This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is complex, nuanced, and evolves over time, which is typical of a genuine person. They express personal experiences (e.g., "my breasts also feel alien"), engage deeply with others' arguments, and show a consistent, passionate but thoughtful, gender-critical viewpoint that aligns with a desister/detransitioner's likely mindset. The language is natural and lacks the repetition or simplicity of a script.
About me
I was a girl who always felt uncomfortable with the expectations placed on me, and puberty made me hate my developing body. I found online communities that convinced me these feelings meant I was a trans man, and I started testosterone quickly. I realized I didn't want to be a man; I just wanted to escape the vulnerability and pressures of being female. I stopped taking hormones when I understood my dysphoria was a reaction to society, not my body itself. Now, I'm learning to be a strong woman, and therapy has helped me see that my body was never the problem.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was very young, feeling deeply uncomfortable with the expectations placed on me as a girl. I never fit in and always felt like an outsider looking in. I now believe a lot of this was due to being autistic; performing any social role, especially a gendered one, felt unnatural and forced. I also struggled with a deep discomfort during puberty. I hated the development of my breasts; they felt alien and wrong on my body, like they didn't belong to me.
This feeling of not belonging led me online, where I found communities that explained these feelings as gender dysphoria. I was heavily influenced by what I read and by friends I made who were also questioning their gender. It made sense to me at the time. I started identifying as non-binary, which felt like an escape from the pressures of womanhood. Eventually, that escalated to identifying as a trans man. I saw a doctor through an online service and was prescribed testosterone very quickly. Looking back, I think the process happened too fast and without enough exploration of other reasons for my feelings.
I took testosterone for a while. I’m not sure if it was a real effect or a placebo, but I felt a sense of emotional blunting, like my empathy was dialed down. At first, I thought this was helpful because I wouldn’t get so overwhelmed by other people's suffering, but it also made me feel disconnected. I thought a lot about the physical effects, too. I read about how testosterone can burn the body out faster, while estrogen is better for longevity, and that stuck with me.
My main reason for wanting to transition was a deep-seated feeling of bodily inferiority. I felt weaker and more vulnerable to male violence, and I hated that feeling. I thought becoming a man was the only way to escape that vulnerability. I had a lot of internalized misogyny and, I think, some internalized homophobia too, as I'm primarily attracted to women. I saw my female body as a problem to be solved.
I seriously considered top surgery because I hated my breasts so much. I thought about it for a long time, but I ultimately came to see that procedure, for me, as a form of self-harm. I realized that removing a healthy organ wouldn't give me the male chest I wanted; it would just leave me with a surgically altered female one. That was a big turning point for me.
I began to understand that what I hated wasn't my female body itself, but how society treats female bodies. The pressure to wear bras, the risk of harassment, the expectation to have children—these are social problems, not biological ones. I redirected my anger away from myself and toward the society that made me feel this way. I learned to value the resilience and endurance of the female body, its ability to create life and sustain communities.
I detransitioned because I realized I didn't want to be a man; I wanted to be a strong, weird woman who supports other strong, weird women. I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to this understanding, but I do regret the medical intervention. I regret taking testosterone. I benefited greatly from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a trans identity, but that helped me unpack my trauma, autism, and low self-esteem. It helped me see that my dysphoria was a natural reaction to restrictive gender roles and a difficult puberty, not a sign that I was born in the wrong body.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's a confining social category that people are pushed into. The answer isn't to change ourselves to fit the category, but to challenge the category itself. Butch women are women. Women who don't want children are still women. Our bodies are not the problem.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty; began to feel intense discomfort and hatred toward my developing breasts. |
| 16 | Found online trans communities; heavily influenced by what I read. Began to identify as non-binary. |
| 17 | Identity shifted to identifying as a trans man. |
| 18 | Used an online service to get a prescription for testosterone and started taking it. |
| 19 | Seriously considered top surgery but decided against it, realizing it was a form of self-harm for me. |
| 20 | Stopped taking testosterone and began to detransition. Started therapy to address underlying trauma, autism, and self-esteem issues. |
| 21 | Fully embraced identifying as a woman again, understanding my dysphoria as a reaction to social pressures, not an innate identity. |
Top Comments by /u/genovakid23:
I think the fujoshi/agp category is an actual thing, but I've met many more trans women/girls who simply felt alienated by gender and their bodies. Just like dysphoric females, it's a lot of autism and a lot of child sex abuse history. OP I agree you are onto something. There isn't really a post-trans identity for guys. However, I think its worth considering how immediate and intense the effects of testosterone are compared to antiandrogens + estrogen. That coupled with how common top surgery is... its a lot harder to just go back to passing as your birth sex.
