This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on these comments alone, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The narrative is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over a year and a half. The user describes a complex, multi-year personal journey with transition, the temporary benefits of testosterone, the difficult social consequences of detransitioning, and the long process of finding alternative coping mechanisms. This level of detail and emotional reflection is not typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I was born female and transitioned because I felt lost and didn't see a place for a straight woman like me who wasn't feminine. I lived as a man for years and started testosterone, which felt amazing at first, but the euphoria faded and my old depression and dysphoria returned. Letting go of that identity and detransitioning was incredibly difficult and I lost a lot of support. Finding non-affirming therapy and seeing other gender non-conforming women thrive showed me I could manage my dysphoria and build a life without medical intervention. I now live happily as a gender non-conforming woman, and while I don't regret the journey, I see it as a difficult path I needed to walk to find myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. I was born female, and for a long time, I felt deeply uncomfortable with the expectations that came with that. I didn't see any place for a woman like me, someone who was straight but very gender non-conforming. All the role models were either very feminine straight women or butch lesbians, and I felt completely lost in the middle with no one to look up to.
I started by transitioning socially. For about four years, I lived as a trans man, but I never really felt like I passed, and that was really hard. I thought medical transition was the answer to all my problems. Starting testosterone felt like freedom. For the first two and a half years, it was amazing. I felt ecstatic and euphoric; it was everything I had wanted.
But that feeling didn't last. After about two and a half years on T, things started to go sideways. The old feelings of depression and disassociation came creeping back, and so did the dysphoria. I had even booked top surgery, but I started missing appointments because I was depressed and scared. I realized that if I was going to be miserable anyway, I didn't want to also be spending all this money on hormones and doctor's appointments. So, around the three-year mark, I quit testosterone cold turkey. I just cancelled my next appointment and never went back. I also cancelled my top surgery plans.
Detransitioning was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Letting go of the idea of having a "gender identity" was incredibly difficult. The beginning of my detransition was one of the lowest points of my life. The social side was especially intimidating. A lot of people who had been super supportive of my transition just vanished or became hostile when I detransitioned. I was mocked and told my experiences didn't matter. I was fortunate that my parents were incredibly supportive through it all, and I had a few friends who stuck by me.
What really helped me in the long run was getting away from constant trans rhetoric online. I started following straight, gender non-conforming women on social media. Seeing them living kickass lives as GNC women completely changed how I saw myself and my future. I finally had a model for what I could be.
I also benefited massively from non-affirming therapy. Multiple therapists had told me that transition was the only way to deal with dysphoria, but that wasn't true for me. Cognitive behavioral therapy and actively working through my dysphoric feelings did far more good and far less harm than hormones ever did. I learned that dysphoria can be managed, just like other body-related mental health issues. I don't think I'll ever be totally free of it, but I've given myself the mental tools to deal with it when it pops up.
I don't exactly regret transitioning because it was a path I needed to walk to get to where I am now, but it does feel like a waste of over seven years of my life. I regret that I wasn't given other options sooner. I now see that a man is an adult human male and a woman is an adult human female, and that can't be changed. I fully support gender non-conformity—it brings me joy to see people expressing themselves—but I think medical transition is a huge step that makes you a lifelong medical patient and should be an absolute last resort for a very few people.
As for my name, I changed it back to my birth name as a sort of thank you to my parents for their support. Most people just use a neutral nickname now anyway.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| ~19-20 | Began social transition, identified as a trans man for about 4 years. |
| ~23-24 | Started testosterone (T). Felt euphoric and free. |
| 26 | After 2.5 years on T, depression and dysphoria returned. Booked then cancelled top surgery. |
| 26 | Stopped testosterone cold turkey and began detransitioning. |
| 26-27 | (~8 months after stopping T) Hormones settled down and body tenderness passed. |
| 27+ | Focused on therapy and building a life as a gender non-conforming woman. |
Top Comments by /u/harpyalt:
I was so happy when I saw coach Beiste on Glee. She's not even a super "masculine" or butch woman, but they covered a lot of topics/issues that many masculine straight women face.
.... Aaaaaand then they transed the character. Which I will always resent because it was one of the first times I was really exposed to the concept and might have had more than a little to do with how I saw myself at the time.
I feel like most of these could be essay questions! XD
- 2 + years? I think I had to come to terms with detransitioning before I could accept that transition was not going to help me, and that was a very slow process
- No they were not. Many people who were supportive during my transition were outright hostile regarding detransition. I was mocked or told that my dysphoria wasn't real and that none of my experiences mattered, that I should shut up and never talk about it because I was a threat to 'real trans people. My LGB friends who were more blase about my transition were fine with my detransition. I think my parents were a little dissapointed that I was 'giving up' on the thing that I promised them would make me happy.
- I never spoke to my medical provider about detransition. I lied and said I was moving away when I cancelled my last appt. Went cold turkey.
- A weird amount of political power, tbh. I think the new laws forbidding criticism are going to hurt people/kids. (not in the US per se, but in other countries) "To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize" -maybe not 'over' but you get my drift. As said above, my trans friends either disappeared or were very hostile.
