This story is from the comments by /u/idkreddituser11 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this user account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic persona.
The comments display a consistent, deeply personal, and emotionally complex narrative of detransition. The user shares specific, granular details about their medical history (e.g., specific medications like Nebido, clinic names like Nottingham GIC, health issues like vaginal atrophy), a realistic timeline of their transition and detransition, and ongoing struggles with mental health, physical changes, and social reintegration. The emotional tone is nuanced, ranging from anger and frustration to sadness, hope, and self-reflection, which aligns with the genuine passion and pain often found in this community. The evolution of their perspective over time also feels organic.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started from trauma and a deep fear of being a woman. I medically transitioned for four years, believing it was my only path to safety and happiness. I realized too late that my dysphoria was from my mental health and a desire to escape, not a true identity. I’ve been off testosterone for over a year and am dealing with many permanent changes to my body. Now, I'm learning to accept myself as a woman while navigating the difficult consequences.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition has been long and complicated. I was born female, and from as early as I can remember, I felt a deep discomfort with my body and being a girl. I now believe a lot of this came from trauma, including childhood sexual abuse and growing up in a very misogynistic, religious environment. I felt like being a woman made me weak and vulnerable, and I truly believed that if I were a man, I would be safe, loved, and free.
I started puberty at age 10, and that’s when the feelings got much worse. I hated my breasts and my period; it felt like my body was betraying me. I discovered what it meant to be transgender online when I was around 12, and it felt like an answer to everything. It explained why I felt so wrong in my own skin. By 13, I had come out to myself and my sister as trans. At 15, I came out publicly at school and was badly bullied for it. I was so sure this was my only path. I remember crying in bed thinking I would either start testosterone or end my life. I even attempted suicide just before my 16th birthday because I couldn't access hormones "in time."
I started on testosterone gel illegally at 16, using expired sachets sold to me by an older trans man. Later, I went through an online clinic to get prescription injections, learning to inject myself at home, which was painful and messy. I was eventually seen by the NHS and put on a long-acting injection. I was on testosterone for four years in total.
At 19, I had top surgery, which was funded by the NHS. At the time, I felt it was life-saving. I thought I would die if I didn't get it. It did relieve my dysphoria for a while and gave me a sense of freedom. I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria twice by different gender clinics. I had a social media account with thousands of followers where I "educated" people about being trans. I was completely convinced.
But things started to change. I began to experience serious health complications from the testosterone. My hair started thinning and falling out, I became depressingly hairy, and I developed vaginal atrophy that caused urinary problems and pain. I also started to realise that no matter what I did, I would never actually be a biological man. I felt like a "freak in between," a short, teenage-looking, hairy, balding man. This wasn't the dream I had been sold.
The wake-up call came when I was being referred for a hysterectomy. The idea of being on synthetic hormones for the rest of my life and losing my fertility scared me. I started to question everything. I came across a video of a detransitioned woman online, and it made me think: if it could happen to her, it could happen to anyone. I briefly identified as non-binary, trying to be a "trans man with an estrogen-based body," but that didn't feel right either.
I realised that my desire to transition was rooted in trauma, internalised misogyny, and a form of escapism. I was trying to escape sexualisation, objectification, and the constraints of being a woman. I also have mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and OCD-like symptoms, and I suspect I have autistic traits linked to my trauma. I now see that my gender dysphoria was a combination of all these issues, not a lifelong condition.
I stopped testosterone cold turkey a month before my 21st birthday. I’ve been off it for over a year and a half now. Detransitioning has been incredibly difficult. The healthcare system has no idea what to do with detransitioners. My GP was clueless; they wanted to transfer me back to a gender clinic even though I kept saying, "I'm a cis woman now." I had to find all my information about stopping HRT on this subreddit.
My body is still recovering. My period took almost a year to return, and it's irregular and painful. My voice is permanently deeper. I have significant hair loss, a wider jawline, and broader shoulders from testosterone. I still struggle with vaginal atrophy and urinary incontinence. I wear wigs and use breast forms to feel more comfortable presenting as a woman. I’m planning on laser hair removal and might consider a breast reconstruction in the future, but I'm scared of more surgery.
Socially, it's hard. People often mistake me for a trans woman because of my deep voice and flat chest. I feel nervous using women's spaces and sometimes stay mute to avoid making others uncomfortable. I'm trying to learn how to be a woman, to explore my femininity and find my style, which feels like learning to socialise all over again.
I have a lot of regrets. I regret not getting proper mental health support before transitioning. I regret the permanent changes to my body. I regret the time and money I wasted. I wish I had known that it's okay to be a gender-nonconforming woman, a masculine woman, without having to change my body. I feel like I was brainwashed by online content that is too easily accessible to minors.
I don't think being transgender isn't real for anyone, but I do believe that for many people, like me, it's a temporary solution to deeper problems. I think there should be much more exploration of mental health, trauma, and other issues before anyone, especially young people, starts medical transition. It should be a last resort, not the first option.
