This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on these comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it's a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user expresses a consistent, passionate, and highly cynical worldview. The comments are nuanced, reference long-term personal experiences (e.g., sexual comfort from age 18 to 36), and use varied, idiosyncratic language and metaphors (e.g., "library of your every mistake," "tinpot dictators"). This complexity is difficult to fake and points to a real person with strong, fixed opinions. The anger and stigma mentioned in the prompt are clearly present in the user's tone.
About me
I started as a young woman who felt deep jealousy towards men, and I confused that feeling with needing to be male myself. I was pushed by online fearmongering to start testosterone, believing it was my only path to being authentic. I now see I was trying to solve internal problems of anxiety and a need for deep intimacy with permanent physical changes. I live with serious regret and daily worry about the long-term health effects from the hormones. My journey taught me that true self-acceptance doesn't require changing your body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort, but not necessarily with my body at first. I think it was more about jealousy and a feeling of not measuring up. I remember feeling jealous of other guys, of what they had and who they were. It’s a normal human emotion, but I thought it meant something bigger. I thought the solution was to become male myself, to work towards that, instead of just accepting that feeling jealous is a part of life you have to work through or forget about.
I was really influenced by what I saw online. I saw people talking about transition as the answer to these deep feelings of unease, and it seemed like a clear path. I got it into my head that if I didn't transition, I'd end up as some "disgusting ugly delusional crossdresser." That fear pushed me. I started to believe that changing my body was the only way to be authentic and avoid a future I was terrified of.
Looking back, I see that I was trying to solve an internal problem with an external change. The debate around trans issues is confusing because on one hand, people say gender is a social construct, but then the solution offered is to physically change your body to fix an identity crisis. I now believe you can change your "gender identity" through how you act, what you wear, your job, your friends—your whole life—without doing any damage to your body. That’s the real trick. Embrace who you are, but don't cut up your body for it.
A big part of my confusion was also about sexuality. I had a lot of anxiety about intimacy and sex. I couldn't understand how people could just be comfortable with it. I’m a person who needs a lot of trust and intimacy to feel comfortable physically. I’m not someone who can have a quick, casual encounter; it just doesn't work for me. I need to genuinely like someone's mind and body, to have a deep connection, before I can open up. I had to accept that about myself instead of trying to change my body to fit a different idea of how sexuality should work.
I have serious regrets about my transition. I took hormones, and I worry about the long-term effects every day. Hormones are powerful, and we don't fully understand them. Your body remembers every single thing you do to it. When you're young, you feel like you can bounce back from anything, but it's like a bank account you can only withdraw from. I'm afraid of what I've done to my body and what health complications might be waiting for me when I'm older. I feel a deep disappointment, both in myself for not seeing it sooner and in the people who encouraged me down this path. I tried to warn others about the dangers I saw, but I was told to shut up, and now seeing the same thing happen to other people breaks me up.
I don't think medical transition is the right answer for most people. When it "works," it's often just luck and good genetics, and those success stories are used to promote surgeries and treatments that will fail for many others. It's a gamble with your body that I now deeply regret taking.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens | Started feeling intense jealousy towards males and confused it with gender identity. Began consuming online content that promoted transition as the solution. |
| 18 | Started taking testosterone. Believed it was necessary to avoid a future I feared. |
| Now (36) | Stopped hormones. Living with regret and worry about long-term health effects. Realize my issues were related to jealousy, anxiety, and a need for intimacy, not my body itself. |
Top Comments by /u/icecoldpopsicle:
God that's so horrible to read. This is what I warned people about only to be told to shut up and fuck off. And now it's here. It breaks me up, that I could see it coming but I couldn't do a fucking thing to stop it. Worse kind of disapointed in mankind.
so I don't end up becoming a disgusting ugly delusional crossdresser who lies about his sex, mutilates his penis, and constantly gets butthurt about lesbians and pronouns?
I feel you're almost there on your own, what you need is confirmation? You will most likely not be fuckable. Ods are. That should be enough.
Look, look, jealous is what you felt, a human emotion. Someone had something that you wanted. Don't go changing genders because you feel jealous. Jealousy is normal as fuck. I feel jealous every day of something someone has or is.
You got 2 solutions there.
a) work at it
b) forget about it
You can very well change your "gender identity" to male through clothing, language, body posture, friends choice, activities, job, etc. without doing any damage to your body or upsetting anyone. So try that. Why embrace something that you don't like?
If I'm (and this is just an example) into femdom, why would I embrace vanilla sex? No I should go out and find myself a mistress to dom me. And I might hate it btw. It's not always the same in your head and in real life.
Embrace your bliss, just don't cut up your body for it. That's the trick.
That's what's so confusing about the trans debate in the first place. On the one hand trans get that gender identity is socially formed, on the other they ultimately preach changing your body to alliviate identity crisises.
Bear in mind that you pay for what you do to your body at 18 when you reach 40... 18 you fall from the 3rd floor you bounce back up. But later... your body remembers every fucking thing. It's like a libary of your every mistake I swear. It's a bank account and you can only withdraw from it. Hormones are super powerful agents of change for the body and we do not understand their role perfectly.
on it being against the rules: I simply do not care about subreddit rules. I'm banned from a number of them. I will never be influenced by tinpot dictators.
On it being insulting. I replied.
I feel the language is warranted to protect people. Like pain is warranted to get you to avoid damage to your body.
I’d like to be comfortable being female and having sex but it’s very hard, so I wonder how other people do it.
Well I can confidently say don't go on Tinder or any meat market like that. You need someone to grow close to and find intimacy with. I'm a guy and I'm big and strong and I absolutely can't get hard the first time with a woman.
I'm a fucking machine in bed when I'm comfy, but it takes at least a month of intimacy for me to GET comfy.
At 18 this was my greatest failure. At 36, I know myself enough to tell people this about myself and not go with women who want a quick lay.
It saved me to understand and accept myself on that point. I'm just NOT a slut, I can't get turned on fast. I might wish I was to conform but I'm not.
So for me, I have to take is easy and slow. I need complicity, trust, intimacy, spirituality, I need to know what the woman thinks about life and death and ego and LSD and relegion and kids and the future, and I have to like it.
See I have to geniuinely LIKE that person's body and mind before I even begin that process of opening up.
In my whole life I found 2 women where I got to that level. I'm not a tinder person and I had to accept that.
Pro tip: massage. Massage, massage, massage. It's the only way for slow starters who need intimacy to go faster. Don't jump right into the sex or it's a fucking disaster.
That has happened, whether you want that to be true or not. Some results are honestly really impressive and a testament to medical progress and the body's ability to adapt.
I admited that above. And I even commented on it.
When it does work, it's luck, it's the genetics of that person making it work and it's then used to promote surgeries that will not give that result to the many who try.