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The user's writing is emotionally charged, complex, and deeply personal, reflecting the stated passion and pain of someone who has lived this experience. The comments show internal consistency in their worldview, a clear personal stake in the issue, and a narrative of ongoing personal struggle, which is difficult to fake convincingly.
About me
I was born female and my journey started with a deep discomfort with womanhood, which I later realized came from trauma and a fear of how men saw me. I thought becoming a man was the only answer, so I changed everything about myself and even took hormones for years. Therapy helped me understand that my body wasn't the problem, but my mind and my unresolved pain were. I deeply regret transitioning and now see it was a mistake based on my own confusion and suffering. I'm now in my mid-twenties, still working in therapy to fully accept myself as a woman and find peace.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was very young. I was born female, but I never felt like I fit in with the idea of being a woman. For a long time, I thought this meant I was supposed to be a man. I now see that my feelings came from a lot of deeper issues, like trauma, low self-esteem, and a deep discomfort with how I was seen by others, especially men.
I was very attracted to men, but the idea of being with a man as a woman filled me with a sense of humiliation and disgust. It felt like being overpowered and reduced to just a body. I had one brief relationship with a guy; I was attracted to him, but I couldn't stand him touching my female body. This conflict made me think that if I were a man, I could escape that feeling. I now believe this was a form of internalized homophobia, where my attraction to men felt incompatible with being a woman.
I spent years trying to become a man. I focused on everything – my clothes, how I stood, how I spoke. I looked for male role models to copy because I thought that was the answer. I was convinced that transitioning was the only way to find peace. I took hormones for a period of time. I lost a lot of my best years to this delusional thinking.
What finally started to change for me was therapy. It wasn't the kind of therapy that just affirmed my transgender identity; it was therapy that made me look at the root causes. I had to face my trauma and my wrong perceptions about the world. I started to realize that the problem wasn't my body, but my mind. I had a lot of anger about how men and women are in the world, and I thought changing myself was the only way to cope. I’ve come to see that masculine and feminine dynamics are a part of life, and the real work is learning to adapt and find strength within my own skin, not run from it.
I don't believe anyone can truly change their gender. We are born male or female, and trying to fight that only leads to more pain in the long run. The promise of happiness on the other side is a lie. The gold we're digging for is actually right here, within our own birth gender, but we have to be willing to look for it. Life is hard for everyone, and this path just adds another layer of suffering.
I deeply regret transitioning. It was a mistake based on my young age and ignorance. I was influenced by what I saw online and by my own unresolved psychological problems. I want to help others avoid making the same mistake. I know not everyone will listen, but if I can plant a seed of doubt in one confused teen's mind, it's worth it. We need to focus on treating gender dysphoria by helping people accept their birth gender. It's a painful and hard journey, but it's the real one.
I'm still working on myself. I've only made a small progress, and I'm still in therapy. The feeling of humiliation around my sexuality is something I'm still trying to overcome. But I know it's not permanent. We can change our perceptions. I believe that one day, more people will see the truth about this. We can't be silent, because it's our children and other vulnerable people who will suffer next.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Teens | Started feeling intense discomfort with being female and attracted to men. Began to believe I was meant to be a man. |
| Around 17 | Started socially transitioning, trying to act and look male by changing behavior and clothing. |
| Around 19 | Began taking testosterone hormones. |
| 22 | Started a non-affirming therapy that made me question my transition. Began to understand the role of trauma and internalized homophobia. |
| 23 | Stopped taking hormones. Realized I had been living a delusion and began the process of detransition. |
| Present (mid-20s) | Still in therapy, working on accepting myself as a female and overcoming deep-seated issues. |
Top Comments by /u/helpinghand2222:
There are many things that get ignored. What is worse people who want to spread the truth are suffocated.
Young people are YOUNG, they don't know anything about life. People change, they change. However, decisions we make when we are young and ignorant sometimes screw up our lives.
That's very sad and it became a well-known truth. The ones who want to see will see it, and the ones who don't want to will not see an elephant if you put him in front of their eyes.
