had mostly male friends. Puberty was really hard for me; I had major anxiety about my breasts, my periods, and my body shape. I was bullied for my appearance, and it felt like being trans explained everything.
I lived socially as a man for the first three years without any medical changes and was completely sure it was what I wanted. I started testosterone at 22 and was on it for seven years. About two years into taking T, I developed severe pain from endometriosis that was inflamed by the hormones. I was forced to have a full hysterectomy, which left me without any natural hormones of my own. I also had top surgery, a decision I now deeply regret.
For a long time, I was waiting. I kept thinking that once I looked more masculine, grew a beard, or had all the surgeries, I would finally feel like myself and the feeling of waiting would be over. But that day never came. Even after I was passing well as a man, I still felt stuck. I never looked in the mirror and saw myself; it was like I was always waiting to become someone else.
The longer I was on testosterone, the more health problems I had. I started losing my hair, my blood work looked terrible, and my doctors were concerned. I had constant acne, my face was puffy, and I had joint and muscle pains. I developed sleep apnea. My body odor was strong, and I was always hot and sweaty. I felt a constant, out-of-control sex drive that disgusted me. My ADHD symptoms got worse, and I struggled to concentrate.
Socially, things also became harder. I started to feel like I was taking up too much space, especially around women. I became careful not to talk about things I knew well, like periods, because I was afraid they'd see me as a creep. I stopped dating completely because I felt "half-finished" and unattractive. The vaginal atrophy from testosterone made sex painful.
I began to seriously question things around the five-year mark of my transition. The intense gender dysphoria I initially had was gone, but I didn't know I could stop. I felt like I had no other choice but to keep going. I even reframed my identity as a nonbinary person for a while, but that didn't help either.
The turning point came when I found online detransition communities and resources like The Honesty Project on YouTube. It was like a light switch flipped. For the first time, I understood that my decision to transition was deeply connected to my mental health. I have a history of childhood trauma, familial abuse, and bullying. I now believe I have traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), including a distorted self-image, impulsive behaviors, and dissociation. Transitioning became a form of escapism, a way to put my life "on hold" and try to become a completely new person to escape my past.
I realized that a lot of my feelings stemmed from internalized misogyny. Growing up surrounded by men, I developed a low view of women and wanted to distance myself from that. I confused appreciating masculine aesthetics with wanting to be a man. I also think that my trauma and possible neurodivergent traits made me obsess over gender and see it in a very black-and-white way.
I stopped testosterone in October 2021, after my last Nebido shot. Because I'd had a hysterectomy, I had to start on estrogen supplements a few months later. It’s been a process. My body has changed back faster than I expected. My face became less puffy, my skin cleared up, and my body shape softened a bit. My voice is a little lighter. I started laser hair removal for my beard. Surprisingly, people started reading me as female again within a few months, even though I still have a deep voice and no breasts.
I absolutely regret my medical transition, especially the top surgery. I sometimes feel like I have phantom limb sensations for my breasts. I grieve for the person I was and the permanent changes I made. However, I don't regret detransitioning for a second. I feel more calm and connected to myself now. I’m finally dealing with my trauma in therapy instead of running from it.
I’ve come to understand that I am a lesbian, and I'm slowly learning to connect with other women and find safety and belonging with them. Letting go of the safety that looking like a man provided has been hard, but it's worth it to live truthfully.
I want to be clear that I did experience very real gender dysphoria for many years. But for me, it was a symptom of deeper issues, not a cause. My advice to anyone questioning is to pursue what brings you genuine happiness right now, without rushing. There is no time limit to figure yourself out.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15 | Started dressing in a masculine style. |
| 19 | First learned about transition online; began identifying as a trans man and living socially as male. |
| 22 | Started testosterone (Nebido injections). |
| 24 | Severe endometriosis pain forced a full hysterectomy. |
| 26 | Had top surgery. |
| 27 | Began to question my male identity, started identifying as nonbinary. |
| 29 | Started therapy and first voiced regret about my physical transition. |
| 29 | Stopped testosterone (October 2021). |
| 30 | Started estrogen supplements (early 2022). Began the social process of detransitioning. |
| 31 | Continued living as a detransitioned female, ongoing therapy and healing. |
Top Comments by /u/frostedmoz:
I was a person like this, trying to figure out why it was so hard living trans a lot of the time. Asked many people through the years if they ever had doubts and so many of them said they didn't like being socially read as male or some aspect of medical transition (bad top surgery results, didn't like being so hairy etc) and lots of people saying it's normal to feel like it and with time it'll go away. I feel like a majority of trans nowadays are just ticking out until they regret enough to do soemthing about it. A ton of people stop taking T or move to being nonbinary instead of male already.
