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Reddit user /u/grayaeria's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 19 -> Detransitioned: 22
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
serious health complications
now infertile
body dysmorphia
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments display a consistent, passionate, and highly specific personal narrative about detransition, mental illness, and a negative experience within the domestic violence shelter system. The use of personal anecdotes, specific medical and institutional details, and emotional investment in the topic are all strong indicators of a real person sharing their lived experience.

About me

I started transitioning at 19 in New York, believing it was the answer to my deep unhappiness and discomfort with puberty. My doctors supported giving me testosterone even after I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, not realizing the hormones were triggering my severe manic episodes. I now see my drive to transition came from mental illness and a desire to escape, not from being born the wrong sex. The medical system failed me by not looking at my whole health, and I am now left infertile and dealing with the aftermath. I deeply regret it and have found healing through therapy that addressed my real issues.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition started because it felt like everyone else was doing it, and it offered a sense of instant community and acceptance. I saw it as a quick fix for my deep unhappiness. Looking back, I think I was heavily influenced by what I saw online; it seemed like the answer everyone was shouting about.

I have a serious mental illness. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in a New York State hospital. This is different from other mental health issues because it can include psychotic symptoms and really impacts your ability to function. At the time, my doctors were fully supportive of me continuing my medical transition with testosterone. But what we all failed to realize was that the testosterone was actually causing my manic episodes. Messing with my hormones like that had severe consequences, triggering mania and aggressive behavior that I hadn't experienced before. It's scary how in some places, they hand out hormones without considering these huge risks.

My discomfort really began during puberty. I hated the changes my body was going through, especially developing breasts. I now see this as a form of body dysmorphia and a deep discomfort with growing up, rather than a true problem with my sex. I think a lot of my drive to transition came from a place of low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. I was looking for an escape from myself and my life, and transitioning felt like the ultimate form of escapism.

I benefited from non-affirming therapy, but not until much later. Initially, everyone was just affirming my belief that I was born in the wrong body. No one really stopped to check if my gender dysphoria was actually a symptom of my bipolar disorder or rooted in other trauma. They treated gender dysphoria like it was its own separate thing that didn't affect my thinking, but believing you are a sex you're not is a mental illness in itself. People with gender dysphoria need proper psychiatric care to rule out serious mental illnesses or past trauma that could be causing those feelings.

I did take testosterone, and I deeply regret it. It had serious health complications for me, causing psychiatric issues I hadn't bargained for. I believe the medical system failed me by not looking at my whole health picture.

I also want to talk about spaces for women. I stayed in a domestic violence shelter that was supposed to be for women only. But the definition of "woman" was so broad that there were biological men there with full beards. These individuals had not undergone any medical or social transition; they didn't shave, they didn't dress as women, they would talk about their male anatomy. It felt completely unfair and unsafe for the vulnerable women seeking shelter from male violence. The shelter had almost no real resources anyway—no legal help, not even basics like metro cards or water. Its only defining feature was supposed to be a single-sex environment, and that was completely undermined.

My thoughts on gender now are that it's become a social trend, and for me, it was a business masquerading as love and community. I don't believe I was ever truly a man. My transition was a mistake driven by mental illness, a search for belonging, and a medical system that didn't ask enough questions.

I regret transitioning. The testosterone caused me significant harm, and I am now left dealing with the aftermath of that decision. I am infertile because of the hormones, which is a permanent consequence of a choice I never would have made if I had received proper care from the beginning.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
13 Started feeling intense discomfort with puberty and hated my developing breasts.
19 Began identifying as transgender and started socially transitioning.
21 Was diagnosed with bipolar disorder while in a New York State hospital.
21 Started taking testosterone. Doctors supported this despite my new SMI diagnosis.
22 Realized the testosterone was causing severe manic and aggressive episodes.
22 Stopped testosterone and began the process of detransitioning.
23 Underwent non-affirming therapy that helped me address the root causes of my dysphoria.

Top Comments by /u/grayaeria:

6 comments • Posting since January 9, 2025
Reddit user grayaeria (detrans female) comments about two biologically male individuals with full beards who are not socially transitioning being placed in a female domestic violence shelter.
14 pointsJan 23, 2025
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So your pfp means you're allowed to walk into a female domestic violence shelter with a full beard, talk about your penis to the womem there and yell the N word at black women? Tell me if that's right I would love to know.

There are trans women in this shelter. They are socially women. They shave every day, they dress like women, they are women here. These two men I speak of are not.

Reddit user grayaeria (detrans female) explains how testosterone caused her manic episodes, which were misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder by doctors who still encouraged her to transition.
12 pointsApr 14, 2025
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I was diagnosed bipolar in a New York State Hospital, and the doctors wanted me to continue my transition. When actually it was the testosterone itself causing me to have manic episodes. Depending on state jurisdiction, they will give hormones away like candy. And it's insane because messing with your hormones can cause other mental reactions not just mania but also aggressive behavior. Excess estrogen also lowers your mood.

Reddit user grayaeria (detrans female) explains the difference between Serious Mental Illness (SMI) and Gender Dysphoria, clarifying that while it is a mental illness, it does not involve psychosis or impede the ability to make sound decisions.
10 pointsJan 21, 2025
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I was just thinking about this yesterday actually. First want to say I'm not a doctor and this is not medical advice but I'm writing this as someone with an SMI.

SMI stands for Serious Mental Illness. The difference between a SMI and regular MI is the ability to function in day to day life. Another way to understand it is; can you develop psycotic symptoms?

Example:

These are all mental illnesses: Gender Dysphoria, Anxiety, Bipolar and Schizophrenia.

But only two of these are SMIs: Bipolar and Schizophrenia. These disorders have psycotic symptoms.

Even personality disorders and Major Depression Disorder have risks of psychosis.

Gender dysphoria is a legit mental illness, but it doesn't impede on the ability for the person suffering it to make cognitively sound decisions and distinguish reality. They do not see or hear things that do not exist. They do not suffer from psychosis.

However, it is a mental illness to belive that you are the sex that you are not. People with gender dysphoria need to undergo psychiatric care to ensure that they do not have a SMI and that there is nothing like trauma or abuse that could cause Gender Dysphoria.

Reddit user grayaeria (detrans female) explains that the appeal of transitioning is driven by social pressure and the promise of instant gratification, masking a business model with claims of love and community.
6 pointsJan 9, 2025
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I might actually write something on 6 the short answer is that everyone else is doing it, and it brings a sense of instant gratification. It's one of those things where everyone is yelling about how it's love and community while it's really just a business.

Reddit user grayaeria (detrans female) explains the lack of resources and true safety at her DV shelter, which she says only qualifies as one because it excludes men.
4 pointsJan 23, 2025
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I would learn how to reddit before you delete stuff and not make a consistent thread.

The only point of the shelter I'm in is that it's not mixed population. There's no legal help here. There's no train cards or even bottled water. They just want you to get your voucher and get out. The only thing that makes it a dv shelter is that there's supposed to only be women here.

Reddit user grayaeria (detrans female) comments on the lack of resources and the presence of male staff with felony records at a domestic violence shelter.
3 pointsJan 23, 2025
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There are no resources at our dv shelter. No legal, they won't give you metro cards, basically just case workers who are also in the system who just want you to get your voucher and leave. I don't even know why it's labeled a dv shelter honestly when we have men with felonies working there. They're also allowed to work their because their crimes were non-violent.

I'm pretty sure the only point of it is that there's not supposed to be a mixed population.