This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent. They describe a long-term, complex personal history with transition (2 years on T), detransition (3 years off T), and the ongoing physical and social challenges that result. The feelings of regret, social alienation, and fluctuating dysphoria are deeply personal and align with known experiences shared by many detransitioners. The language is passionate and contains the frustration and stigma you noted as common in this community.
About me
I started transitioning as a teenager because I was uncomfortable with my body and thought it would fix my depression and anxiety. I was on testosterone for two years, convinced it was the right path, but I realized my unhappiness wasn't actually about my gender. I stopped and now, three years later, I'm left with permanent changes like a deep voice that make it hard to be seen as a woman. I feel stuck in between and have lost many friends, which has been incredibly lonely. I regret the permanent changes and just wish I had worked on my real issues instead.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was really uncomfortable with my body during puberty and hated developing breasts. I think a lot of my feelings were mixed up with other issues, like my depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. I'm also autistic, and I've always felt like I walked and acted differently from other people, which made social things harder.
I found a lot of community and answers online that pointed me toward transitioning. I started identifying as non-binary first, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a trans man. I was really influenced by what I saw in online communities. I started taking testosterone when I was 18. I was on T for about two years.
At the time, I was totally convinced I passed as male. I loved the muscles I built and how I looked with short hair. But looking back, I think I was probably fooling myself a bit. Online spaces can be a real echo chamber where everyone tells you you're passing perfectly, even when you're not.
I stopped testosterone after two years. I realized that a lot of my dysphoria wasn't really about gender. It would come and go depending on how happy I was with the rest of my life. If I was lonely or depressed, I'd start to blame those feelings on gender dysphoria. I decided I'd rather be an unhappy woman than have to fight constantly to be seen as a man. It felt like a performance, and it was exhausting.
Now, I'm three years off testosterone, and things are complicated. My voice is permanently deep, and I don't really pass as female anymore. People are always confused and ask me what my pronouns are or if I use a different name. It's humiliating. I feel like I'm stuck in this in-between space where I'm not seen as a woman, but I also know I'm not a man. I just look like a trans woman to most people, which is the opposite of what I ever wanted.
I regret my name change a lot. I chose a very feminine legal name, and now I'm stuck with it. I wish I had chosen something gender-neutral. I've already changed my name twice, so changing it again feels impossible.
I lost a lot of lifelong friends through all of this. They dropped me and never came back. I guess they still see me as a freak or as someone who is severely mentally ill. It’s been really lonely.
I have a lot of complicated feelings about sex and attraction. I think I have a stronger sexual attraction to women, but I've dated men because it felt more practical and easier to find a companion. I'm currently with a man, and he's a good partner, but I don't have a strong romantic or sexual attraction to men in general. Orgasms help me with stress and sleep, but I feel like I have to force myself to do it; the natural urges aren't really there anymore.
I don't think I'll retransition. I sometimes think I would have been happier if I had been born a guy, but I wasn't. I'm glad for trans people who are happy, but for me, it wasn't the right path. My biggest regret is the permanent changes from testosterone, especially my voice, and how it's left me in this difficult social position where I don't feel like I belong anywhere.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started taking testosterone (T). |
| 20 | Stopped taking testosterone. |
| 23 | (Current age) 3 years off T, living as a detransitioned woman. |
Top Comments by /u/gionnav:
Yep! Especially people that argue shit like “oOoHhH well you could lift! There are female bodybuilders too!” and it’s like… I have literally lived through both sides of it. A biological female will never be as strong as a male. They’re straight up denying my experience and biology as a whole.
And yeah the equality part sucks. People will argue all day that they “see women as equals” but they treat them so differently. Why??? Even highly educated people sometimes are so fucking misogynistic it’s disgusting
This is a good point. At this time, detrans people are mostly off the radar but I’m sure tides will turn. I wonder what society will be like in this regard in a decade or two.
It’s something pretty unprecedented- that 18 year olds can make such a massive biological modification like this.
