This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments demonstrate:
- Consistent, nuanced engagement with complex detransition topics over several months.
- Empathetic and supportive advice directed at other users, which is common in support communities.
- Personal reflection on motivations and societal pressures, showing a genuine internal dialogue.
The user's passion and critical views on social contagion and labels align with known perspectives within the detrans/desister community and do not indicate inauthenticity.
About me
I started transitioning in my late teens because I felt deeply uncomfortable with my female body and thought becoming a man was the answer. I took testosterone and had top surgery, which initially felt like a relief from my distress. Eventually, I realized the physical changes didn't fix my underlying depression and anxiety, and I had been using transition to escape from myself. I stopped hormones and have been living as female again, focusing on therapy to heal my real issues. I don't regret the journey because it led me here, but I have to live with permanent changes like infertility.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition wasn't simple, and I don't think the reasons behind it ever are. I spent a lot of time thinking about why people, including myself, make these choices. For me, a lot of it came down to not fitting in and looking for an answer to why I felt so uncomfortable.
I believe my underlying issues were depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially during puberty. I hated developing breasts; it felt wrong and foreign to me. I now see this as a form of body dysmorphia, where my perception of myself was distorted. I was also influenced heavily by what I saw online. Seeing other people talk about their transition as the solution to their pain made me think it could be the solution to mine. It felt like an escape from being me.
I started by identifying as non-binary in my late teens. It felt like a way to step away from the pressures of being a woman without having to fully commit to being a man. But that didn’t feel like enough, and I eventually moved towards identifying as a transgender man. I took testosterone for a period of time and I got top surgery.
The physical changes from testosterone were significant, and for a while, I felt a sense of relief. The surgery, especially, felt like it fixed a huge problem I had with my body. But the initial high wore off, and the deeper issues—the depression and anxiety—were still there. I had gone through all of this, and I still felt like me, just a more medically altered version. I realized I had been using transition as a form of escapism, trying to run away from myself rather than toward my true self.
I began to question everything. I wondered if I had been lying to myself. I saw people in the community say they detransitioned because of transphobia, and I thought, is that just an easier thing to say? Is it easier to blame society than to admit to yourself that you made a life-altering mistake? For me, it wasn't about external pressure. It was an internal realization that I had been wrong.
I don't regret my transition in the sense that I needed to go through it to get to where I am now. It was a painful but necessary lesson. However, I do have regrets about the permanent changes, and I am now infertile because of the hormones. I have to live with that forever.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's become too complicated. I think there's a trend where people, especially young people, are creating more and more labels to feel special or unique. But in trying so hard to be a unique individual, everyone ends up conforming to a new set of rules. It feels like a different kind of pressure.
I benefited from therapy that wasn't just about affirming my gender identity. A therapist who was willing to help me dig into the root causes of my discomfort—my low self-worth, my history of depression, and my issues with my body—was what actually helped me heal. That was the key for me, not continuing to change my body to match a feeling that kept shifting.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 17 | Started identifying as non-binary. Felt like an escape from womanhood. |
| 19 | Began identifying as a transgender man. Started taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery. |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone. Realized my underlying issues were not resolved. Began the process of detransition. |
| 24 | (Current Age) Living as a female again. Focusing on therapy for depression and anxiety. |
Top Comments by /u/hsgdgda:
It’s just another term to try and make people feel special. They want to be in the special minority and have special labels.
Everyone is unique. Having more labels doesn’t make you more unique.
I thought there was a time that people fought against being labeled. Ironically I think people are fighting so hard to not conform that they’re just confirming in a different way. Now it’s some battle to see who can be the most “non-conformist”.
Could just be in their own minds.
https://www.aknowbrainer.com/dartmouth-scar-experiment
“Participants (27 male, 21 female) were told that the experiment was meant to observe if people behaved differently towards those with facial scars.
Participants were placed into rooms with no mirrors
A make-up artist proceeded to draw a scar on their face
After the scar was drawn, participants were given a short glimpse of it with a pocket mirror.
