This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments display:
- A consistent, nuanced, and evolving personal narrative.
- Complex emotional depth and self-reflection.
- A balanced, non-dogmatic perspective on controversial topics.
- Specific, personal details about their transition, detransition, and motivations that are consistent over time.
The passion and criticism present are well within the expected range for a genuine detransitioner or desister discussing their experiences.
About me
I started identifying as trans online when I was 11 to escape trauma and male attention. I took testosterone for three years, but being seen as a man always felt alienating. I now realize I am a butch lesbian who was struggling with internalized homophobia. My family still sees me as their son, which makes detransitioning difficult to discuss with them. I don't regret the journey, but I deeply regret the time I lost and the strain it put on my relationships.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was really young, around 11 or 12. I got on Tumblr and was exposed to a lot of ideas about gender that I hadn't considered before. Looking back, I think a big part of why I latched onto being trans was because of trauma. I had been abused by men, and I didn't want to be the center of their attention anymore. Becoming a man felt like a really effective defense mechanism; it was a way to escape.
I started identifying as a trans guy and began taking testosterone when I was 17. For a while, I really leaned into it. I was on T for three years. I liked some of the physical changes it gave me, and I got used to people using he/him pronouns for me. But being called a man always felt alienating, and that feeling has only gotten stronger.
Now, at 20, I’ve realized I’m not a trans man. I’m a self-hating lesbian, a very gender non-conforming butch woman. I think a lot of my struggle was rooted in internalized homophobia and not being able to accept myself for who I was. I see now that plenty of girls feel the same way about their bodies and not fitting into feminine stereotypes; I just didn't know that was an option for me. I spent almost a decade stressing about being a boy and not actually being one, and it feels like I wasted so much time.
My relationship with my family is completely different now. They are very accepting, but they see me as their son, not their daughter. That makes it really hard to talk to them about the struggles I’m facing now with detransitioning. I feel like an outsider, even though they mean well.
I haven’t fully decided what to do about my medical transition. I’m still on testosterone for now because I like how I look, but I’m starting to look at it more as a health concern than part of an identity. I’ll be talking to my doctor about my levels. The only surgery I’m still considering is top surgery because I have always hated my breasts; that discomfort has never changed, no matter how I identify. I think of it more as a plastic surgery for my own comfort now, not as a step in transitioning.
I don't have regrets about everything. I don't regret transitioning in the sense that it was a path I needed to walk to get to where I am now and understand myself better. But I do regret how much it changed my family relationships and the time I lost to stress and confusion. If I could go back, I wish I hadn't found those online spaces so young and that I had been able to work through my trauma and self-hatred without feeling like I had to change my entire body to be safe and accepted.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 11/12 | Joined Tumblr, was first exposed to trans identity concepts online. |
| 17 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 20 | Realized I was a detransitioning butch lesbian, not a trans man. |
Top Comments by /u/gawitinc:
I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with all of this. The only advice I can really offer is getting the neovagina closed and seeking revisions for a no-depth result. It sounds to me like that might be a good option for you and will allow you to get your life back on track.
Don’t be too angry... I got on hormones at 17 and have only now realized as a 20-year-old that I’m a self-hating lesbian. Plus I think being trans was a defense mechanism for me against men, I had been abused by them and I did not want to be the center of their attention, so becoming a man was a pretty great way of alleviating that problem.
I can’t help but think of how things might have been different had I not gone on hormones or if I wouldn’t have gotten on Tumblr at such a young age (also around 11/12). I’ve wasted so much time stressing about being a boy and not actually being a boy and it took me almost a decade to come to the conclusion that I’m not actually a boy at all and, something that still blows my mind, plenty of girls can relate. I’ve completely changed the relationship I have with my family to the point where I feel like an outsider — everyone is actually very accepting but so much so that I can’t talk about the struggles I face now. I’m their son now, not their daughter.
There are essentially two narratives regarding SRS.
The TRA narrative: surgeons never make errors, neovaginas are basically vaginas (so much so that gynecologists cannot tell the difference), and no one regrets their surgery nor did they have any major, life-threatening complications
The anti-TRA narrative: surgeons are performing experimental surgeries, neovaginas are open wounds with necrotic flesh and abysmal smells, almost everyone regrets the surgery unless they’re an extreme fetishist and there’s no such thing as SRS without major complications and near death experiences
It’s really hard for people to walk in the middle. The truth is that some neovaginas look pretty damn convincing. Others look far from what anyone pictures a vagina as. Same for FTM bottom surgery and neophalluses.
As for why are people spreading these lies, from either side? Because they’re entrenched in their ideologies and don’t want to give the other side and inch because they know they’d both take a mile.
I guess it depends on what “trans rights” would mean. I’ve pretty much always been in the camp of not wanting special treatment, especially for being trans (seemed to defeat the purpose of “blending in”). I think trans people deserve the same rights afforded to any human being, nothing more and certainly nothing less. I don’t think my transition/detransition has really changed my view on that.
I also find myself looking at the eyes of the people in those timeline photos. There is a lot of sadness there, not at all dissimilar to other people with body issues and low self-esteem who seek comfort online. You can see the online persona fall away, the day-to-day struggle that is covered up by an upbeat, excited image of themselves that isn’t close to being the whole picture.
I’m not talking about all timeline photos, of course. Some people look genuinely really happy, like things have gone their way for the most part. But I definitely notice a more glazed-over sort of look in most of those photos, particularly of trans women, but trans men too.
David’s case really has nothing to do with and leaves no impression on gender dysphoria or transgender issues in general. A baby boy getting a botched circumcision, a doctor “fixing it” with a neovagina, and the subsequent traumas that boy experienced growing up, really has nothing to do with someone who thinks/feels like they’re the opposite sex. David was literally the opposite sex. What David experienced could hardly be called gender dysphoria either, who knows how fucking terrible it must have been to go through all of that and only find out after. The whole thing was Money’s experiment gone wrong and shouldn’t looked at as anything more than torturous.
I do feel some pressure to conform to gender roles, but only a little. Detransitioning has meant a change in the way I think and perceive myself. I don’t think of myself as a trans guy anymore. I think of myself as a very gnc butch lesbian.
As for whether or not I’ll get off hormones/“come out” about detransitioning... I haven’t quite decided. I like how I look after being on 3 years of testosterone. I like being referred to with he/him pronouns, but I don’t mind being called a woman — being called a man has always felt alienating and now even more so. I’m looking at the hormones as more of a health concern now — I’ll get my levels checked and see what my doctor says, but last check-up I had I was told I’m healthy. The only surgery I’m still considering is top surgery, because my breasts have always bothered me a lot and that hasn’t changed regardless of how I think of myself. But I think of top surgery as more like plastic surgery than I do a part of transitioning now.