I think the dysphoria that led you to identify as nb is an understandable response to gender roles. Those feelings, alienation, etc. associated with womanhood don't make you an un-woman, or non-binary or whatever. I don't know, why do you think they/them pronouns are necessary?
but why does it make them happy to use gender neutral pronouns in the first place. is it because maybe negative things are associated with womanhood and the corresponding pronouns? because society associates femininity with womanhood, and OP doesn’t present totally feminine? gender is confining. it is a social category people are pushed into, that’s it. why would you continue to abide by the very thing that harmed u in the first place
Something related I read, although it's not totally accurate:
A common theme I see amongst young feminists, who are starting to understand the depths of male violence against girls and women, is a feeling of such hopelessness that it concentrates into a feeling of bodily inferiority; a feeling of being weaker, being rapeable, being impregnatable. And sometimes even, in turn, hating oneself and ones female body.
I want every woman out there to know that the physical ability to commit violence upon another person is not a superior trait, despite what generations of men would like you to believe.
Men give violence and brute strength value. So let's talk about where we should be giving value to the female body.
First, the reason men are on average stronger than women is also their downfall. Testosterone is a hormone that gives the ability to build muscle and maintain little fat. To simplify how it works, it burns hard and fast to build. This means that it burns hard and fast through the body as well. Mens' bodies breakdown quicker-hearts fail, muscles degenerate, etc. They die younger than women.
Essentially, female bodies are more flexible and have a better endurance. This is because our bodies and systems are built for longevity - not power. Mens' bodies are built for power and quick burn.
Our uteruses (and other hormonal regulatory systems in our bodies!) love us dearly. Our bodies regulate hormones, limit testosterone, and ensure we don't burn out quick. We experience menopause and men don't. We've been taught this is a bad thing.. But our bodies slow down and stop the hormones that would burn us out, and mens bodies don't. Menopause elevates our lifespan and quality of life.
In fact, this reproductive/regulatory system is so important, we have fat deposits that protect these organs. This allows us to be healthier for longer, too!!
It also helps a ton that we have a boosted immune system, much better than our male peers. On top of that, we have higher pain tolerances! We are better equipped to fight off things that ail us, and persevere through things that would bring us harm.
So we know women live longer, and in better health - but why is that? Is it just testosterone? Is it just to get pregnant? No! Our bodies don't exist to sustain a baby (though they can, and the fact that all life on earth exists because of women is an astoundingly powerful truth) they exist to sustain us - because we were and are community leaders, healers, caretakers, providers - we are immensely valuable.
Why, evolutionarily, are we this way? Because older women bring more value to communities than older men. Look up the Grandmother Hypothesis in evolution studies; it says menopause evolved because it allows women to live longer, because women (specifically grandmothers!) are key to community survival and kin relationships. Older women are key to our species survival; not just for the lives they may or may not create, but for the relationships, the community, the reasons we live.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandmother_hypothesis
I also recommend arming yourself tbh, a gun definitely helps level the playing field.
I thought about how testosterone kind of burns men out over time, while estrogen is better for longevity. I read about how women tracking their menstruation cycles might have been the earliest form of timekeeping. There’s also this special solidarity women have that I like. Sometimes collective oppression can tie people together, you know? I can have all these things and still rock climb, hike, kayak, shoot, and squat my body weight. What bothers me the most about womanhood (bras, the pressure to have children, risk of harassment, etc.) is usually social, not biological. So I redirect that hatred/desire to change myself towards society. I no longer want to be a man, I want to be a weird woman that supports other weird woman haha.
Conversion therapy doesn’t work. It will only traumatize you further. If I were you, I’d think about this in terms of dysphoria and not in terms of some wrongful desire to be a man. Lots of people have dysphoria. It’s a natural reaction to restrictive gender roles, just more severe in certain cases. Don’t try to repress it. Let it exist. You have a female body that’s subject to a lot of bullshit, why wouldn’t all that stress manifest in such a way?
Honestly a lot of your dysphoria is probably just autism, performing any kind of social role is uncomfortable for most of us. HRT still may be helpful, but if you lack empathy for natal women or actively dislike them you won’t be able to “feel” like one.
OP obviously this isn’t the same... but if you wanted to be biologically connected to your baby, why not put your eggs inside of your wife? That way the baby would be epigenetically connected to your wife (which has a lot of impact actually!) and genetically connected to you.
Honestly I have no idea, OP. There are people who perfectly fit the criteria for gender dysphoria and still detransition. Then there are people who seem like ticking time bombs that genuinely benefit from gender affirming care. Predicting regret feels as elusive as predicting the stock market.
I have no evidence to back up this hunch, but I suspect that the rate is much higher among people who transitioned after 2015. Medical intervention was definitely seen as a last resort up until recently. Shit like getplume.co would have been unthinkable 10 years ago.