This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is consistent and deeply personal, reflecting a specific ideological viewpoint within the detransition community (e.g., strong opposition to AGP/autogynephilia). The comments show personal history (dysphoria, autism diagnosis), nuanced opinions, and a consistent writing style over several months, which is not typical of automated or impersonating accounts. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the warning about the user's potential stance.
About me
I struggled with feeling out of place as a girl from childhood, and my family treated me as an honorary boy to cope. My discomfort intensified during puberty when I hated the changes happening to my female body. I finally found comfort in my own skin in my late twenties through female friendship and feminism. Getting an autism diagnosis in my mid-thirties explained my social struggles and why I latched onto the idea of being male. I now see my journey was about self-acceptance, not changing my body, and I'm grateful I never medically transitioned.
My detransition story
My whole experience with gender started when I was a kid. I really struggled with what I now know was gender dysphoria, but we didn't call it that back then. I just felt completely out of place. I hated being a girl because I felt like we were rubbish compared to boys, and I couldn't get on with any of the other girls my age. My family and friends sort of humored me; it was like a game we all played where I was treated as an "honorary boy." That social role was my main way of coping.
This discomfort got a lot worse during puberty. I hated the changes my body was going through, especially developing breasts. I felt like my body was betraying me and becoming something I didn't recognize or want to be. Looking back, a lot of this was tied to my low self-esteem and social anxiety. I felt like I was failing at being a girl, so I just rejected it entirely.
I carried these feelings with me through my late teens and into my early twenties. It was a long, slow process of figuring myself out. It wasn't until my mid-to-late twenties that I finally started to feel properly comfortable in my own skin. A huge part of that was discovering female friendship and the world of feminism. It helped me see that there wasn't just one way to be a woman, and that I could be myself without having to change my body.
I was later diagnosed with autism in my mid-thirties, after a lot of earlier misdiagnoses for things like anxiety and depression. That diagnosis explained so much about my life, including my earlier struggles with gender. I was emotionally immature and socially awkward, and I latched onto the idea of being a boy like a laser-guided missile. I see now that it was a form of escapism, a way to make sense of why I felt so different from everyone else. I worry a lot about the current movement and what it's doing to kids, especially autistic kids like I was, who are so vulnerable to latching onto these ideas.
I never medically transitioned. We didn't really do that back then, and I'm so grateful for that now. I only ever transitioned socially, in that limited way with my family. I didn't take hormones or have any surgery. Because of that, I didn't have to deal with serious health complications or infertility. My body is still intact.
I don't believe I was born in the wrong body. I think I was a girl who didn't fit the narrow stereotype of what a girl should be, and I internalized that self-hatred. I don't regret that I didn't transition, but I do regret the years I spent feeling so uncomfortable and angry at myself. I benefited from living a more autism-friendly life far more than I ever did from any pills for anxiety or depression.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's a lot more complicated than just being born in the wrong body. For me, it was tied to autism, social discomfort, and a deep-seated feeling of not being good enough. I think it's dangerous to take those feelings and immediately affirm them as meaning someone is trans. We need to be allowed to explore what else is going on.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Struggled with gender dysphoria and discomfort. Hated being a girl. |
| Puberty | Hated the physical changes, especially developing breasts. Felt intense puberty discomfort. |
| Teens/Early 20s | Socially lived as an "honorary boy" with family and friends. Continued to struggle with these feelings. |
| Mid-to-Late 20s | Began to feel comfortable with my body. Discovered female friendship and feminism. |
| Mid-30s | Diagnosed with autism, which explained many of my earlier struggles, including with gender. |
Top Comments by /u/gemmagema:
That community won't tell you it's a fetish because many of them have those fetishes too. Many seem to be addicted to porn. They claim that it's normal and desirable and that no one should ever shame someone else for a kink. They lie to themselves that "real women do it too". Some truly believe that they are women because the idea makes their dick hard.
Of course, getting turned on by a fetish does NOT mean you should have been born female, or that you should change your body. It is ridiculous and damaging to live a life believing that. You will always be chasing a delusion and trying to hit those highs.
You could look at the "itsafetish" subreddit for more discussion on this (but be warned, it is very blunt).
I can believe that there are women out there who do masturbate to their own sexualised image, but I can't believe it's regular or routine. It doesn't clock with me, my friends, what I know from online communities and messaging boards, movies, tv, advertising and marketing, or anything in daily life.
I think men forget that most women just... exist. We're not sex objects and we don't wank at the thought of womanly bits.
I suspect you won't welcome my comment but I want you to know I mean it kindly: I seriously think you need to find a therapist who specialises in AGP and work with them. Not someone who affirms transition, not someone who denies it, but someone who can really work with you.
Don't think of it as "jumping through hoops" as you do in your post, and don't have transition/not-transition as a fixed goal. Explore what else could be going on and try to treat it and work towards a healthier life.
I say this because yes I think that everything you worry about is true. Many people will lie to you to be kind and to affirm you, especially online, but you cannot become female. You won't be attractive to the vast, vast majority of women or lesbians. So you won't get what you fantasise about. You will damage your health, relationship prospects, and for what?
If you understand that this is a fetish then you also must know that it'll grow and you'll need new ways to get the same kick over time. You don't want surgery now but I've read accounts on Reddit of people who started like that and kept going and regretted it.
As a full disclaimer of course, I'm coming from an angle which others here might not be. I struggled with dysphoria when I was young but didn't medically transition. I also really don't like how you fetishise the concept of being female, and I think men who are AGP should be kept firmly out of female places. But I guess that many readers here will disagree on this point of view.
I really hope you get some useful support here even if my post doesn't help.
Yes that was me too - add in a huge dose of hating girls because we were rubbish compared to boys, and I couldn't get on with any of them. It took till my mid-late 20s to feel properly comfortable with my body, and to discover female friends and the world of feminism. (I was later diagnosed with autism in my mid 30s which explained quite a bit.)
I loathe the current movement and what it's doing to children - especially autistic children who hate change, are emotionally immature and socially awkward, but will latch on to things like a laser guided missile and believe authority figures around them.
I also hate that there are no decent statistics on all this. My case would never have been recorded anywhere, I'm sure most of them wouldn't, but here we are being told by reputable organisations that anyone with these feelings is born in the wrong body and a high suicide risk.
I hope someone replies who's been on your exact same journey.
To me though it sounds like an unnecessarily exhausting and miserable way to live your one and only life.
I'd really hope that if your boyfriend loves you, he'd support you living more authentically as a feminine man. I know it's not always that simple when you're the one facing it of course.
However if you can't talk to him about this, then your relationship might be in trouble anyway. Its only going to eat away at you more over time.
I struggled with gender dysphoria when I was a kid until late teens/early 20s. We didn't do "transition" back then, it was more of a game which my family and friends sort of agreed to play with me ("that's X, she's an honorary boy' sort of thing).
I was later diagnosed as autistic in my mid 30s, after a lot of misdiagnoses likeanxiety and depression. I have to say, the pills didn't help me much, but living a more autism-friendly life has. Medication helped my husband immensely though. It's always worth a try.