This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "fuckmeat7" appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments display:
- Personal, detailed medical history with specific dosages (.3 mL, .4 mL), timelines, and physiological reactions.
- Internal conflict and nuance about retaking hormones for non-binary reasons, which is a complex and genuine detransitioner/desister experience.
- Emotional consistency with the anger and frustration common among people who feel harmed by the medical system.
- Natural language with casual digressions, humor ("LoL"), and frustration that reads as human.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort began with puberty, leading me to start testosterone at 16. My medical journey was a mess with unstable dosing and doctors who never questioned my decision or offered real guidance. I stopped hormones a year ago and have mixed feelings, missing how I looked on testosterone but being worried for my health. I deeply regret that no one helped me explore my feelings instead of just affirming them. Now I'm figuring out who I am, frustrated by the world's expectations of me as a female.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been confusing, painful, and full of questions I still don't have all the answers to. I was born female, and my discomfort really started when I hit puberty. I hated the changes, especially developing breasts. I just wanted to be flat-chested. I think a lot of my feelings were tangled up in a deep discomfort with my body that went beyond gender, but at the time, transitioning seemed like the only answer.
When I was 16, I started seeing a gender therapist. I was a kid, crying in her office because I was terrified about the changes from testosterone and didn't know if I should keep taking it. My anxiety was through the roof. But instead of helping me work through that fear, she just told me "it's up to you, you do what feels right." I was 16—I didn't know what felt right! All I knew was that I wanted to look and sound like a guy. She never questioned it. She even told me I wasn't autistic, which just shows how little she really tried to understand me.
I was on testosterone for four years in total. The medical side of it was a mess. I started and stopped it cold turkey a couple of times. The first time I quit, I was just more tired than usual. But the second time, it was horrible. I felt absolutely crazy for months. My body felt completely messed up. I couldn't even smoke weed or nicotine without feeling like I was dying; it was like my body didn't have the hormones to process it. It was a terrible shock to my system.
My dosing was all over the place, too. One doctor switched me to a high dose of injections after just a month on the gel, which made my levels skyrocket. I literally felt high after my shots. Another time, a dose made my testosterone levels go over 1100 and I got a recurring yeast infection that wouldn't go away until I quit the shots. My current doctor is pretty hands-off; he lets me do whatever I want with my dosing as long as my lab work looks "normal," which isn't really the careful oversight I think I need.
I stopped hormones about a year ago, and I have a lot of mixed feelings. There are things I cannot stand that have reversed. I had a naturally flat chest on T and I miss it so, so much. There are other effects I miss too. I've thought about going back on a low dose, but I'm worried for my health. I’d want a very unbiased doctor to watch me closely. I don't want to be a "man," but I miss how testosterone made me look and feel in some ways. In a perfect world, I wish I had been born male to avoid this whole mess, or that there was a way to have a fully functioning penis. The idea of having one doesn't turn me on; it just feels "correct" to me. But the idea of someone being attracted to me as a male makes me feel amazing.
I don't know if I have regrets. It's complicated. I regret that no one ever questioned me or tried to help me understand my feelings deeper. I regret that my therapy was just affirming and not explorative. But I don't regret exploring my identity, even if it led me down a difficult path. I'm still figuring out who I am, separate from any label.
Now, I'm dealing with the reality of being a female again in the world, and it's frustrating. I've gotten in trouble at my job for having to call out because of bad periods, and it makes my blood boil that having a natural biological function makes me "unreliable."
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Started seeing a gender therapist. Started testosterone. |
| 17 | Was about a year on T, experiencing severe anxiety from changes like voice dropping and passing as male. |
| 20 | Had been on testosterone for 4 years total. Stopped T for the second time. |
| 21 | Had been off hormones for one year. |
| Now (21?) | Currently off testosterone, considering going back on a low dose with careful medical supervision. |
Top Comments by /u/fuckmeat7:
My “gender therapist” was all affirming too. I literally came into her office crying because I didn’t know if I should have kept taking testosterone (I was having the worst anxiety I’ve ever had about a year in on testosterone because I was starting to fully pass as male and my voice was changing) and she literally told me “it’s up to you you do what feels right”. I was 16. I didn’t know wtf felt “right” yet. All I knew was that I wanted to look and sound like a guy. None of this was ever questioned by “professionals”. This same lady also told me I wasn’t autistic LoL.
