This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments display:
- Personal, specific detail: They share a nuanced, first-person account of their mastectomy, recovery, and ongoing trauma, which is difficult to fabricate convincingly.
- Consistent perspective: Their views on medical transition, informed consent, and personal regret are consistent across posts.
- Community engagement: They offer practical advice (e.g., shaving tips, therapist resources) and engage in supportive dialogue with others, showing a genuine understanding of the community's concerns.
The passion and anger in some comments are consistent with a genuine detransitioner/desister who has experienced significant harm.
About me
I was born female and transitioned to male, which included getting top surgery. The surgery was deeply traumatic and I grieved the loss of my breasts, needing intensive therapy for PTSD. I still struggle with my scars and find intimacy difficult. While I don't regret the entire journey, I deeply regret the permanent physical change. I now see these procedures as serious body modifications that require far better informed consent.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was something I never expected to go through. I was born female and for a long time, I believed I was meant to be male. I ended up getting top surgery, a complete mastectomy, and that was the biggest physical change for me.
The surgery itself was far more traumatic than I ever anticipated. I wasn't prepared for the grief I would feel. Losing a part of my body wasn't minor; it was a significant loss that I had to grieve. I developed real symptoms of PTSD and complicated grief afterward. It took me eight months of intensive therapy, actively going over everything that happened, for those symptoms to become manageable. Even now, more than two years later, I still have some difficulty. I don't like the massive scars I have; they feel like bizarre seams on my body. Showering can be hard, and being intimate with my partner is still a challenge—they haven't seen my chest in over a year.
Socially, it's difficult to be a female without breasts. At work, I wear a padded bra and baggy clothes to change the contour of my chest. It feels like the easier thing to do, but my preference would be to not have to do that. I don't think I'll ever feel comfortable being topless in a locker room or any public setting. I've talked to other women who detransitioned who, even more than five years after their mastectomy, still have significant trauma and dissociate when showering. I grieved the loss of being able to age with my natural body. There are some practical benefits, like no more back pain, but overall, I wish I hadn't had the surgery. I sometimes wonder if a breast reduction would have been a better option for me, but I think I personally wouldn't have been satisfied with that either.
I took testosterone for a while, and when I decided to stop, I quit cold turkey. That was really rough on my mental health. I think tapering off slowly would have been a much better idea. I ended up going on a brief course of antidepressant medication to help me through it.
My thoughts on gender now are complicated. I've learned so much about how the mind works and how we can search for something symbolically through our actions. I see taking cross-sex hormones and having surgery as elective, cosmetic procedures—they're body modifications to make people feel better or move through the world more easily, but they come with serious health considerations. I believe the medical practice of informed consent is a real problem; providers need to do a much better job of actually making sure patients understand the risks and are truly informed.
I do have regrets about transitioning, specifically about the surgery. I don't regret the entire journey because I learned a lot and grew from the experience, but the physical changes, especially the loss of my breasts, is something I deeply regret.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| ? | Started identifying as transgender and began social transition. |
| ? | Started taking testosterone (T). |
| ? | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| ? | Stopped taking testosterone cold turkey. Began detransition. |
| ? | Began intensive therapy to deal with PTSD and grief from surgery. |
| (2+ years after surgery) | Felt much more comfortable in my body, though some difficulties remained. |
Top Comments by /u/hopeful4321:
Somewhat disappointed that we didn’t get to hear more from the other detransitioned people who were interviewed on camera. I was surprised to see Cari Stella in the video and would be cool to hear how she’s doing years out from her detransition. Daisy was awesome, and Garrett and Grace, too. It’s kind of amazing to see a mainstream program in the US pick up this story. Is this the first story about this from a mainstream media outlet in the US since the Singal article in the Atlantic?