Participants were then invited to leave the room and interact with folks in the building.
Before they left the room, the make-up artist told the participants that the scar needed some final touch-ups. But, what the make-up artist actually did next was to wipe off the make-up of the scar.
Participants left the room thinking they still wore a make-up scar.
They overwhelmingly reported back that people stared at their scars, and were mean and rude to them. “
Have their been any longer term studies? How rigorous are the studies that have been done?
Could there be some level of lying to yourself? “I detransitioned because of transphobia” is going to be more accepted by the community than “I detransitioned because I wasn’t really trans”. It takes the “blame” of detransitioning off the individual and puts it on society. “Society wouldn’t accept me” is going to get my sympathy than “I couldn’t accept myself”.
I am sure it is difficult to accept yourself as the opposite gender if society will not either. So if you are a man saying you are a women, and society doesn’t accept you as a women, then if you had any self doubts, those doubts are going to me magnified. You can say you detransitioned because of transphobia, but is that really the entire reason.
These are not simple questions and answers. Looking for simple answers for detransitioners is part of the problem.
I know many women that don’t wear makeup, do their hair, have a lot of outfits, etc. Don’t be so hard on yourself, these are not things that every girl / woman just automatically knows how to do, or that every girl / woman had / has friends that were / are able to teach them.
I am glad you are helping to get the word out.
I don’t know if it’s going to be too much for you, but you might see if you can be interviewed by Benjamin A Boyce on YouTube. He does interviews with people that have detransitioned and he’s probably my favorite interviewer.
I think this is the primary reason. I believe in the past it was mostly men in their 30’s who transitioned, a gender therapist said that was 90% of their clients, now 90% are teenage girls.
Teenage girls are more susceptible things like eating disorders. So the social contagion aspect I am sure plays a huge role in the current demographic changes for people transitioning.
I imagine being a girl / woman, body image is much more of an issue than with boys / men, (which absolutely can have body issues as well, but just talking in broad terms).
I think some people are dismissive if you use the term “social contagion” because it’s a simple explanation that anti-trans people can easily throw out there. We would all probably be better off if this wasn’t some “battle” between pro and anti trans people, and people actually looking into the social reasons why people felt the need to transition in some kind of objective manner. Digging into the reasons behind transition / detransition.
I don’t think you have anything to worry about, if someone says something like “I told you so” then they are being insensitive and immature. I don’t think anyone that truly cares about you would say something like that.
Even if people were accepting you as transgender, transitioning is something that brings with it lifelong difficulties. Your friends and family will probably be relieved. (Not saying they would be upset if you did not transition). They probably will realize it’s not easy for you to detransition and wouldn’t knowingly say or do anything to make you feel bad about it.
If someone says something like “I told you so” then they are an insensitive jerk.
People should realize it’s not easy for you to detransition, and if they care about you, they will be supportive.
Do what’s best for you, if people are jerks or quit being friends with you, then would you really want that kind of person to be friends with you?
Hopefully your fiends are just immature and insensitive and not assholes. It’s not like said you were changing what you wanted to be called constantly or even recently.
Your friends have known you since 2016 and they are going you a hard time? That’s baffling to me. I know anyone that detransitions must be going through a difficult time, it can’t have been an easy decision. Saying things to make it even worse is just a crappy thing to do. Your real friends should be there supporting you 100%, no questions asked.
Do they think you are doing this just to make their lives difficult? Oh no, they have to call you by a different name.
The only thing that comes to mind is maybe something like the book Brave New World.
Or take what’s going on today and amplify it.
Maybe another book to look at at would be animal farm. Each kind of animal represents something.
Fantasy, you might have more options, because you have magic. You could have magic that changes people, but there’s always a price to pay, you lose a little bit of yourself each time you change. People keep changing trying to find happiness, but they only find temporary happiness. The super villains only pretend to change and somehow benefit from others changing.
It doesn’t have to be just changing genders. It court just be changing into a bird, but the novelty of flying wears off.