This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's narrative is complex and evolving, showing internal conflict (e.g., the latest comment expresses renewed discomfort with female pronouns after identifying as a desister). This nuance, personal detail, and emotional consistency are typical of a genuine person grappling with a difficult experience, not a scripted bot. The passion and occasional sharpness align with the warning that detransitioners/desisters can be rightfully angry or frustrated.
About me
I always hated being called a girl, so I transitioned to live as a man with testosterone and surgery. My big realization came when I noticed I didn't mind if someone accidentally called me "ma'am." I understand now that I'm a masculine woman, and my problem was with feminine expectations, not with being female itself. I'm comfortable in my body and don't regret my medical transition, as it helped me become myself. I'm still figuring out why I feel discomfort with "she/her" pronouns even though I accept being a woman.
My detransition story
I'm writing this summary of my experience to share my story, in my own words. It's a bit strange to lay it all out from start to finish, but I think it's important.
My whole journey started because I hated being called "she" or "her" or "young lady," even when I was a kid. That discomfort was the main reason I originally thought I must be a trans man. It just felt wrong. So, I started identifying as a man and began taking testosterone. I also got top surgery, which I wanted because I hated having breasts. I liked the changes from testosterone; it gave me a more masculine appearance, including facial hair that I keep trimmed short. I'm really thankful for that.
After living that way for a while, I realized something important. I noticed that when people saw me as androgynous and couldn't tell my gender, sometimes they'd call me "ma'am" or "lady" by mistake. And I found that I didn't mind it at all. That was the big moment for me—the moment I knew I wasn't actually a trans man. If I were, being called "ma'am" would have been upsetting. For me, it was just... neutral.
I've come to understand that I'm just a woman who likes looking masculine. I'm a lesbian, and I know other butch lesbians who have taken testosterone for a more masculine appearance, and that makes sense to me. That's where I fit. The problem was never with being a woman itself; it was with the specific expectations that came with it. I just wanted to exist as a masculine woman.
Now, I'm pretty androgynous in a way I like. My social life is completely normal. I'm a student, training to be a digital archivist, and how I look hasn't caused me any problems with school, my future career, or making friends. I've had plenty of partners and my dating life has been fine. I think being an attractive androgynous woman is actually welcomed in the lesbian community. But more than that, I believe having a good personality—being patient and kind—is what really matters in dating and friendships.
Even though I've accepted that I'm a woman, I'm still confused about one thing. I'm no more comfortable with "she/her" pronouns now than I was before I transitioned. I still don't like them. I thought that finally accepting I was a woman would make the discomfort go away, but it hasn't. That's something I'm still figuring out.
Looking back, I don't regret my transition. The testosterone and top surgery helped me create a body I feel comfortable and happy in. I get to live in a body I like. My journey wasn't about becoming a man; it was about becoming more myself, which turned out to be a masculine woman. I benefited from the medical steps I took, even if my understanding of my own gender changed along the way.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Felt strong discomfort and hated being called "she/her" or "young lady." |
| Young Adulthood | Socially and medically transitioned, believing I was a trans man. Started testosterone and had top surgery. |
| Young Adulthood | Realized I didn't mind when people perceived me as female ("ma'am"), which led me to understand I was not a trans man. |
| Present | I now identify as a masculine lesbian woman. I am comfortable with my body thanks to testosterone and surgery, but I still feel discomfort with "she/her" pronouns. |
Top Comments by /u/gnclovely:
I don’t work, I’m a student/training to do digital archiving and it really doesn’t affect my social life at all. Like I said I’m not cis passing I’m pretty androgynous in a nice way. I also have really nice, full facial hair that I keep trimmed short and not a pcos neck beard which I’m so, so thankful for lol. I can’t stand looking at trans men with the neck beard it’s so gross and they let it just grow out all scraggly. Couldn’t be me.
Yeah I like all of it tbh. I also don’t mind when people call me called me mam and lady ect. I’m not cis passing so I confuse people sometimes and they use she/her for me. I don’t mind at all and it’s how I knew I wasn’t a trans man. I just like looking masc. I’m a lesbian and I know some other butch lesbians who went on testosterone for a more masculine appearance.
No it doesn’t idk how else to say it my dating life is honestly fine you don’t have to worry about it I promise. Im an attractive androgynous woman and in the lesbian community that really doesn’t affect anything or it hasn’t for me anyways. Theres also more that goes into dating than looks. I have a good personality, I’m patient and kind to everyone I meet and all that goes a long way. I hope this helps you understand a bit better but if not I’m willing to go over it again or answer any other questions you have about my dating life.
Wym what does it do? It makes me happy and I like the way it looks on me. (Not trying to be rude I just don’t get that question) I don’t have issues with dating or my social life or anything like that. I’m pretty typical when it comes to things like that. I have friends and I’ve had plenty of partners. I actually just got out of a long term relationship which ended for other reasons. I dont have any issues socially I just act like a normal person and people genuinely just don’t care what I look like. Some people call me ma’am and some people call me sir but it doesn’t affect my ability to do my schoolwork or the training program I’m in and in my experience with the public through both those things I don’t see it affecting my future position in the company I’m training with. I have done well for myself so far in life and I get to live in a body I like thanks to testosterone and top surgery.
I’m confused about why I’m so uncomfortable I guess. I’m no more comfortable being called she/her now than I was before I transitioned. Even as a child I absolutely hated people calling me she/her and it’s mostly why I thought I was trans to begin with. I was hoping accepting I was a woman would help me feel more comfortable but it hasn’t.