This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user expresses a consistent, nuanced, and personal viewpoint that aligns with a Gender Non-Conforming (GNC) desister perspective. The language is natural, the arguments are developed, and the tone is emotionally congruent with a person who is passionate about this topic due to personal experience.
About me
I'm a woman who never felt I fit the narrow stereotypes of what a woman should be, so for a long time I thought I must be non-binary or trans. I realized my discomfort wasn't with my female body, but with society's expectations and my own internalized homophobia as a lesbian. I had only transitioned socially online, and I'm grateful I never pursued medical steps to change a body that wasn't the real problem. Now, I simply see myself as a gender non-conforming person who is at peace. I understand that my value isn't in a label, but in just being myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been confusing, but I think I’ve finally found a place of peace. I never felt like a "woman" in the way people usually talk about it. I just felt like me. For a long time, I thought that meant I was non-binary or maybe even trans, because the feeling of not fitting into that "woman" box was so strong. I spent a lot of time in online communities where everyone was talking about their gender identities, and it felt like I had to pick a label to explain why I felt different.
I realize now that a lot of my discomfort was with the expectations placed on women, not with being female myself. I hated the idea that because I was born female, I was supposed to act a certain way, dress a certain way, or want certain things. I think I have a lot of internalised homophobia to unpack, too. Being a lesbian, I felt pressure from all sides—from society's straight expectations and sometimes even from within the community about what a lesbian should be.
I started to see that gender itself is a kind of trap. It’s a little box people made to make you feel bad. The idea that you have to "feel like a woman" never made sense to me because what does that even mean? I feel like a person. I have a female body, and that’s just a fact. The way I dress or act doesn’t change that. I love masculine women and I think that's part of what confused me; I was attracted to a type of person and maybe mixed that up with wanting to be that person.
I only ever transitioned socially, by trying out different names and pronouns online. I’m really glad I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I think if I had, I would have major regrets now because it would have been me trying to fix a problem that wasn't really about my body. The problem was in my head and in society's rules. I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem, and I thought changing my gender would fix that. It was a form of escapism.
Now, I just see myself as gender non-conforming (GNC). I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me to this understanding. I don't think transition is wrong for everyone, but for me, it was a path based on misunderstanding my own discomfort. I benefited from stepping back and realizing that my body isn't the problem. Breasts don't make you a woman. Your value isn't in how well you fit a stereotype. The right person will love you for you, regardless of any of this stuff.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14-17 | Felt intense discomfort during puberty and pressure to conform to feminine stereotypes. Felt disconnected from the idea of being a "woman." |
| 18 | Started identifying as non-binary online, influenced by friends and communities I was in. Began using they/them pronouns. |
| 21 | Started questioning the entire concept of gender identity after realizing my feelings were more about social expectations (patriarchy) and internalised homophobia. |
| 22 | Stopped identifying as non-binary. Now identify as a gender non-conforming lesbian. I feel at peace just being myself without a specific gender label. |
Top Comments by /u/goosoe:
I'm a lesbian and I definitely don't value the women I date based on their body. That guy is just telling on himself, he's an asshole.
Breasts don't make you a woman. You have value and the person for you is out there. when you meet them they are going to love all you regardless if you decide to get another surgery or not.
They probably felt very insecure because they've never had their views challenged by someone who they cant just call a bigot. Im sorry you were attacked. Don't listen to people that assume just because they feel feminine or masculine they MUST go all in. Thats a one dimensional way of thinking and it harms people like us and the community in general.
I just GNC. I don't feel like a women or anything I just feel like me. You're obsessing over gender but gender isn't real. Its a little box people made to make you feel bad. If we were wild things we wouldn't give a fuck what our body looked like, we'd just take care ourselves and maybe the people we loved.
For some transition is the right answer but it only feels good because of the validation of others around you. You should decide what that means for you before you
And its ALL held up by the patriarchy. Just because YOURE not attracted to men in womens clothes doesn't mean hella people out there arent. I personally lust after masculine women because I like crossdressing women. Everybodys got their own personality and sexuality and we should just accept that as a society.
Idk wtf a fghag is but it sounds incredibly chronically online. But your obsession with gay men is probably due to misogyny and media. traditional Heterosexual relationships have strict gender stereotypes that suppress the woman and uplift the man. but gay relationships usually are depicted as more equal and fulfilling, at least in fantasy.
Are you saying women shouldn't dress like men? and vice versa? A person with a male body can be feminine because the way we define femininity has been tied to superficial things like behavior and clothing. I wouldn't tie masculinity to physical traits. Like if you wouldn't call a cis woman with strong features masculine to her face.