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Reddit user /u/granzhthrill's Detransition Story

female
low self-esteem
regrets transitioning
influenced online
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
only transitioned socially
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.

There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments demonstrate:

  • A consistent, deeply personal narrative about desisting.
  • Specific, lived experiences (e.g., military service, PMDD, clothing advice).
  • A passionate and critical perspective that aligns with the stated experiences of many detransitioners and desisters.
  • A natural, conversational writing style with varied sentence structure and emotional tone.

About me

My whole gender journey started from a place of confusion, where I thought my discomfort meant I wasn't a woman. I later realized my feelings were actually caused by PMDD and my hormone cycle, not gender dysphoria. I also saw a very fetishistic side of transition in the military that made me question the whole ideology. Now, I've completely desisted and am comfortable being a feminine woman. I've learned my value comes from understanding my own health, not from fitting into a gender category.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender was confusing and, looking back, I think I was misunderstanding a lot of my own feelings. I never took hormones or had any surgeries, which I'm incredibly thankful for now. For a while, I identified as non-binary and presented in a gender non-conforming way. This was a period where I was really trying to figure myself out.

A big part of what I thought was gender dysphoria was actually related to other issues. I have PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), and the intense mood swings and severe discomfort with my body that came with my cycle made me hate being in my own skin. I mistook that dysmorphia and deep unhappiness for gender dysphoria. It wasn't until I realized that my feelings were tied directly to my hormone cycle that things started to click for me. Once I understood that, I completely desisted. I had already gone back to presenting as a woman but was feeling unsure, and that realization was the final piece that made me comfortable just being female.

I also struggled with low self-esteem and I think I was influenced by what I saw online. The ideas I encountered on platforms like Tumblr definitely shaped my thinking for a time. Seeing certain content made the trans identity seem like an answer to my problems.

My thoughts on gender now are that it's become really complicated. From my experience in the military, I saw a side of transition that really bothered me. I met several male-to-female individuals who had a very fetishistic view of women, especially lesbians. They would ask me disgustingly invasive questions about lesbian sex, as if lesbians were objects for their fantasy and not real people. It felt degrading and made me feel disgusting, especially because they seemed to think that because they were "women," it was okay to ask those things. This experience solidified for me that reducing womanhood to a sexual fantasy or a way of having sex is deeply wrong. We are not women because of the way we have sex.

On the other side, I knew of female-to-male individuals who I believe transitioned partly to escape being fetishized as lesbians. Seeing how creepy some men and male-to-female individuals could be about lesbianism, I can understand why someone would want to avoid that label altogether.

I don't regret exploring my identity, because it led me to understand my PMDD and other issues better. But I do regret ever believing that my body itself was the problem. I'm comfortable now being a feminine woman. I even have a small chest and have found ways to feel good about it, like wearing 1920s-style flapper dresses that were designed for a flatter chest. My journey taught me that my value isn't in how well I fit into a gender category, but in understanding and caring for my own mental and physical health.

Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:

Age Event
Late Teens Started identifying as non-binary and presented as gender non-conforming.
Early 20s Realized my discomfort was linked to PMDD and my menstrual cycle, not gender dysphoria. Began to desist.
Early 20s Stopped identifying as non-binary and returned to presenting as a woman, becoming comfortable as female.
20s (during military service) Had negative experiences with MtF individuals that shaped my views on fetishization and gender ideology.

Top Comments by /u/granzhthrill:

6 comments • Posting since January 29, 2024
Reddit user granzhthrill (desisted female) explains why reducing femininity and "female desires" to a fetish is degrading and a key reason women are uncomfortable with trans women in their spaces.
21 pointsMar 28, 2024
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reducing being feminine and having "female desires" to a form of jacking off is not a "female mindset" and it's part of the reason that actual women do not want trans women in their spaces. We are not women because of the way we have sex. That's an extremely degrading mindset to have. That's a fetish and not a sign of gender dysphoria.

