This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments show a consistent, emotionally nuanced narrative of personal struggle with detransition, social isolation, and internal conflict. The language is natural, with varied sentence structures and personal reflections that evolve over time, which is difficult to fake consistently. The account expresses a viewpoint common in the detrans community, including anger and criticism of gender ideology, which aligns with the expected passion and pain of the experience.
About me
I started testosterone right after high school because I was deeply uncomfortable with my female body and wanted to escape being sexualized. After eight months, I quit because of health risks and the exhausting effort of trying to pass as male. I lost friends who couldn't accept my detransition, which has been very isolating. Now I understand my feelings came from internalized misogyny, not from being male. I've found peace by living as a woman who doesn't conform to stereotypes and by focusing on things that make me happy.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition started when I was really young and just felt deeply uncomfortable with myself. I never liked the changes that came with female puberty, especially developing breasts. I hated the sexual attention they brought and just wanted to be free from that feeling. I think a lot of my feelings were tied up in not wanting to be seen in a sexual way and wanting to escape the beauty standards placed on women.
When I was 18, right after I graduated high school, I started testosterone through informed consent. I was legally an adult, but looking back, I was so young and impressionable. I was on T for about eight months. During that time, my blood thickened a lot, which put me at a higher risk for blood clots even at my age. That was a big wake-up call for me, on top of just feeling exhausted by the entire process of trying to pass as male. I realized I didn't want to be on medication for the rest of my life.
I decided to stop T cold turkey. It was a hard decision because I had invested so much into this identity, but I knew it wasn't right for me. After I quit, I began to identify as a cis woman again. My voice had dropped and I grew more body hair, which are changes I still live with today. Over time, some of the hair growth lessened and became less coarse, especially with using things like an epilator regularly.
A huge part of my transition was influenced by what I saw online. I was surrounded by communities that strongly affirmed that transitioning was the only path and that regret was extremely rare. I believed that completely and didn't want to think it could happen to me. Now I see that isn't true at all, and it breaks my heart to see so many other young people going down that same path, especially girls who just want to be able to swim shirtless or escape being sexualized.
I don’t regret my transition because it led me to where I am now, but I do regret the physical changes and the time I lost. My thoughts on gender have changed a lot. I think most of my desire to transition came from a place of internalized misogyny and a struggle with self-esteem, not from a true internal sense of being male. I just wanted to be seen as a person, not as a woman. Now, I see that I can be a woman without conforming to any stereotypes. I dress mostly in men’s clothes and present in a way that feels natural to me, without thinking much about gender at all. It’s a huge weight off my shoulders.
One of the hardest parts of detransitioning has been the social isolation. I lost friends because they were so deeply invested in trans ideology that they couldn’t understand my choice to detransition. It’s been difficult to meet people my age who aren’t heavily into that mindset. I often feel like I have to hide my beliefs to be accepted, which feels dishonest. I also get anxiety in public restrooms now because my voice is deeper, and I worry about how people will perceive me.
I’ve found a lot of peace by just focusing on living my life and not agonizing over my appearance or how others see me. I try to put my energy into hobbies and things that make me happy. The process has taught me not to care as much about external validation, which has been really freeing.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started testosterone on the day of my high school graduation. |
| 18 | Was on testosterone for 8 months. Quit cold turkey due to health concerns (blood thickening) and personal realizations. |
| 19 | Began identifying as a cis woman again and started the process of social detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/ftmconfusedashell:
You sound like a tomboy. Being a masculine woman is pretty cool. : )
And I'm sure you've heard it a lot, but you're very young, you've got lots of time to experiement with styles and learn more about yourself. I think it's very mature of you to want to look at the situation from more than one perspective.
I truly mean this in the kindest way possible, but those that identify as trans are very often struggling mentally and are therefore easier to manipulate. Def keep that in mind when you encounter people who seem to be chasing after trans people specifically...
To me, it sounds like you want to live as a woman without the burden of feeling sexualized or fitting certain standards. That's completely fair. That's why a lot of us were drawn to transition.
