This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user expresses complex, personal, and emotionally nuanced thoughts about their gender questioning, therapy, and medical advice. The language is natural, with self-reflection, contradictions, and a conversational tone that is difficult to automate. The comments show a clear, evolving engagement with the community's advice, which is consistent with a genuine desister or detransitioner seeking perspective.
About me
I started questioning my gender as a teenager, feeling a lot of pressure to figure everything out quickly. My doctor and therapist were honest about the permanent effects of medical transition, so I banked sperm as a precaution. I realized that a lot of my confusion was just part of being a young man and growing up. I never went through with medical transition, and I'm glad I didn't rush into anything permanent. Now, I'm just focused on being comfortable as myself without any specific label.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been confusing and, looking back, I think a lot of it was about being young and struggling with other parts of my life. I started questioning my gender when I was a teenager. At first, I identified as a feminine guy, and that felt okay for a while, but something about the "guy" part still didn't feel right to me. I felt a lot of pressure to figure it out quickly, and my emotions were so intense that it felt like there was a rush, even when people told me there wasn't.
I was in therapy at the time, but not specifically for gender issues. I was dealing with academic stress and family trouble. My therapist was a good person and didn't seem to have an agenda to push me toward transition, which I appreciated. He, along with my doctor, was very honest with me about the realities of medical transition. They both warned me about the possibility of becoming sterile from hormones or puberty blockers. Because of that, my doctor didn't want to prescribe me puberty blockers until I banked sperm, which I did. That gave me some peace of mind about my future, even though my doctor mentioned that by the time I wanted kids, there might be other options available.
A big part of my doubt came from realizing that biological sex can't actually be changed. I found it hard to understand why people would change the sex on their legal documents because, medically, your biological sex will always be relevant. Accepting that was tough, but I knew it was the truth. I just wanted to be comfortable with how I presented myself to the world, whether I transitioned or not.
I also started to see how chaotic the online trans community could be. I felt like a lot of people were confused and didn't realize it, which made it harder for me to trust my own feelings. I posted in this detransition community because I thought I would get more honest and reasonable responses here than in pro-transition spaces. People here reminded me that things like hating the awkward parts of male puberty, like random erections, were something a lot of boys go through, and it didn't necessarily mean I was trans.
In the end, I never fully medically transitioned. I spent a long time leaning towards identifying as trans and was very committed to the idea, but these moments of doubt made me pause. I realized that a lot of my feelings were tied to my age and the normal confusion of growing up. I don't regret exploring my gender, and I don't regret taking the time to bank sperm, as it was a responsible choice. But I am glad I waited and didn't rush into anything permanent. Now, I'm more focused on just being comfortable as myself, without needing a specific label.
Age | Event |
---|---|
Around 15-16 | Started questioning my gender, initially identified as a feminine guy. |
16 | Began therapy for academic stress and family trouble, discussed gender feelings. |
16 | Banked sperm after discussions with my doctor about fertility risks. |
16-17 | Seriously considered medical transition but decided to wait due to doubts. |
Present (from comments) | No longer planning to transition, focusing on being comfortable without labels. |
Top Comments by /u/hongkongmilktea:
Okay. I know it's really important to just take my time, even though I feel really frustrated right now. This makes a lot of sense, and it's things I've been told often. But it's good for me to see it from the perspective of a community that doesn't immediately think I should transition. Thank you so much.
Thank you for replying! I'll be sure to watch that video in full when I have time.
I have been questioning for a super long time but I have been leaning towards identifying as trans throughout this questioning and exploration of the reality of my gender identity.
I don't really relate to or fully relate to your sexual experience with being trans but the way you talk about it makes it easier to understand your feelings, so thank you because it's really relieving to see someone able to articulate those feelings.
All of this is frustrating because I feel like I have to wait for something that I don't doubt on my own; I only doubt it because of what other people say that seems to be interested in making me doubt myself. I think it's good that I'm doubting myself now because I can realize how crazy all of this is. And I still feel interested in transition.
Thanks again! And I wish you good luck in your future, too.
I know that this sub shouldn't really tell me what to do, and that advice is only advice. The experiences are what I'm here for because I have a really limited outlook on the trans community since I'm not active in any real community.
I also can recognize that I'm really young and obviously immature, but thanks for reminding me that being young is really confusing and feelings change. It seems like I forget that I'm so young, sometimes. There really is no rush, but my emotions are so intense sometimes that I feel a rush when there isn't one.
I trust my therapist and I don't think that he's working on some agenda to have trans patients, but that's a valuable insight. I'm having therapy with him because of other reasons as well such as academic stress and family trouble. And I know that there is nothing wrong with being a feminine guy, because that's how I identified at first and I was comfortable. But I think that the 'guy' part didn't feel right still, so I don't know..
And you're right about inability to change biological sex, which is why I personally find it hard to see trans people for example changing the "Sex : __" on their liscenses or stuff. Biological sex is still at minimum medically pertinent. It's tough to accept that for me but I know that that is the truth, I just hope that whether or not I transition I can be comfortable with the way I present.
And yeah, I guess I forgot that boys puberty is pretty dumb with random boners and stuff, and that I'm not the only boy struggling with it. Thank you for reminding me of that.
And yeah, my therapist did warn me about the possibility of sterility. My doctor told me about it too, and didn't want to get me on puberty blockers until I banked sperm. So I have sperm banked at the moment so I'm not as worried about my future. My doctor also mentioned that by the time I'm old enough to want kids, there will probably be more than one way to have kids (other than sperm & egg). But there is no guarantee in that so it's important for me to bank sperm just in case.
Thank you so much for your long and insightful reply, I'm really glad you replied because I was worried no one was going to reply. Thank you again, I'll keep all of this in mind.
Thank you for replying with your super insightful words! I'm really glad that you're doing good now and are happy.
I really wish I didn't have to be boxed into categories either, but right now I don't think I can do anything about that. I guess that this is a hard topic for me because I am so committed to transition, yet these moments of doubt are pretty reasonable. Everything seems so chaotic and it kind of feels like it shouldn't be that chaotic in the trans community with how delicate of a subject this all internally feels to be.
Thank you so much, again.
Oh, okay. Those 'standard stories' make a lot of sense and are relatively relatable.
I really agree with what you said about the TransTrender community spoiling the 'real trans community.' I feel like too many people are confused and they don't realize how confused they are. That is part of the reason of why I posted here instead of on a trans community, is because I felt like I would get a more honest and reasonable response from this place.
Thank you for replying, I understand a few things a bit better now.