This is my experience, which is different from others’. Socially, it’s difficult to be a female without breasts. At work, I wear a bra with padding and baggy clothes to change the contour of my chest. My preference would be to not have to do that, but I’m in a field where it just feels like the easier thing to do. I’m not sure I will ever feel comfortable being topless in a locker room, likely will never feel comfortable topless in a more public setting. I really expected to have an easy adjustment to my mastectomy, but the surgery was traumatic for me, personally, and I developed symptoms of PTSD and complicated grief. Losing a part of my body was significant for me, not minor. It took 8 months of intensive therapy and actively reviewing and going over what happened and everything for my symptoms to become much more manageable. And more than 2 years later, I feel much better and finally comfortable in my body, for the most part. I don’t like having bizarre seams in my body. I don’t have dog ears, but the scars are massive. I still have some difficulty showering, still have difficulty being intimate with my partner, who hasn’t seen my chest in over a year. I have talked to some ftmtfs who more than 5 years after mastectomy still have significant trauma symptoms and dissociate when showering, etc. I grieved the loss of being able age with my natural body and breasts. It’s easier not to have breasts in some ways - I don’t have back pain that I used to have and other things are easier, but I wish I hadn’t had surgery. I also sometimes wish I had considered breast reduction, but I think I personally would have not been satisfied with the results.
Results vary wildly so be sure you find out what your surgeon can do, ask questions about aesthetics and consider what the worst outcome could be for you and make a plan for how you will deal with that
Honestly, if you have any wisdom to share about dealing with these kinds of feelings, I would really really appreciate it because I am fully aware that this whole scenario is not going to be going through any drastic shifts anytime soon and my current way of thinking about it and coping is not helping me resolve anything or shift out of the shitty feelings
You could share the international association of therapists for desisters and detransitioners website with any therapist you go to. https://iatdd.com/ If they’re willing to listen and look at the website and seek additional resources for helping them help you, you can maybe have more confidence in their ability to help.
It’s not good medical practice for them to not actually inform people of the risks. The no-assessment/informed-consent-only process is also an issue. But the procedure they use for informing patients needs to be a process where patients are actually informed about the treatment, and (I believe) ideally there should a conversation where the provider is gauging how well the patient is understanding the information they are trying to communicate to the patient.
Tapering off T might be a good idea... I quit cold turkey and it was rough on my mental health. If you just decrease your dose every week and spread it out over a few weeks, it could be easier. I also went on an antidepressant med briefly when I went off T. Have you been on meds before? If you know you respond well to a medication, it might be worth it.
I haven’t ever heard of anyone going to rehab when getting off T. Based only on my experience, I don’t think the physiological effects would be intense enough to require the medical support in a rehab center. I think getting some additional outpatient mental health support is a good idea since you have a history of thinking about suicide.
Take good care of yourself. I hope you get the support you need.
I don’t think shaving is making your hair grow faster and thicker. If you’ve been off T for 18 months, the hair on your face and neck probably as thin as it’s going to get without laser or electrolysis.
My advice would be to follow all the tips and recommendations for face shaving for guys, make sure to wash your face with warm water before shaving, use shaving cream and a sharp blade, shave with the direction of hair growth, use very little pressure. If your skin gets dry you can try an oil free moisturizer or skin toner afterwards. Maybe give your skin a break from shaving some days if you can
You could also try plucking your neck hairs or using an epilator
It sounds like you are in a complex situation with your health if you’re unsure if you have an autoimmune disorder and are not sure what’s going on. It’s up to you to determine your personal values around transition and your health, but really, my perspective is that taking cross sex hormones in order to accommodate gender identity that’s different from your natal sex is elective and to a certain extent cosmetic. It’s a body modification to make people feel better about themselves or more easily move through the world... and also is more complicated than that. But, I think you need to consider and try to weigh out/balance out how important your long term health is, potential long term health impacts of messing with your endocrine system, benefits of staying on testosterone/getting on hormonal birth control, risks involved with hormonal birth control... Hormonal birth control is linked to breast cancer, you can get breast cancer even if you get/have had a transgender mastectomy.
You should really be talking this all out with your medical providers, maybe even an endocrinologist who can give you better information about how testosterone/estrogen at any level may effect your possible autoimmune issue.
Thank you for sharing your experience and for being so vulnerable. I feel similarly about my own transition, I learned a lot and grew from the experience. And I know a lot more about how the mind can work and how we can be searching for something symbolically through our actions.
I think there’s a documentary on YouTube called “I want my sex back” or something - a guy who was mtftm featured in that documentary had reversal surgery and said it wasn’t helpful, if I recall correctly. I wonder if you got in touch with sexchangeregret.com and Walt Hayer if he might be able to connect you with someone who has undergone reversal and could tell you about their experience. I know of at least one detransitioner who had bad experiences talking with Walt Hayer and even felt used by him, so maybe consider your boundaries before reaching out. Hope you find the support and information you need.