This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The user's comments demonstrate:
- A consistent, nuanced, and personal perspective on detransition.
- Empathetic advice drawn from lived experience.
- A coherent personal history (e.g., mentioning quitting HRT, seeking therapy).
- A passionate but reasonable tone that aligns with the stated experiences of detransitioners.
The account exhibits the expected passion and frustration of someone who has gone through a difficult experience with transition and subsequent detransition.
About me
I started feeling really uncomfortable as a man when I was a teenager, and I thought transitioning to female was the answer. I took hormones for about a year and a half, but I realized I was just trying to escape from male stereotypes and my own anxiety. The hormones made me feel emotionally out of control, and I stopped them when I was 19. Now I understand my discomfort was never about being the wrong sex, but about society's rigid rules and my personal struggles. I'm finally learning to be at peace as a man who doesn't have to fit a specific mold.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager, around 16. I was really uncomfortable with my body during puberty and felt a lot of pressure to fit into a specific idea of what a man should be. I didn't feel like I measured up, and I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem. I spent a lot of time online and found communities that seemed to have all the answers. They said my discomfort with gender roles and my body meant I was probably trans. It felt like an escape from all the pressure I was feeling.
I socially transitioned to female when I was 17. It felt exciting at first, like I had finally found a solution. I started taking estrogen when I was 18. But the further I went, the more I realized I was trying to become a stereotype of a woman, not myself. I was running from being a man because I thought I was a bad one. I also think internalized homophobia played a part, as I'm a bisexual man who is attracted to dominant women, and I felt that was somehow incompatible with being a "real man."
The hormones made me really emotional in a way that didn't feel right. I cried over everything, and it felt like I had no control. I started to realize I was using a new identity as a coping mechanism for my other issues, which included depression and anxiety. I stopped the hormones after about a year and a half, when I was 19. I was lucky and didn't have any serious long-term health complications from stopping. I take Finasteride for hair loss, but that's it. My emotions leveled out; I still cry, but it's for real reasons, not over little things.
Detransitioning was hard because the trans communities I was in kept telling me to just stick with it and that surgery would fix everything. They made me feel like I couldn't question it. This was the only place I found where people understood that sometimes transition isn't the right path. I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me to where I am now, but I deeply regret the medical steps I took. I regret that I was influenced so heavily online and that no therapist ever challenged me or tried to help me work through my underlying issues instead of just affirming the new identity.
I now believe that "trans" is just an identity label, and transitioning is a series of actions. You can't diagnose someone as trans. I think therapists should be allowed to help people explore their feelings without being pressured to push them in one direction or another. My discomfort was never about being the wrong sex. It was about hating the strict roles society forced on me and having a lot of personal issues I needed to work through. I'm learning to be comfortable as a man who doesn't conform to stereotypes, and that's okay.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Started experiencing significant puberty discomfort and anxiety. Felt pressure to conform to male gender roles. |
| 17 | Socially transitioned to female, influenced by online communities. |
| 18 | Started taking estrogen (HRT). |
| 19 | Stopped HRT. Began the process of detransitioning. |
| 20 | Joined detransition support communities for help. |
Top Comments by /u/happy-Bumbleb33:
Yeah not sure we want to be grouped in with conversion therapy clinics, we just need gender therapists or therapists in general to be allowed to counsel people without being compelled to push the individual one way or another due to pressure from lobbying groups
Detrans male here, I have no long term side effects from quitting hrt midway, I take Finasteride to stop hairloss (worked so far : 4y) i do cry sometimes but not over little things, I am not a monster for not getting emotional over little things that upset me. If you feel you are particularly detached from your emotions before and possibly after hrt talk to a psychologist this is not normal!
"Trans" is just an identity, transitioning is a process of changing your expression, going through hrt or surgery. No one can diagnose you as trans or not you can only diagnose gender dysphoria and no one can deny you were trans just because you detransition.
It seems your disphoria is based on super strict gender roles and vague "maybe I am trans" posts from the online trans community... So I'll make some things clear, you don't have to be trans, you don't have to identify as trans, opposing gender roles or not conforming to your sex stereotype doesn't make you trans.
Try experimenting with both "typically" masculine/feminine self expression and do what you enjoy in life, if your current environment is inhospitable to a non conforming person try to find somewhere you can be accepted.
If you don't feel comfortable asking for a cis women therapist then cancel your appointment and redo the paperwork correcting the "trans" part since it's not your current identity, if they ask why the change say you made a mistake on the paperwork they can't make a fuss about a ciswomen wanting a cis therapist
That's really subjective, to much of the trans community even suggesting transition "might not be a good idea for someone" or that "detransition is a good idea" is considered transphobic sooo.. while I don't believe it is others who look at this group may disagree
You obviously have a lot of issues that need to be addressed and I don't think transitioning or identifying should ever be used as a coping mechanism.
You don't need to become the "ideal" stereotypical women, experiment with your self expression til you find things that make you feel comfortable don't obsess over fitting a male or female role.
You don't need to be anyones saviour, sharing your experiences is more than enough
This was the only place I had to turn to after committing to detransition, every other trans group always pushed me to "try again" "get back on hormones and stick through it" "you'll feel better after surgery" it's the only place I have left with people who've gone through similar experiences and now I highly doubt detrans will be allowed to exist for much longer on Reddit, we need in the very least a backup server on a different platform.
I think I agree with most of what freesoul said I'll just add you might be interested in checking out r/rolereversal . Dominant men and submissive women are definitely the roles society pushes on us but not everyone wants that.
-bi male switch that loves dominant women ❤️