- Yes and no? I support GNC folks wholeheartedly. Seeing a dude rocking a dress brings me genuine joy. Heck, I can even support cross-sex hormones as a form of body modification. That said, a man is an adult human male, and a woman is an adult human female. The idea that that can ever be changed, or that there isn't a morass of social issues that need to be untangled before people start claiming opposite sex pronouns is unrealistic. People that "need" to transition are so few and far between (it seems the majority are distancing themselves from the 'trans' community as is) and should be the literal exception to the rule.
- I really, really hope so, but I am a very pessimistic person who things that this will continue to hurt a lot of people in the future.
- Alternate, with a strong lean towards acceptance at this point. I don't think I'll every be totally free of dysphoria, but I have come to acknowledge that *many* people have moments of strongly disliking their body and that I can deal with it.
- Dysphoria can be worked with/managed, just like so many other body-related mental health disorders. While many effects of hormones are temporary, some are permanent. Transitioning is turning yourself into a life-ling medical patient. Plus, if you're unlucky, hormones can leave you with life long medical issues that will persist regardless of stopping/continuing to take them. Same goes for surgery.
- Probably a combination of both. There has been a massive surge in 'ftm' transitioners in recent years, so it's understandable that there would be more detransitioners.
- Believe us.
Thanks for the questions,
I don't know if I'm any happier, but I'm not unhappier. Of course, letting go of the comfortable delusion of my 'gender identity' was difficult. The beginning of my detransition was probably the second lowest point of my life, or perhaps the end of my transition period was the second lowest part of my life. It's complicated.
The difference between now and then, for me, is sustainability. I can exist, as *me*, without medications or artificial hormones and without paying for the privilege of just... being. It's taken work, a *lot* of work, but finally I'm comfortable as me. Of course there's moments where dysphoria rears its head, but I've given myself the mental tools I need to deal with it.
I can only imagine how much easier my life would have been, how much money I would have saved, if a therapist had been willing to work with me to combat my gender issues, instead of validating them.
See, there needs to be more discussion about alternate treatments for dysphoria. While socially transitioning and being on T did mitigate most of my dysphoria it was a) temporary and b) had long term health consequences. Cognitive behavioral therapy and actively working through my dysphoric feelings did far more good, and far less harm. Yet I was told by multiple therapists that transitioning was the only 'cure' for dysphoria.
It's not just fat distribution, T can cause the mammary glands to atrophy. After a year you've likely got some healing going on, which would make things literally swollen. Absolutely a bad idea to bind right now! At least wait until the tenderness passes.
Personally it took about 8 months for things to settle down, hormone-wise.
Socially transitioning was a long and difficult process, I was out but did not pass and very much knew it. That was about... 4? years? But medically transitioning was freedom and happiness and everything I had wanted for a long time. Ecstatic, euphoric, all the good feelings. ...For about two and a half years.
Then the stress started creeping back, the depressions, the disassociation, and eventually the dysphoria. I was booked in for top surgery at the time and I did end up "missing" several appointments from a combo of depression and fear of surgery.
Things got pretty bad and I figured if I was going to be this miserable, I might as well not be paying as much money as I was for hormones/endo appointments and surgery. So around the year three mark I quit T, cancelled top surgery, and started looking at alternate options for dealing with my mental health. Had more success than I ever would have believed possible. Hence the not going back.
Tbh, I could've possibly been just as happy staying on T- except I would be paying a heck of a lot of more money for it. (Maybe a little less happy then, I like my spending money) I don't really regret transitioning, but it does feel like a bit of a waste of 7+ years of my life.
It gets easier, just give it time. tbh I did the same for a good while. Tried to go easy on myself for it, it's not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I figure if you're here you're ready to acknowledge the whole reproductive sex reality thing; any gender stuff on top of that is just... extra. Perhaps try to think of yourself as a person first, 'girl'- aka 'young human female' - second?
T was awesome... for about two years. After that things started to go kinda sideways. Add in some minor health and major social issues that stemmed from passing as significantly younger then my age and I ended up detransitioning. It was scary, a lot of people in my life that had been so supportive suddenly vanished or became hostile. But I pulled through, and was fortunate that I did have some friends that had my back through the process. The mental process was also difficult, but the social change was, in a way, far more intimidating.
I hope it's not something you ever have to deal with, but if things start changing for you down the road, please don't be afraid to reexamine medical transition and weather or not it's still genuinely improving your quality of life. There shouldn't be any shame in that.
I changed my name and changed it back. Most of the people who knew me as my masculine/trans name disappeared from my life when I detranstitioned and my family had been using a neutral nickname that was a shortened version of both; which is what I use all the time now despite switching back legally. Not sure where that falls on the scale of scale of old name - new name.
Honestly the the idea of picking a new name was always super appealing, but switching back to my birth name was kinda of a 'thank you' to my parents. They were both incredibly supportive during my transition and detransition and it felt like a good way to acknowledge that.
Hey, I was in a similar boat for a long time - only I ended up on T for 2.5 years. Not worth it and I absolutely regret it. Definitely do not recommend.
What did help was finding straight/straight partnered bi GNC women on social media. Getting away from constant trans rhetoric and seeing the way these women were living kickass lives as GNC women made a huge difference in the way I was able to see myself, and more importantly, my future.
It's so difficult being a straight GNC woman because there isn't anything for us. There no "I wanna be like her when I grow up". Either it's conforming straight women or GNC lesbians but there's never anything in between. It's brutal and it's so easy to get lost.