This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly nuanced, emotionally consistent, and demonstrate a deep, personal engagement with the complex philosophical and psychological aspects of detransition. They share specific personal details (e.g., being autistic, a former sex worker, having a split tongue) and reference a consistent, evolving personal philosophy centered on radical self-acceptance and mindfulness. The account shows a natural progression of thought and a willingness to engage in good-faith discussion, which is not typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I'm autistic and always felt completely out of place, like I was built differently than everyone else. I tried to escape that feeling by identifying as non-binary, hoping a new social label would fix my deep self-hatred and trauma. Through therapy and personal work, I realized my dysphoria wasn't about being in the wrong body but about being forced into a role. Now, I focus on radical self-acceptance instead of changing how I'm seen. I've found peace by learning to love myself as the female person I am, flaws and all.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort and confusion. I’m autistic, and I’ve come to believe that played a huge part. I never felt "right" in the world, like I was a Linux computer in a world designed for Windows and Macs. This feeling of being fundamentally different, combined with the sensory overload and the pressure to act a certain way, made me feel disconnected from my own body. Puberty was especially hard; I hated the changes and felt a lot of anxiety about the gender roles I was expected to perform.
I spent a lot of time online, particularly on sites like Tumblr, and was heavily influenced by the communities there. I started identifying as non-binary as a way to escape the boxes I felt forced into. For a while, it felt like a solution. It was a way to reject the expectations placed on me because I was born female. I never medically transitioned—no hormones or surgeries—but I explored social transition deeply. I thought changing how others saw me was the key to feeling better.
A big part of my struggle was rooted in trauma and low self-esteem. I had a lot of childhood trauma that left me with a fragile sense of self. I now see that my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I was trying to run away from the pain of not fitting in and from hating myself. I was looking for outward validation, hoping that if people saw me as non-binary, I would finally feel whole. I was also dealing with internalised issues; I think I had some internalised homophobia and struggled to accept myself as a woman who didn't conform.
My turning point came through therapy and a lot of personal work. I benefited immensely from non-affirming therapy, specifically Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and mindfulness. This helped me learn emotional regulation and to sit with my pain instead of running from it. I also had profound healing experiences with psychedelic drugs in safe, controlled settings. These experiences helped me connect with myself on a deeper level and realise that the love I was searching for had to come from within.
I started to understand that my dysphoria wasn’t about being born in the wrong body, but about the trauma of being misunderstood and forced into a box. I realised that modifying my body wouldn't fix the self-hatred inside; only radical self-acceptance could do that. I began to see my body not as a vehicle to customise, but as an inherent part of who I am. I learned to ask myself if a change was motivated by self-love and growth, or by fear and a desire to escape. That became my guide.
I don’t regret exploring transition because it was a necessary part of my journey to self-discovery. It led me to where I am now, which is a place of much greater peace. I don’t identify as cis or trans anymore. I just am. I focus on accepting myself as a whole person, flaws and all. I believe gender roles are restrictive and harmful, and I hope for a future where people can just be themselves without such rigid labels.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s a social construct based on roles assigned at birth. For me, the goal is to radically accept the circumstances of my body and my mind. I am whole and complete as I am, and any changes I make to my appearance now—like my tattoos and piercings—are about adding to myself, not taking away from who I fundamentally am.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenage Years | Experienced intense discomfort during puberty, hated the changes and felt anxiety about gender roles. Felt disconnected from my body. |
| Early 20s | Heavily influenced by online communities (e.g., Tumblr). Began identifying as non-binary and explored social transition as an escape. |
| Around 30 | Began therapy (DBT) and started psychedelic-assisted healing. This was a major turning point. |
| 31 | Realised my desire to transition was rooted in escapism and trauma. Shifted focus to radical self-acceptance. Stopped identifying with transition labels. |
| Present (31) | Focused on self-love and acceptance. No longer pursuing medical or social transition. View my journey as one of growth and self-discovery. |
Top Comments by /u/icantastethecolors:
I mean what do they want for proof? A photo of a time-stamped username next to a prescription and their genitals? I bet some people might still try and say it's shopped.
This is such a bummer. I'm gonna ditch "desister" and refer to myself as "trans-inconvenient"... I'm kidding, but today's been frustrating :/
Disclaimer: I never went as far as to medically transition.
Could you look at it as if they're the price you paid to discover your true meaning of womanhood? Like mourning a brave and fallen soldier who fought to bring peace?
I know mastectomy memorial tattoos are a thing. Maybe some sense of ritual, like funeral rights, can help you process the grief?
I think you deserve to forgive yourself here. You had the guts to go to extremes in the name of embracing yourself. You could have turned back so many times, but would that path have brought you to the acceptance of your birth circumstance?
My heart goes out to your loss <3 I think I would be so sad if I looked in the mirror and saw scars instead of breasts. Wishing you gentle processing of your pain.
