This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. The user's posts are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and show a consistent, evolving internal narrative focused on grappling with gender dysphoria, internalized misogyny, and societal pressure. The language is natural, with self-corrections and varied sentence structure that is difficult for a bot to replicate. The views expressed are complex and align with known perspectives of detransitioners/desisters who are critical of gender ideology and transition. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic account.
About me
I'm a masculine woman who started feeling intense discomfort with being female as a teenager because of all the social pressures. I realized my problem wasn't with my body, but with society's narrow expectations of what a woman should be and look like. I was tempted to transition to escape that pressure, but I knew becoming male wouldn't feel right for me either. I never took hormones or had surgery, and instead worked on my self-esteem and learning to reject those harmful norms. I'm now at peace just being myself, a masculine woman who is comfortable in her own skin.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I’m a female, and around 17 or 18, I started feeling really uncomfortable with being called a woman or a young lady. It made me cringe because it felt like it came with all these expectations I couldn't live up to. I’m a lesbian, and I’ve always dressed in what people would call a masculine way—like a “12 year old boy,” as I joked. I don’t like makeup, I don’t shave my legs unless I feel pressured to, and I find performative femininity completely foreign and fake. I tried presenting in a feminine way for a couple months, but it just felt like I was putting on a costume.
I realized my discomfort wasn’t with being female itself, but with what society says a woman should be. I hated the pressure to be a sexual ornament for male attention. I saw my friends change into these girly-girls obsessed with fashion and makeup, and I felt like a freak for not understanding it. I felt like an outsider. I started to think that if gender roles didn’t exist and it was normal to be a masculine woman, I wouldn’t have any dysphoria at all. I like my female body, but I resented it because of how society treats women.
For a while, the idea of transitioning was tempting. It felt like an escape from all that pressure. I could see why so many gender-nonconforming people are drawn to it. But I knew deep down that passing as a male wouldn’t solve my problems. I couldn't imagine looking like my brother and calling myself a man; that wouldn’t feel right either. I just wanted to be accepted for who I am—a masculine woman.
I spent a lot of time in online spaces, and I saw how trans groups can become echo chambers. They validate every thought of being trans without ever questioning it, and they shut down anyone who disagrees. I worried that a lot of people, especially young girls like me who are just uncomfortable with sexism and gender roles, are being led down a path they’ll regret. I never took hormones or had any surgeries. For me, it was all about social pressure and internalized misogyny.
I don’t believe in “feeling like a woman.” I am a woman, and that’s a biological fact, not a feeling. I think the idea that you can “feel” like a gender has caused a lot of confusion and made people dissociate from their own sex. There’s nothing wrong with wearing men’s clothes or having masculine interests; it doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
I have no regrets about not transitioning. I’m glad I worked on my self-esteem instead and learned to not give a fuck what society expects. My goal is to just be who I am. I think a lot of people rush into transition thinking it will save them, but for many of us, the real work is in accepting ourselves and rejecting harmful social norms.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 17 | Began to intensely hate the social pressures of being female and performing femininity. Felt like an outsider. |
| 18 | Realized my discomfort was with gender roles, not my sex. Decided against social or medical transition and chose to work on self-acceptance as a masculine woman. |
Top Comments by /u/hejqkocesns:
Trans groups are such an echo chamber of mental illness. They all try and validate each other and eachothers transtitioning. They don't question anything and reject outside opinions unless it fits their narrative/supports them. Everyone they don't agree with is shut down as a terf. They are hurting themselves in the end. I think there will be a lot of regret in the next 10 years seeing how popular transitioning is.
Exactly how can anybody define 'feeling like a woman'. I don't feel like one, I just am one. Assigning biology feelings is just destructive and wrong. I feel all kinds of things but I don't 'feel like a woman' cause it's not a feeling.
I think talking about gender as a 'feeling' has also worked to disociate more people from their own sex and gender. Many women don't feel feminine and men don't feel masculine, so they come to the conculsion they aren't real men or women.
I'm disgusted by being perceived as female, being treated as female
I know this is complicated, but what is wrong with being perceived as female? What is being 'treated as female?' This sounds like a bit of internalized misogyny.
Tired of walking by the men's clothing department seething with envy and anger. Tired of trying to find joy in femininity, tired of eschewing femininity
You can still wear clothes from the mens section. I'm a woman and I wear mens clothes because I like to. It's not wrong to wear mens clothes and not be a man. I don't care if people try and shame me for it, it's just fabric that I like.
