This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on these comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it's a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The narrative is highly specific, emotionally raw, and internally consistent. It details a complex personal history of family coercion, medical transition under pressure, and the subsequent desire to detransition. The user expresses nuanced feelings of resentment, fear, and desperation that are consistent with the experiences of genuine detransitioners. The language is natural, with personal reflections and responses to other users that don't resemble scripted bot behavior.
About me
I was pressured into transitioning by my controlling mother, who I believe wanted to turn her gay son into a daughter. My body was permanently changed by hormones that stunted my growth and made me feel completely unnatural. I deeply regret it and feel like manhood was stolen from me, leaving me insecure and afraid I'll never be accepted as a gay man. I've given up on seeking my mother's approval and am now trying to be brave enough to ask my dad for help to detransition. I am finally doing this for myself.
My detransition story
My entire transition feels like it was something that happened to me, not something I chose for myself. It started with my mother. She was always controlling, planning my whole life out for me. I now believe she was vicariously living through me. When I was younger, a neighbour even called CPS because they heard our intense fighting. A psychologist talked to me, but I was only 12 and my mom had told me they would take me away to a horrible place where I'd be beaten and violated. I was scared, so I lied and said everything was fine.
I think my transition was, for her, a way to have the daughter she never had. I was born male and I am attracted to men, so I'm a gay man. I feel like my transition was a form of conversion therapy, an attempt to turn her gay son into a straight daughter. I was complacent in the beginning because I was young and wanted her approval, but I eventually told her I didn't want to do it anymore. She never listened. She invested so much money and time into it and would make me feel guilty for not being happy. I feel a lot of resentment toward her for that.
I was put on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) a long time ago, and it has feminized my body significantly. It stunted my growth, which I'm very insecure about. My brother is over 180cm tall, and I probably would have been tall too if it wasn't for the hormones. I hope I can still grow a bit now. I was told by a trans girl online that I'd have to take testosterone injections for the rest of my life and would still look girly, which was really discouraging. I thought detransition was impossible for me, which made me feel hopeless.
I never had any surgeries. I was never going to have SRS. I know that intersex is not a third sex, and since I don't have that condition, it doesn't apply to me. I'm not a woman and I'm tired of playing pretend.
My thoughts on gender are that you cannot change your biological nature. I was born a boy. This feminized state I'm in is not my natural state of being. It feels artificial and wrong for me. I feel like manhood was stripped away from me. I was deprived of a normal life. Transitioning completely messed up my mental state.
I deeply regret transitioning. It was not my choice and it has caused me a lot of pain. I feel like a puppet. There's nothing about me that feels genuinely me. I'm scared of being rejected, especially in dating. I know I have very slim chances of dating other gay men because I'm way too feminized. I worry that bi guys might be attracted to me but wouldn't really see me as a man, and that bothers me a lot. I've accepted that I won't have a relationship or sex unless I can successfully detransition.
I'm now trying to detransition. I'm desperate to start. I'm afraid to ask my dad for help because I'm scared he might prefer a trans daughter over a gay son, or that he might tell my mother. Things could go south very quickly if she finds out. I don't know if I can live with my dad, as he has another family now and I've lost touch with my family. I have an older brother, but I haven't seen him in two years. I'm trying to be brave and ask for help anyway because I need to do this for me. I've given up on chasing my mother's impossible love so that I don't have to give up on myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | A neighbour called CPS due to intense fighting at home. I lied to the psychologist out of fear, saying everything was fine. |
| ? | Started hormone replacement therapy (HRT) under the influence of my mother. This stunted my growth. |
| ? | Realized I did not want to continue transitioning but was not listened to by my mother. |
| Present Age | Deciding to detransition, seeking help from my father, and preparing to stop HRT. |
Top Comments by /u/hiikyu:
I don't trust my mother, I've been trying to talk to her for years but she thinks she knows better, my mom vicariously lives through me, she already planned my whole life, I don't know if she genuinely thinks she's doing something good for me, maybe she doesn't care I'm not happy. She always makes me feel guilty she invested so much money and time on me but it's not like I didn't try to say I didn't want this
I know what she did was wrong, I feel quite guilty because I was complacet in the beginning but after some time I told her I didn't want to do it anymore but she never listens. I am very resentful of my mother. I go to a psychologist already but he's the one who helped me transition I don't know if he would help me detrans, he's specialized in trans issues but I don't feel like I can trust him. I'm very insecure about my height especially because my brother is over 180cm and I probably would've been tall too if wasn't for HRT, hopefully I can still grow a bit, thank you for the info
Thank you for the info, I didn't know there was a change someone as feminized as me could manage to succefully detrans, a trans girl I met online told me I'd have to take testosterone injections for the rest of my life and I'd still look girly so that discouraged me a lot, not like I wouldn't be willing to try, I really want to, but I'm trying to get used to the idea that I'll never look like a real man. I want to talk to my dad about it but I'm scared he might tell my mother or something, I don't think he will but I'm still scared it might happen, I'll have to be brave tho
I don't how my dad feels about my transition, I'm afraid he might prefer a trans daughter over a gay son too, things could go south very quickly if he tells my mother I asked his help to detransition, I don't think he would do this to me but the possibility kept me from saying anything. I'm quite desperate now so I'll have to ask for his help, even if it's risky. I don't know if I can live with my dad tho, he has another family now. I lost touch with my family, I have an older brother but I haven't seen him in 2 years idk if he'd be willing to help me, but he doesn't have a good relationship with our mother either so that makes me think he wouldn't be hostile. I don't know what's Munchausen by proxy but I'll look into it, thank you for your advices
My mother was indeed very cruel, I was conflicted for a very long time, I felt bad for not loving her and wanting to get away from her, because the abuse didn't seem so clear at the time, but now I know I'm not being ungrateful. Someone might love me for who I am but they'll never find me attractive, unless they have some sort of fetish. I don't think I'll ever be able to date
A neighbour called CPS when I was younger because he heard us fighting (it was pretty intense), a psychologist talked to me but I lied, I said everything was fine, because my mom told me they would take me away and I'd live in a horrible place where other children would beat me and violate me... I was 12 so I belived her. Well, I'll see if they can help me now. I'm afraid they'll try to contact my mother tho, that would make things worse
I'm not going to have SRS, intersex is not a third sex and even if it was a third sex I don't have this condition so it doesn't apply to me, I'm not a woman and I'm tired of playing pretend, hopefully I'll be able to start detransitioning soon. Honestly I did not come to this sub to hear more of trans ideology/queer theory.
Sometimes it is hard to see what is you and what is what others want you to be.
Yes, it's very hard for me. There's nothing about me that feels genuinely me. I feel like a puppet. I guess I'm just scared of being rejected, my mom loves me and treats me well now, but I know there's no such thing as unconditional love and her love is very limitated... I'm tired of chasing the impossible, I have given up on her so I don't have to give up on me
I'm not biologically female, I was born a boy, changing our biological nature is impossible. I've been on HRT for a very long time now but when I stop taking the pills my body will slowly recover. They won't see me as a man now because I've been feminized, but I'm still a man regardless.
No, I mean like this is not my natural state of being. This is not who I am and it was not my choice. If someone else feels like they're their real self after transitioning good for them, but I don't feel comfortable in this feminized body, I don't feel a connection to womanhood or the femininity that was imposed on me. You could say it was "iran style", it wasn't enforced by the government but it's the same concept, turning gay men into "straight women".