Ask yourself why having larger breasts bothered you. Was it because of the way others perceived you? Or was it for reasons entirely seperate?
Start small. You could try slowly incorporating more feminine things into your outfits or growing out your hair if either of those interest you. But there's nothing that says you have to, either. You already are a woman, you just have to find a way you're comfortable presenting.
If you do make small changes over time your family may approach you to ask about how you identify or you may have to approach them yourself. It is uncomfortable but your family loves you and wants the best for you, they will understand even if they do seem frustrated initially.
I feel so incredibly lonely. If anyone has any advice or wants to share their experience please, please say something. I seriously don't feel like I can make meaningful connections anymore because of this.
When I meet a new person, especially someone around my age, I get a pit in my stomach thinking about how they'd probably think less of me if they knew I was detrans and held these beliefs. And the other side of the coin is that I feel sick tricking these people into thinking I'm on their side when I'm not, it feels so wrong.
Edit: If anyone would like to PM I would be happy to.
Hi, I think it's great that you're looking for feedback. I have seen therapists in the past but I did not see a therapist during my transition or detransition, due to cost, though I wish I could have. Because of this, I understand if my perspective isn't quite what you're looking for, but I'd still like to share my thoughts if you'll have them. : )
What jumps out to me right away is that you said this client is a teenager, putting them anywhere between 13-19 years old. In my experience I have never heard of a person getting bottom surgery this early in their life. If they are 18 or older, I believe they should have the freedom to make their own choices, though this still concerns me heavily. Bottom surgery complications are very serious and more common than most people think.
Now, the best way to go about addressing this... I'm not sure. But I can give you some topics to consider discussing. I think it would be helpful to discuss with them why they feel they need this, that way you are able to find and deconstruct the motivation behind their transition/desire to get bottom surgery. Many times this will get met with "because I know it's right for me, I know I am a man/woman, etc", but there is always a deeper reasoning than this. A vast majority of trans-identified individuals have experienced sexual trauma and/or have motivations to transition that are misogynistic in nature, whether intentional or not. Another factor to consider is they may desire to be gender non-conforming but feel they cannot for a multitude of reasons (safety, fear of judgement, etc). So many transition stories begin with children who felt wrong for enjoying toys and activities typically associated with the opposite sex. Perhaps offering the perspective that there are many happy gender non-conforming people out there could be helpful.
I would be happy to delve into these topics more or provide clarification if needed. This is not an easy conversation to navigate and I feel for you. I wish you the best of luck, OP, and I appreciate you taking the time to hear our voices.
I quit cold turkey and never followed up with my doctor, but I was also taking a small dose. Chances are you will feel pretty crappy whether you taper off or not (loss of energy, namely, as another commentor noted). Keep the fluids flowing, get plenty of rest and hang in there. You've got this. 🫂
Don't sweat it too much. The initial awkwardness is the worst part, and from there it gets better pretty quickly. If you have any interest exploring new styles, you don't necessarily even have to come out about it to your loved ones. Just tell them you're experimenting and if they ask about your identity, you can go from there. Take it at your own pace!
You've likely seen so already, since you mentioned being a frequent lurker, but there's quite a lot of who share/shared your feelings regarding internalized misogyny. We're always here to talk about it.
Proud of you for taking these steps. You got this! 🫂
I definitely fell into the trap of believing regret was rare. Very, very rare. They might say they wish they transitioned sooner but I wish I knew this sub existed sooner...
It's too bad, though. Even if you show them facts and experiences of real people, more often than not they'll label you close-minded at best and, at worst, a bigot. Speaking from experience as being part of that mindset once upon a time. Makes me cringe to remember I used to think that way.
You have a choice: continue to take T and take a chance on seeing how it makes you feel, with the possibility of regret, or stop taking T and live with the changes that have already taken place.
It sounds like right now you're in a tough spot. It sounds like you're living a double life between still presenting as a girl to some and a boy to others. I can imagine this is exhausting for you. I think your energy would be better spent on activities to better yourself or on hobbies that make you happy.
It's easier said than done, but living your life without thinking about your gender is better than this. Please, really ask yourself why you feel that you are a man.