Ok yeah in a perfect world I’d love for there to be a way for me to have a fully functioning penis. Or just be born male and save me from this mess entirely. I was on T for four years. The masculinity i have attained is already “unnatural” lol. I don’t know. I’m far too aware of what I’m getting myself into starting hormones again, but i do miss it :/
I heavily relate to everything you said. It’s fucking infuriating.. and then men act like we’re “unreliable” for calling out during our period when if they had periods there’d be menstrual leave available EVERYWHERE. I don’t know how I’m going to discuss this with my boss without my blood boiling. I’m in trouble at my job currently because of period related issues I had to call out for. I’m “unreliable” for having bad periods i suppose.
I have no idea but sometimes I wonder if I’m autoandrophilic, but the idea of having a penis doesn’t turn me on? It just sounds “correct” to me, but the idea of somebody being attracted to me as a male makes me feel amazing, although it’s not the penis-having itself that turns me on.
It’s meant for people who’re already on hrt honestly but yeah it’s dangerous. My doctor lets me do whatever the fuck I want with my dosing as long as my lab work is “normal”.
There’s also a $99 dollar sign up fee, they just started taking some insurances but if you don’t have insurance you have to pay for the testosterone out of pocket which can be pricey especially if you use gel. They also charge small fees (like $4) for more complex bloodwork and you really have to bug them to get it. The app they text you on is worthless because you’re talking to a different person every time you send something, so your best bet to getting what you want is setting up an appointment with the doctor and discussing it there. It’s a shitty service for $99, but they do not treat minors thankfully. I believe adults should be able to do what they want with their bodies.
The title of this post is a bit misleading because you don’t just “get hormones” for “signing up” if you’re not already in their system it’s a long-ish process (as of 2022 idk what it’s like now or if it changed) and you have to pay a pretty penny to get everything you need.
How about instead of trying to speak over me you let me respond to my own damn comments you weirdo lol. I’ve never tried to explain my way into anyones pants. I was already in their pants online, and brought these things up prior to making plans/meeting. Not the best timing probably, but I’m not trying to put myself in physical danger. Maybe you’re speaking from experience, but I’ve never tried to convince a male to be attracted to me.
I’ve stopped T cold turkey twice. The first time i didn’t feel anything except a bit more tired than usual. The second time though…. I felt absolutely crazy for months. My body felt all sorts of fucked up. It was bad. I smoke weed pretty regularly… I could not smoke weed or nicotine around that time without feeling like i was dying, like my body didn’t have the hormones to process it or something. It was the weirdest thing and lasted months too. I’m just now at a point where i can smoke weed and not feel terrible or have a panic attack.
Definitely taper off. It’s a lot better for you in my opinion, stopping it cold turkey is a hard shock to the body. Shit, even starting it at high doses is very hard on the body. The second time i started it my doctor thought it was a good idea to switch me to .3 mL injections after being on the gel for a little over a month. I requested the change from gel to injections but my highest dose the first time i was on T was .35 mL. So this made my levels fucking sky rocket. I literally felt high after i did my shots. Then shortly after he said we could raise my dose and put me on .4 mL. My dose had never safely been that high, i had been prescribed .4 in the past but it made my testosterone levels go to 1100+. I got a recurring yeast infection that wasn’t responding to treatment which made me quit it all together again, and magically the yeast infection went away after I quit the shots 😒
See this is where I’m at currently. I’ve been off hormones for a year and i CANNOT STAND some of what’s reversed. I had a naturally flat chest on T and i miss it so so much. There’s other effects i miss too but i won’t delve into those right now cus i don’t feel like writing a super giant paragraph, I want to take hormones again but not with the goal of being a “man”. Im worried for my health, though. I’d want to be under a CLOSE watch from an unbiased doctor and start on a low dose, I’ve started on a high dose before and i feel it’s just too big of a “shock” for my body personally.