Honestly they sound like an asshole and that's probably most what you'll get from associating with ftms from now on tbh so I wouldn't recommend it :/ the world view can be warped to the extent that they can't see outside the very narrow viewpoint and will invalidate your experiences just to make them feel better. What they said says more about them than about you and you should not entertain this discussion in your mind if you can help it.
As someone who went the long way and regrets it: if you like yourself now, especially that you're a woman, lesbian and liking your body as it is, I can't help but feel that this may not be something you'd want in longer term. Pronouns, a new name and new wardrobe are things that are fun and interesting when you begin, but they won't carry for long. If anything, it's good to figure out how you would feel if six to ten years went by from now and you came to regret hormones and surgery (if that's what you were planning), how you'd manage having the permanent changes that alter the way you are for good. Also as someone who got multiple medical issues from t, I cannot recommend hormone therapy to anyone who doesn't explicitly need it. I wish I stopped sooner (I was on t for 8 years).
Thank you for sharing your story. I medically transitioned for a long time so I don't share some of what you've experienced with desisting, and am only halfway out the closet with the whole thing, but a lot in your story still resonate with the memories of how I was when I was younger and pursued transition.
Your post gives me so much hope. I'm also seven years on t, waiting for the last Nebido to leave my system (and that will be a while.. Up to six months, I've read). Most stop so much earlier it's hard to grasp how we can look like. I'm glad to see how happy and well you look.
Many people have given really good advice, so I'm just going to say I'm proud of you and that you can go through this. You are the one who lives in your body, your life is your own and others will have to accommodate that if they want to be a part of that. If your family accepted you as trans, they will absolutely accept you desisting. You're in a really important time of your life developmentally and I'm happy that you are feeling better about yourself, its absolutely normal to have internal conflict now and later in your teens. You will be loved no matter what.
You are free to explore who you are outside of the bounds of what it means to be a man or a woman, and there is no time limit or rush for you to decide anything. Pursue the things that bring you genuine happiness right now and where you feel good about yourself. I think the answers will come to you with time when you have the space to truly listen to yourself outside of what others expect or think of you.
Until now you've been approached by women who like masculine women. This won't be your dating pool in the future. I went into transition fully thinking that among other things, it would be easier to date women as a man. I ended up not dating anyone cause the dynamic felt off, I grew to dislike my appearance (you don't stay butch forever, at some point you'll get balder, hairier, likely fatter and look like a 40yo dad in your late 20s) and it felt like I was lying even when the people I tried to date already knew I was trans. It's not worth it.
I used to have a majority of male friends and therefore very chauvinist views of women, which only further alienated me to the point of transition. I grew up with men in my family, and my mom a bootlicker to them. It's honestly no wonder I saw no good in myself or others with that background, and what you said makes it even more apparent.
Now I have just amazing women as friends who are all so different, and being with them must have been a part of what moved me towards detransing in the end. The sense of safety and belonging I have around them is healing.
I hope you have an amazing day today ❤️
It's now my tenth and last year living as a man (started detransition Oct last year, need to wait a year to change gender marker) and I genuinely think if there had been more info accessible to me it would have happened years ago. It's hard to say for certain though, cause living as male was a coping mechanism too and fairly effective before I got into therapy two years ago. One of the first things I said there was expressing regret, and then I didn't talk about it for 1,5 years at all. Coming to this conclusion was so difficult and I'm still dealing with it. It would be much easier if there was more support and less hiding, I only heard about detrans people in very negative light and wasn't open minded enough to make my own research. More people will detrans in the future that is absolutely certain, I just hope they'll find the resources and know they're not alone. I expressed many difficult feelings and regrets to other trans people and everyone told me to ignore it or wait it out, I don't think they knew better either.