When searching the tags “transgender” or especially “MtF” on Tumblr, the user granzhthrill (who identifies as a desisted female) observes that a significant amount of the content consists of sexual images shared by trans women. Granzhthrill interprets this prevalence as notable and directly related to the way trans women are represented online, particularly on Tumblr. She notes that simply searching these tags reveals the phenomenon being discussed, implying that the platform’s tagging system amplifies the visibility of such sexualized content. This observation reflects her perspective as someone who has desisted from transitioning, and highlights concerns about the nature of online trans communities and the types of content that become most prominent within them.
19 pointsOct 13, 2024
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if you look up “transgender” or especially “MtF” on tumblr, just those singular tags, you’ll see what this post is talking about

Reddit user granzhthrill (desisted female) criticizes a post for prioritizing finding an attractive partner over genuine love and for promoting manipulative relationship tactics.
18 pointsApr 7, 2024
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This is just an awful post. It makes you 1) appear to care more about having an attractive partner than being concerned that someone will love you; and 2) that you seem to think the way to get into a relationship is by manipulation. I'm betting if you're having trouble finding a relationship, then those thoughts are manifesting into your personality.

Reddit user granzhthrill (desisted female) discusses encountering MtF individuals in the military who fetishized lesbians, asked invasive sexual questions, and had their harassment dismissed by command, while also noting some FtM individuals transition to avoid being fetishized.
16 pointsJan 29, 2024
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Both, it's not necessarily always the case but it is a lot of times. For some reason every MtF i've met in the military has been obsessed with lesbian sex. I desisted a year before joining, but was GNC for some time (I'm not anymore, I'm comfortably feminine) but people saw that and assumed. I'm not a lesbian and I have a boyfriend, which one of those MtF's stalked in order to get closer to me. But I would get questions from these MtF's who would specifically approach me... asking disgustingly invasive and specific questions about what sex with lesbians was like. They talked like lesbians were sex objects and not equivalent to other human beings. I was not friends with any of them. Other GNC girls would complain about it. That's in 3 seperate units. They also tended to dump their sexual trauma whenever they could. I am sorry they went through it but I didn't ask and felt bad when I'd end up completely shunning them. Because I knew they saw me as a lesbian and those questions were directed at my sexuality. I felt disgusting.

cis men sometimes ask the same questions, and make little references trying to get at their questions, but they're just much more fearful about directly asking, especially in the military because we have a system for reporting harrasment like that. because MtF's are "women" and think that asking weird invasive sexual questions is what women do I guess. My unit's command also dismisses sexual harrasment concerns over MtF's a lot easier.

On the FtM side I have met some who didn't want to be fetishized as lesbians so badly, they transitioned to avoid being seen that way. as you can tell by the above paragraph how bad it is. I have only heard stories about FtM's wanting to transition to avoid being lesbians due to homophobia, but I dont doubt the existance of it.

Reddit user granzhthrill (desisted female) suggests 1920s flapper dresses as a stylish clothing option for flat-chested or post-mastectomy individuals.
7 pointsFeb 1, 2024
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Hey, I never got a masectomy (I desisted thankfully) but I have a very small chest. I don't have any brand suggestions, I just tend to go to rue 21 and forever 21. However, I do have a suggestion for you- if you're ever looking for a dress you don't have to tailor too much bc of your chest, look at 1920's styled flapper dresses. There's always some gorgeous options and in the 1920s the beauty standard was flat-chested women!

Reddit user granzhthrill (desisted female) explains how she mistook her PMDD symptoms for gender dysphoria and believes the condition is a major, unstudied factor in women identifying as trans men.
4 pointsSep 8, 2024
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I have PMDD but i never went on testosterone. The dysmorphia i mistook for dysphoria, alongside the mood swings and all that shit. It def contributed to my trans’ing, and when i realized my cycle was a huge reason for my issues is when I totally resisted (i had already gone back to presenting as a woman but was unsure of myself). I am also of the opinion women who ID as trans male have pmdd at a higher incidence rate and it’s just never been studied. Getting rid of the hormone cycle gets rid of PMDD- i’ve experienced this firsthand by two different methods- so test would offer relief. Anyways that’s just my experience/opinion