This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly consistent, detailed, and emotionally nuanced. They describe a personal journey of desisting (social transition without medical intervention), including specific struggles with internalized misogyny, body image, and leaving a trans-sympathetic social circle. The language is natural, reflective, and lacks the repetition or agenda-pushing that might indicate an inauthentic account. Their passion and frustration align with the expected perspective of a genuine desister.
About me
I'm a woman who started identifying as trans as a teenager because I thought being a man was cooler and wanted to escape being a woman. My whole life became about not being seen as female, but it was just a way to run from my problems instead of facing them. I'm so grateful I stopped before any permanent changes and started focusing on healthier self-care instead. I've since changed back to my birth name and learned to appreciate my body and womanhood. Letting myself just be a normal woman has been the most healing experience for me.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was always a tomboy growing up, and I only had brothers, which made me think that boyhood and manhood were just cooler. I saw girls as boring, and I think I had a lot of internalized misogyny I’m still working on. I didn’t shave or wear makeup and I preferred men’s clothing, but I now know that none of those things make a person trans.
When I was deep in the middle of it, I experienced what I called huge dysphoria. I hated being called a girl or a daughter, and I wore a binder because I hated my breasts. My gender identity became my whole personality. All I cared about was not being seen as a woman and getting top surgery as soon as possible. I look back now and see that I was an escapist. My trans identity was just a new form of running away from my problems instead of facing them. I wanted to be someone else, someone stronger or better. The online trans and queer community felt like a game where you could customize yourself with new labels and identities. It was like an echo chamber, isolated from the real world, and it was easy for someone like me to drown in it.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I only transitioned socially by changing my name. I’m so grateful I snapped out of it before doing anything permanent to my body. Last year, I decided to stop wearing my binder. That was a big step. I realized I hadn't been taking care of myself because all my energy went into "that gender stuff." I started jogging again and focusing on my body in a healthier way.
Earlier this year, I changed back to my birth name. It felt natural and really helped me accept who I am and have always been. Letting myself just be a normal-looking woman, without overanalyzing everything, has been the most healing experience. I’ve learned to appreciate my body and womanhood in a way I never did before. Most of my physical insecurities are gone now.
I told my family about my decision to detransition months ago. For my friends, I made an Instagram story so I didn't have to tell everyone individually. I just informed people I didn’t identify as trans anymore and asked them not to ask questions about it right away. My views have changed a lot, and I’m afraid it will affect my friendships because almost all my friends are super liberal and fully support gender theory. I have one close non-binary friend who is so "woke" it's become tiring, and I think she would be the one to cut me off if she knew my current opinions. I’m moving to a new city soon and I’m planning to just quietly distance myself, maybe just sending casual catch-up messages instead of sharing deep parts of myself.
I don’t regret my transition because I learned a lot of life lessons from it, but I do think it was a mistake for me. I missed my old self, the person who didn’t have dysphoria and didn’t see everything through a lens of gender. I’ve learned that I don’t have to change anything to fit in as a woman. I just am one.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
My Age | Event |
---|---|
Teenage years | Started identifying as trans, socially transitioned with a new name, wore a binder due to dysphoria. |
Last year (age 20) | Stopped wearing my binder. |
Early this year (age 21) | Started jogging again and focusing on self-care. |
This year (age 21) | Changed back to my birth name and officially stopped identifying as trans. |
Top Comments by /u/hopeofsunrise:
Yeah that's... dangerous. Strange to look back at when I used to think like this. One of the main reasons I thought I was trans was all that "Cis people don't think about their gender" bs. Seven minutes and you should try a little??? Really??? People have lost their sense of reality.
I'm honestly thinking about doing this since I'll be moving to a new city in a few weeks. I have one close friend who identifies as nonbinary and is overall so woke that it's become tiring. I know that ghosting is not a great thing to do but at the same time I feel like telling her all the reasons is too much. :/
For me it was missing my old self. I missed my old self who did not have dysphoria and who didn't see everything through a lens of gender. I used to think like "it's ok to miss those times but I'm not like that anymore, this is growth." I'll forever be grateful for snapping out of it before doing anything permanent to my body.
Being able to accept myself and my body as a gnc woman has been the most healing experience ever. I don't have to change anything to fit in as a woman. I just am one.
Transition doesn't sound like a good idea. You have doubts and it sounds like you have started to become more comfortable in your body lately, which is a good thing. I'm only 21 but for me A LOT has changed mentally this year only! And even more is going to change in the next few years. You have the whole life ahead of you, so don't rush things. I suggest you to read more detrans stories. Many of us detrans/desisted women have been masculine and felt like we didn't fit in. Much love!
Thank you for your comments. I think I could message my friend every once in a while, too. We've been super close but I don't want to share any deep parts of myself to her anymore, just casual catch ups. I've become so very different this year and honestly I think that she would be the one to cut me off if she knew all my current opinions haha.
I changed back to my birth name. It felt natural and helped with accepting who I am and have always been.
I have had similar thoughts and experiences. Childhood as a tomboy with only brothers made me think that boyhood/manhood is cooler and girls are just boring. It has taken me years to accept that I can be just the way I am regardless of my gender. Not shaving or wearing make up does not make me trans. Wearing "men's clothing" or having a buzz cut does not make me trans. I'm also still working on my internalized misogyny.
Imo gender ideology does not lessen societal gender norms. It does the opposite.
I appreciate you for sharing your thoughts and advice!
I guess I've always been an escapist and my trans identity must have been a new form of it. Now I've started facing my problems instead of running away from them. It's hard but so worth it in the long run, and therapy has been great. I feel like the trans/queer community is sooo different from the real world and that's why it's so easy to drown in it as a person like me. So many identities, colours, flags, names and stuff. It's like a game. You can customize yourself and make up new labels, isolate from society and live in this little echo chamber. "You can become anything you want to!"
What it comes to social media, I've deleted tiktok and now I only use reddit and instagram. Ig still shows me alot of trans stuff but step by step I'm minimizing my time on there, too.
I really like your advice on the body image theme. My mom has a similar body type to mine and I've found it somewhat helpful. I've never thought she's ugly or that there's anything wrong with her body.
Thank you for your comment! That's a good question. I used to experience huge dysphoria when I was called a girl, daughter etc. and I wore a binder. I still sometimes get an ick when I call myself a woman even tho I know that's what I am. But I've tried to ignore those feelings and now I barely get any negative reaction when I'm called a daughter for example.
Last year I decided to stop wearing my binder. I didn't look myself in the mirror that much and early this year I started jogging again. I didn't really take care of myself when all my energy went into that gender stuff. It feels like it was my whole personality back then. All I cared about was to not be seen as a woman and getting a top surgery asap... So yeah, from now on I might focus even more on taking care of my body and doing things that really matter!
Do what feels right. I told my family months ago and only recently made and instagram story about it so that I didn't need to tell all my friends one by one.
You can explain it more if you feel like doing so. Or you can just shortly inform people that you don't identify as trans anymore. (And stuff like "this is my name now" if you are changing it.)
When I posted the ig story I informed that I might explain it more later but for now I would not like to answer any questions about it.
Good luck! :)