If a guy won’t like you over not having tits, then he ain’t worth it. Plenty of women never even develop them- being flat chested isn’t anything new, so why is a mastectomy? Because there’s scars?

You’re no less of a woman for having a mastectomy.

Rip off the bandaid, but know whatever his response is, that says things about HIM, not you.

this woman's story helped me a lot (it's not trans related, but a great story) especially with the fears that came with publicly detransitioning. The quote from her dad about being seen was very powerful in learning to move forward from physical change and the pressure of society around us, I have applied it to many instances of my life but primarily during my detransition. I think there's a time to remember that we are more than just the things we face or the things that happen to us physically. We are more than how we are perceived by others.

You may face change. You may face hard times. Some people might not see you how you want to be seen. You will still be okay. You will be okay.

Take it one day at a time. Eat, rest, and wake up to see the sun tomorrow. Feel it on your skin and know that you are infinitely more than all of this.

Radical feminism really helped me. Honestly. A lot of people would shit on me for thinking that makes me a TERF or manhater (i'm not) by default, but it helped me deconstruct a lot of my issues with self image and esteem.

It helped me redefine being a woman, because from day 1 we are conditioned to behave certain ways and sort ourselves into boxes and rely on the approval of others. I can be a woman and anything else. My body doesn't adhere me to others' expectations. I can change what it means to be a woman to the world, even if by just a little.

Suddenly I started to think less about my body and how it looked. I began to prioritize my actions and who I was over how others saw me. It was freeing.

I didn't go on hormones, but speaking way below my register for years formed vocal nodules in my throat that have done something similar to me. My voice squeaks, cracks, and hurts more than anything, and if I try to aim above my range, it's all air and pain.

You're not alone, but take the wins you can. I used to sing at a soprano/mezzo soprano, and while I can't anymore, I can still sing velvety alto songs. You likely can too, with practice. It's nothing flashy, and a little more far and few between, but it's better than nothing, I suppose.

Like any injury or condition, this will just become a part of your life, and you'll learn to work around it. Dwelling on what was will only hurt you - try to find your strengths where you can, and hold onto them.

I think this sub has a lot of hurt feelings and negative outcomes; but there's definitely something to be said about detransitioning that's largely positive.

I didn't physically transition (I stopped right before getting HRT, on a gut feeling) but desisted. I have a close friend who fully transitioned and is now detransitioning. Both of us don't have negative feelings regarding it because we accept it as part of the story of our lives.

It was a phase, but at the time it felt real, and it was what we thought worked. That changed, we learned more about ourselves, and we had the bravery to admit that what we were doing wasn't working after all. More than that, we learned to respect ourselves as we are.

Friend is doing good, too. She has a boyfriend (my childhood friend actually :) ) and several pets and a job she loves with coworkers who love her, too. I'm living a good life and working on my career, I'm in business school and I've made many friends.

Truth is? The world is hard, but sometimes it can be kind. Sometimes, we learn life is bigger than our appearances or how others see us. And it's important to remember that good lives still await people after detransitioning. I don't fault anyone for coming out of transition with trauma or negative feelings; but your perspective alone can change a lot about how a situation looks in hindsight.

We're alive, after all. All we should focus on is enjoying the time we have. Mourning is fine, but moving forward is all we can do, ultimately. We might as well make it easy for ourselves.

The weird thing is I don’t even really remember. It was a lot of things I think. And still I don’t “feel like”my AGAB, so I understand how I came to that conclusion. I just don’t really remember what gave me the drive to not just think I was trans but want to transition.

Hey, I get this. I'm 21. I've just recently started mentally detransitioning and finding a place comfortable in my natural body- I find mindfulness helps. Recognize when you feel something, ask yourself why you feel it, work through the thought process and assure yourself that your feelings are there, valid, and then let them go. Reframe your perspective.

It's okay to feel bad about your gender at times. It's what we're practically taught from day 1. Girls are taught we're supposed to be some type of way no matter what. That would make anyone exhausted and tired and negative.

You're allowed to feel bad, but remember to ask yourself why you feel like you do in the moment. I get very insecure about my reproductive system too- I realize that a lot of it is because of the expectations of heteronormativity (i'm bi) and childbearing (NEVER in the cards for me) I've had pushed on me since I was a child, and I've mentally tied that to them. I take time to realize that It's just an organ, and it doesn't have to be inherently tied to children or expectations or actions or functions. It's just there. Take the time to realize that it's okay, and then accept it. Take a breath, move on. Rinse and repeat.

Also, in my case, I'm not growing out my hair-- I actually love how it looks and frames my face while short. I grew it to my jaw during quarantine, and that took about 3 months from a faded short cut. It would probably be at my shoulders now (6 months) or past that if I totally let it go.

Hope this helps. Stay strong!

Depending how low you speak, yes. Like I said, I spoke so low and for such a long time that I injured my voice repeatedly into scarring over - same as someone who yells regularly or tries to force their voice too high might experience. Voices change with wear and tear, but especially if you put extra strain on them.

This is how I feel my life could have gone, honestly. I think it comes down to a very complex situation of societal expectation, internal identity, and overall wellbeing.

I will say, as someone who deals with judgemental people all day, every day- you can't decide others' feelings for you. They may judge you, not take you seriously, or maybe they actually really like you. That's not for you to decide.

What matters is that you learn to take yourself seriously. And let it show, because how you treat yourself largely influences how people treat you. Hold yourself with respect because you deserve it. It sounds like you don't believe that - learn to. You are respectable.

All the love, op.

I still ID as nonbinary to be honest, despite being for the most part detransitioned. It has been a way for me to be more honest with myself, decide against transitioning, and find alternative help for my dysphoria. I think I’d have gone through with it if I didn’t have that avenue to explore these old aspects of myself I at one point completely rejected.

I have autism and have a very complicated relationship with my gender, it’s what works for me.