We must be loud, we who see the truth. It's for the children and confused teens. I don't want to see anyone anymore suffer from this. We must focus on how to treat gender dysphoria, how to accept one's birth gender. It is painful, it is hard but worth it since it is eternal, we will never be able to change our gender really, we need real peace. The pain and suffering are waiting for everyone even if they go in the opposite direction with the difference that they will lose their time. They want to dig the gold and there is no gold on the other side. We already have it on ours, we must look for it. Life is hard for everyone anyway.
It's not only about the physical look. Considering that you can have a serious face expression if you don't have one. You can stop worrying about your face, it's not so much of a problem. The clothes you wear are more important, how you stand, how you speak etc. but the most important is your behavior. Find good male role models to copy.
I lost my life, my best years in delusional thinking. I want to help others. Not everyone can be helped. Those who want to listen will listen. I would like that someone told me what I told now, when I was a young teen or a child. I focus on myself too, I didn't overcome my problem. I see it but I need many solutions. I only made a small progress. I still follow a therapy and the day will come when I will be able to speak clearly and nobody will stop me. It is good that many people who are confused and reject their gender see my message and the messages of other people who are speaking the truth like me. Let the doubt come into their mind. One day the doubt will become curiosity, acceptance, courage to change and a wish to help others as well. We can't be silent about this matter. It is that important. Any problem related to someone's sexuality is unbearable torture that influences every step we make. One day it could be my child, or your child. I don't want anyone to suffer like this. It is not necessary. We can be happy with our own gender, it is possible. One day, the truth will come out and people will speak more and more, it can't be hidden. Stop being so selfish and ignorant!
There are people who accepted their birth gender and they are fine now. I don't know why they don't come here and speak more. Perhaps they lost interest and don't want to spend more time with this. Some people don't know about this sub and they aren't active online. Read about Walt Heyer, he wrote a book about his experiences. You will not listen if you don't listen now. I don't have to serve you any solutions. You have to make them on your own. What is worse, I think I could offer some help and solutions to the people here but nobody would want to listen to me. What happened to me is like a fantasy, I don't want to be considered crazy. I already wrote something but I was downvoted and my post was erased. If you will wait for some help..you will die and never see it. Many people who want to say the truth are suffocated. Be active and read, research, be ready to get out of your comfort zone, nobody will do it for you.
I feel very strongly attracted to men but this seems to exist at odds with the fact that the idea of being desired as a woman, or having sex with a man as a woman upsets me. I have an almost violent reaction to the thought of it (I wish I could understand why disgust is such a common theme). It makes me feel a sense of humiliation. I had one (very brief) relationship with guy and I was attracted to him but I could barely stand to let him touch my female body (we never went much further than kissing).
I have the same problem and I will be very grateful to the people who help us deal with this feeling. It's like not wanting to be overpowered. Men have power over women. Their strength, their body size, dominant behavior... plus they are very sexual and women are seen as sex objects. It would be very helpful that women who actually felt this way but overcame it, tell us how they did it.
This is very hard for me to overcome, I feel you and you are not the only one. I feel the humiliation too. I don't have friends now and if you have them, you can speak with normal women to help you and give you their own opinions and experiences with this because they don't feel humiliated, they like it.
Do you think this is a permanent thing that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life?
It's not permanent. You can grow out of it with time, who knows. I think we have to work a lot to change our perceptions, our view of the world. Masculine-feminine dynamics will never change, we must get adapted to it whether we like it or not. It is difficult but possible.
It sounds arrogant but I tell the truth. I am not arrogant. I want to help people. I am in the same shit as they are. I made a long research and I followed a therapy. I read a lot about this matter. They aren't really happy, that's a lie. They lie to themselves. Deep down they know the truth unless they became crazy and they lost their conscience. We don't have exact information how they feel and whether they regret. Even they don't want to admit. My conclusion is simple and based on truth. I don't need their opinions and words to know they made a mistake. I know I will be downvoted. Think deeply. Normal persons don't want to change their gender. We have many psychological problems. We are pressured to change our gender because of our traumas, wrong perceptions. We live in a sick society in general, whether it is America or China. Men abuse their power in many ways and many humiliate women, women are immoral and can be aggressive etc. We all have a demon inside us. If we lived in some happy place none of that would happen. People react differently to problems and traumas, unfortunately we reacted the way we reacted...