You don't need to find joy in femininity. I don't, I don't need to be feminine/pretend to be/accept femininity. I try to just be myself. Feminine clothing, makeup, attitudes, whatever, is all made up. We are raised to be feminine as women, it's not natural. Women and men are naturally all individuals.
What's wrong with wanting to look male?! Even if there's no such thing as becoming male, what is the sin in wanting to present as a guy??
In my opinion. Transitioning reinforces gender roles. Masculinity = man, femininity = woman. It's not true. A female can be a masculine woman and lead a perfectly good life. Nobody is 'born in the wrong body', or 'trapped' in the sex they were born as. These ideas come from the sexist society we're born into. Society makes you feel wrong for being a masculine woman, it takes so much courage to accept yourself for who you are. It makes you think because you're a masculine woman, you're really a man.
I'm not judging, it sucks the world we live in. I can relate to what you feel. For me I want to be a man but I also don't. I just want to feel good enough, comfortable, I want to fit in. I hate how I see being trans as an escape or the forbidden fruit. It's so tempting, but it truly isn't what I want.
I'm really sorry you went through that. I'm 17 yr old female, I started hating being female sometime in teen years. It's definetly internalized misogyny and the pressure of performative femininity. I feel like I freak for not being interested in feminine clothing or wearing make up. I shave my legs because I feel pressure and I usually only wear shorts. I hate how society makes women into sexual ornaments for mens eyes. I don't want male attraction. It's all such bullshit. Girls start changing during teen years, into makeup and fashion loving girly girls, I feel like it's a joke I can't understand. Where are all the normal, natural, free, real women?? Where have my friends gone?
It gets better. I have dysphoria as a female and I'm trying to accept myself. If gender roles didn't exist and the world accepted me as a "masculine" woman/it was normal to be like me, I don't think I would have dysphoria. I try and imagine a world that would make me feel good as who I am and that keeps me going.
If you kept going you could've had to live with really big regrets, it could be a lot worse. I hate when people talk about 'being grateful' cause it doesn't fix the problem. But try gratitude that you still look the same, your body is healthy, your hairline is good, you look female, you recognize yourself in the mirror. A deep voice sucks but it's not the worst scenario. You are still the same person you were before, now your voice is just a little deeper.
I have deep self harm scars on my arm, I regret them. But I have accepted that they are a part of me, it shows how strong I am, how I can make it through things... It could be worse, I could be dead instead.
what did you use to measure the male/female voice?
If you want to be a woman then you are a woman. Wearing mens clothes don't make you a man, nor does your breasts issues. Your aren't too ugly or weird to be a girl, accept yourself. If you just had this feeling to be a transman now and it hasn't been a long drawn out issue then I wouldn't take it seriously.
I'm an 18 year old female and I feel uncomfortable being called a woman too because of it's connotations. I don't conform to gender roles. I guess society would call my behaviour/clothing choices masculine? Presenting femininly is foreign to me, I tried for a couple of months last year but it just felt fake.
I cringe when my mother calls me a young lady. I can imagine a young lady and I don't feel like I fit that image. I don't like makeup, fashion, shave my legs so I feel like a bit of an outsider. I am also a lesbian so that adds to the not fitting in part. I dress like a '12 year old boy' lol. I don't feel like I measure up to what society wants from me.
I don't think passing as a male would solve those problems for me. I can't imagine how looking like my brother and calling myself a man would feel better. I just want to be who I am and stop feeling like I need to feminize myself to be acceptable. If I saw more girls like me who didn't conform to gender roles, I don't think I would have these problems. I like my female body but at the same time I resent it because of society, it's a double edged sword. I'm gonna keep being who I am and try to work on my self esteem and not give a fuck what society says a woman should be.
There's no rush for you to figure yourself out and transition or anything. Be kind to yourself and don't rush these things. I think a lot of gnc people think transition will save them from these issues but then they live to regret it.
You're not transgender. This is just you're OCD, I don't know anything about OCD, but you sound paranoid. You don't have to accept life as a man or become a man. If you don't want to be a man, then you wont have to become one. Maybe find a psychologist and talk to them about these intrusive thoughts? If you like having boobs and don't want a penis then you're definetly not trans. You aren't going to have to become trans. Your thoughts aren't reality, try mindfulness? And tell yourself you're just obsessing over something like you would anything else.