I'm autistic. I think there are a few big factors here. One of them is many of us just don't feel "right", as there's an inherent trauma and displacement that comes from being expected to perform in a world not designed for our needs (I feel like a linux in a world of windows and macs). Another is many of us feel great deals of sensory overload, and then are gaslit about it ("It's not too loud/bright", "stop being so sensitive"), which I think causes us to feel uncomfortable in our own bodies and disconnect. Finally, I think that gender is a social construct via gender-roles assigned due to birth sex, and autistics tend to either not pick up on them or reject them entirely.
Put all of that together, and it's a pretty perfect recipe for dysphoria.
Side notes: I don't believe autism to be a disorder, I believe it's simply a variation of human neurotypes. Highly reccommend the book Neurotribes for anyone who's interested in learning more. Autism is horribly pathologized and misunderstood.
Probably one characteristic that unites us all, from desisters to detransitioners, is a deep feeling that the love we want to find when we look in the mirror comes from within as a radical acceptance of the self, and not because people on the outside see us a certain way.
I'm glad this platform is here, too. I remember being silenced when I was asking difficult questions the hugbox didn't like during some of my transition exploration.
I hear you, there is an imbalance, which is why I made this post in the first place. I remember when GA had more of a voice, it does feel slanted lately. I find myself taking more GA-leaning stances when a thread is lacking. Personally I'm gender-centrist on detrans issues with a focus on mental/physical health.
Can you find a link to that thread? I'm curious. I think it's just flat rude to tell someone to toughen up. Disrespect has no place here.
Not mtftm, but I did have a talk with a lovely mtf person that stuck with me. She said that when she looked in the mirror and saw herself as a woman the first time, she was able to give herself the tenderness that she felt wasn't allowed to as a man. That really spoke volumes to me.
And no, I am not a huge fan of gender or gender-roles. I think our culture robs men of the ability to connect to their own feminine energies (in a yin-yang kind of way, not a literal gender way). I think we have a long way to go in restoring that, and in the mean time, if becoming a woman helps someone heal, then I want them to do whatever they need to heal.
I hope you don't worry too much about not being able to find a partner. When we worry about embodying a certain archetype to attract another, we deny ourselves truth.
Think about the people you've been attracted to in your life. Sure, there are people who are beautiful on the surface, who we admire and want to be with. Now think of the others you've been attracted to, the ones that don't check the boxes on your list of physical attraction, but you are just inexplicably fond of. For me, the common denominator of those surprise-attractions has been how raw and real they are. That's the kind of beautiful we become when we learn to accept ourselves, and embrace our own truth.
The good news too is that you're coming into the age when people start seeing past the superficial. It took me until last year to start being attracted to people's smiles, rather than their aesthetic. I'm 31 now.
My partner is not what I expected to fall for. He's not devilishly handsome, fashion-concerned, covered in tattoos, stoic, super tough, or overly charismatic, which is the kind of people I used to date. He's nerdy, has the most basic sense of aesthetic, physically softer, and doesn't go out of his way to appear impressive. He wears a c-pap mask to sleep. And he drives me wild. We've been friends for a decade, and I'm finally seeing him in a new light. Honestly, when I look at him, I think he is gorgeous. I am so in love with who he is, that I genuinely find his physical appearance to be just my taste. If I stare into his beautiful brown eyes and kiss his soft lips, I melt into a puddle. He makes me feel so comfortable with being me, he's my best friend. We're getting married soon, and I can't believe I'm this lucky.
So please be patient and kind with yourself. Truly embracing yourself will make you beautiful on the deepest level. You are so worthy of love <3
nah, I've given up on fighting. Been mostly trying for peacemaking. It takes longer, is unbelievably frustrating, people on both sides tell you you're wrong/crazy, but when you start seeing the fruits of the labor it's so worth it.
I kinda lost my patience at someone today though. Oh well. I just try to do right most of the time, and forgive myself for when I make mistakes.
I agree with you on this, it feels so similar to the psychiatry mindset of medication being the go-to solution.
Of course there's an epidemic of depression and anxiety; in the US our culture and financial setting offers so little for the future, and meanwhile we're being fed information at obscenely fast speeds. We've been collectively gaslit into disconnect from our bodies and overstimulated by technology that competes to push our dopamine receptors the hardest. Why the hell wouldn't there be a chemical imbalance in half the population?
He needs to be straight for me to feel acknowledged and comfortable.
You're asking a lot here. You want a partner who's sexuality is one specific way for the sole benefit of validating you, yet you're not willing to meet somebody with an alternative sexuality (like bi) in the middle. Validation depending upon an outside person won't give you the peace you're seeking, and will only exhaust your partner. Maybe take some time to work on your inner sense of self validation? Really can't go wrong with that.
You're worth loving and having somebody wonderful in your life. Building off of this idea is the best way to clear your mind and figure out what you want to do. If SRS doesn't feel right, listen to that.