It sucks that trans people are in the spotlight because I would probably just be seen as a girl with a weird voice or hormone issue otherwise. Now, the second there’s even a small “hint” I’m not cis, literally the tiniest thing, and I’m instantly read as a trans woman forever by that person.
By brow you mean eyebrows/brow bone? Idk. I also have fairly masculine mannerisms, and I’m autistic so I’ve always been told I walked “weird.”
Even though I have absurdly small hands and feet, and have a feminine looking body, people still peg me as trans. I’m pretty sure they just hear the deep voice and thats all that matters.
Exactly! It’s hard to fathom that I might be seen as a trans woman my whole life simply because of 2 years on T as basically a child. Wtf. Maybe once I’m 40-50 people will just assume I was a heavy smoker.
But yeah it’s just crazy… some people are on T 10+ years and still have many “tells” that point to them being AFAB. Yet somehow (even tho I doubt I fully passed as male when I was on T) I can’t even pass as my birth sex now
My dysphoria has come and gone a hundred times. I have considered retransitioning a couple times, but chose not to.
I find my dysphoria comes back when I’m unhappy with other areas of my life. If I’m lonely or unhappy with my situation, I’ll start to “blame” it on gender dysphoria.
I still do sometimes think I’d be much happier as a guy. If I was born a guy though. Im glad for trans people who are happy being trans, but I’d rather just be an unhappy woman than fighting constantly to be seen as a guy and feeling like it’s all a lie.
Yeah it’s not even just a “masculine walk.” It is biological, we are wired to recognize the sexes. It’s their faces, browbones, larger heads, thicker necks, more barrel-y upper bodies, lack of hips, “harder” features, even different skin than bio women.
As a trans guy I was tooootally convinced i passed 100%. Even going onto trans subs now, there’s so many people who claim they’re “stealth” then you see their pic… almost none of them are truly stealth. I always hated trans passing subs even when I fully bought into “stealth” idea. Because all they do is hugbox everyone and convince them they’re flawlessly passing
I’m a detrans woman but I feel the same! Lifelong friends dropped me too and still have never came back. Guess I’m too much of a “freak” for them still, or they just will always see me as severely mentally ill or something.
When I look back at pictures of when I transitioned, I feel kinda jealous. I miss having muscles and looking good with short hair. Now I’m ugly as both a guy and a girl, and it sucks.
Idk I just wish there was a middle ground. For me, orgasming really helps reduce stress, makes it so much easier to fall asleep, and reduces all sorts of pain. But I literally have to force myself to do it now and I never get natural urges. I agree that feeling like a slave to sexual desires is not great, but at this point I’d almost rather than be completely asexual.
Can you explain more about your attraction to males vs females, and what you mean by you married a man for practicality?
What I’m interpreting is you have more of a sexual attraction to women but it was simply easier to find a man to be companions with?
I’m trying to figure out my own feelings. I have strong emotional attraction to women but am dating a guy rn. He’s probably the only guy I’ll ever date again as I have no sexual or romantic attraction to men in general, but also feel like my current relationship is “practical” and he’s a good companion (even tho I’m not heavily passionate about the sex or anything)
It seems like a lot of bi women have sexual attraction towards women but don’t actually want long term relationships with them. A lot of PC people will hate me for this but it’s true that the great majority of bi women end up with men.
Yeah I really wish I chose a gender neutral name. When I first detransitioned I went through a feminine phase and now I’ve swung back to the middle, but more masculine. I chose a very feminine name with a gender neutral nickname.
The problem is that I still have to introduce myself as the really feminine name in places like work and school, and it’s just way too much effort to tell every single person I go by my nickname instead.
I’m 3 years off T and still don’t really pass as female. People always ask me if I prefer a different name or what pronouns I use. It feels so humiliating. I really wish I could change my name to a gender neutral one, but I’ve already changed it twice so guess I’m stuck with it.