This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's comments are nuanced, emotionally varied (from anger to support), reference personal experiences with ASD and desisting, and show a consistent, evolving perspective over a six-year period. This is consistent with a genuine user.
About me
I was born male and my social struggles with masculinity made me think life would be easier if I were a woman. I now see that my autism and low self-esteem were the real issues, not my gender. I identified as non-binary for a while but never medically transitioned, and I'm glad I didn't. I realized changing my gender was a form of escapism that wouldn't solve my deeper problems. I've detransitioned and am now just focusing on being myself, without any labels.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started because I never felt like I fit in. I was born male, but I never really got the hang of the "masculine" expectations everyone seemed to have. I have ASD, and I think that played a huge part. The social rules for being a guy felt confusing and overwhelming. From my perspective at the time, it just seemed so much easier to be on the other side of the fence, to be a woman. I thought that if I was a woman, all the social difficulties I had would just disappear. It was a kind of escapism, I guess, thinking the grass was greener over there.
I see now that a lot of my feelings were tied up with my autism and low self-esteem. I was very self-conscious, even though there's this old stereotype that autistic people aren't. I also saw how a friend of mine was influenced by trauma from family abuse to transition, and it made me wary of people jumping into things without looking at the deeper reasons. I started to question the whole system, especially how doctors can push an agenda instead of really helping you figure out what's going on. I compared it to anorexia, where a harmful condition is validated instead of treated.
I never fully transitioned medically. I identified as non-binary for a while, but I never took hormones or had any surgery. For me, it was mostly a social thing, trying to find a place where I felt I belonged. Over time, I realised that transitioning wasn't the solution to my problems. My problems were my social anxiety, my autism, and my low self-worth. Changing my gender wasn't going to fix that.
I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me to a better understanding of myself. But I do regret not looking deeper into my own mental health first. I benefited from stepping back and questioning everything. My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complex and often used as a simple answer for very complicated feelings. For me, it wasn't the answer. I'm comfortable now just being me, without needing a specific label.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenage Years (exact age unclear) | Started feeling intense social discomfort and confusion about male social expectations. Felt life would be easier as a woman. |
| Early 20s (exact age unclear) | Identified as non-binary as a way to cope with not fitting in. This was a social transition only. |
| Mid-Late 20s (exact age unclear) | Began to seriously question my transition motivations, linking them to my ASD and social anxiety rather than an innate gender identity. |
| Present Day | Detransitioned socially. Now understand my journey was more about escapism and self-esteem. I live without a gender label and focus on my overall mental health. |
Top Comments by /u/hiddenone46:
A lot of people make this connection. Personally I don't see any difference. Some people would argue "but transitioning works!" And if that's the case we would see a significant improvement in those people post transition, but this sub shows that it isn't all that way. The suicide rates show this better than anything. I think people just see it as a "less damaging effect" than accepting anorexia, but I don't feel like that's a fair excuse.
I know the feeling. A friend of mine went through some pretty bad family abuse and started behaving a lot like their sister right before transition. I wanted to speak out to the obvious harms and potential "jumping the gun" involved but I was just shut down by that sentiment. It's hard, and these echo chambers don't make it any better for them.
Why did a second doctor come in at all? Doesn't that break doctor-patient confidentially? Did you make sure this wasn't an affirming doctor?
It seems like as usual they're trying to push their own agenda instead of actually trying to help. I would say go find someone else. You deserve better after all of this.
Oh yeah, trust me you have got nothing to worry about. Even if you don't do anything else to change your look you still come across as female and there's plenty that you can still do to look prettier, if that's your goal. But honestly, you don't need to be worried about looks, people way overthink flaws in their own look than most will see in them. You definitely still look attractive to people, and you're definitely not "ugly" like you say. Don't worry about it girl, you're better than what you think of yourself.
As someone with ASD, it's supposedly super common for people with it to not be self-conscious (at least that was the medical theory for a long time) even to the point where I was misdiagnosed several times because I was very self-conscious, so that's still part of the stereotype.
Never fully MtF, but aside from the common "grass is always greener" point, I felt like I never quite fit in with "masculine" expectations. And given my social issues, it wasn't even just "not being manly" it was a lot of the expectations of being a man. I know (now) that there are a lot of outrageous expectations on both sides, but from where I was at the time it just felt much "socially easier" to be on the other side of the fence. Part of it had a lot to do with my ASD acting up, but it made me feel like I would be better off socially on the other side. Not sure if I made much sense, but just trying to give my perspective.