Now, I'm trying to move forward. I'm focusing on my health, my education, and building a life for myself as the woman I am. It's a daily struggle, but I'm learning to practice radical acceptance of the body I have now.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 10 | Started puberty; began experiencing significant body discomfort and hatred of breasts and period. |
| 12 | Discovered concept of transgenderism online. |
| 13 | Came out to myself and my sister as transgender. |
| 15 | Came out publicly at school; faced severe bullying. |
| 16 | Obtained illegal testosterone gel; later started prescribed T injections through an online clinic. Received first gender dysphoria diagnosis. |
| 18 | Received second gender dysphoria diagnosis from NHS; began receiving Nebido injections through NHS. |
| 19 | Underwent top surgery. |
| 20 | Began questioning my transition; briefly identified as non-binary. |
| 21 | Stopped testosterone completely and began detransitioning. |
| 22 | Present day; over 1.5 years off testosterone; continuing to navigate physical and social detransition. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/idkreddituser11:
I’m on my period rn and this is just triggering for some reason. I remember when I started detransitioning I kept saying “I’ll throw a big party when I get my period where I’ll be wearing all red!” But this never happened as the physical and mental aspect of period pains is just unbearable 🤦🏻♀️
I never knew what detransition actually was until I came across a video of a detrans woman on social media. I remember thinking “damn why did she detransed when having a glorious beard, I wouldn’t” then a few months later that video kept repeating in my mind and I started asking myself “if she passed greatly as a man and seems like she had textbook GD then it could happen to anyone, right?”. Around the same time I decided to stop T and become an “estrogen dominant bodied trans man” to save my physical health, then I felt comfortable identifying as an NB for a while as I explore androgyny, until I found resources for detransition (such as this sub) and I realised it’s the right thing to do forward.
Detrans people are almost never mentioned on socials and if they were, they were most likely mentioned for the wrong reasons, and the most popular notion I’ve known about detransitioning is that you will only do it if society wasn’t accepting of you or if you’re gon be in danger due to your trans status. I wish more people would be open to a healthy debate so that more and more be aware of what detransition actually is
I’m happy that you managed to see through it and be realistic and honest about your desire, I hope things are getting better for you!
I think the wake up call was when I started asking myself “would my gender dysphoria go away if I went all the way through my transition?” And the more I did research about trans surgeries the more I was questioning whether this was the right thing to do or not. I was being referred to get a hysterectomy by the time I decided to detrans, it made me think about how I’ll forever have to take HRT for the rest of my life, I didn’t want this. I even explored being a “trans man with estrogen based body” but that didn’t really help either. I wanted to become a real man fully, not what I felt like something in between. I felt lied to and betrayed when I realised that no matter what I did, I’ll never fulfil my goal (or delusion, idk) of becoming a real man, meaning having an XY chromosome and the appropriate functioning body and genitals. So I decided to go back to my natural state and find another way to fight this extreme form of self hatred. It’s hard, but possible and definitely healthier than being on cross sex synthetic hormones in which I also experienced health issues which was not worth it eventually imo.
I literally got a message a few days ago from a trans person (I assume idk) who told me that people and politics hate detrans people because they are TrAnSpHoBiC 🤡
I immediately deleted my story from this sub because apparently I was being transphobic in it, fuck that I cba for any more problems than as it is. I get what you mean about walking on egg shells ffs
I feel sad whenever I see who used to be my trans friends online, esp the ones that were actually beautiful pre T and now they think they look like a man but have unmistakable female traits like smooth forehead, no Adam’s Apple, small hands and big hips etc.. though I can’t say anything to them out of fear they would get upset, although I’m pretty open about HRT risks and related health issues which seemed to be helping some gender questioning followers on my social media. I’m sorry you are going through this, maybe stop being her friend atp, I stopped talking to any trans person I knew because it would be so triggering like what is happening to you 🤷🏻♀️
I know the realisation of never being able to become the opposite sex can be upsetting, though I’d like to emphasise that once you get an orchiectomy you will have to take synthetic hormones for the rest of your life, nevermind the unpleasant side effects that comes with long term use of cross sex hormones.. do you think it’s really worth it? Can you perhaps feminise yourself in healthier ways? Though, at the end of the day, it’s really up to you. Take care ❤️
I think being nonbinary is being gender non conforming with extra steps..
I’d feel more comfortable identifying as nonbinary but this just won’t work in real life because society and everything around it from clothes, expressions, language, etc is gendered either male or female imo
(I’m comfortable being a gnc woman who’s nor masc or fem but a bit of both? Idk still figuring things out)
I was 4 years on T and now I’m a bit over 1 year off. What I’ve noticed to be an issue are these:
- sexual dysfunction got worse
- vaginal atrophy still exist
- urinary incontinence still there
- persistent broad shoulders and thick midsection
- abnormal T level
- developed migraines after stopping T
- developed physical symptoms of PMDD including bloating, muscle and joint aches a week+ before my period
- hair loss has stopped but didn’t improve, I still have major balding issues :/
I was so worried about my T levels going down significantly when I first detransitioned as I initially didn’t want to lose all the masculinisation effects. Though now I really want them all gone, and wish I stopped earlier because even one year later my T is still high.
What has improved though if you’d like to know:
- I suffered from “thick blood” while on T and now it’s back to normal
- my kidney functions are better
- my period is more regular than when pre T, it’s not as long or as heavy
- there is no sign of PCOS or anything wrong with my ovaries and uterus according to scans done earlier
- losing weight is significantly easier (I was the heaviest while on T)
- my vocabulary became better, I used to write a lot pre T but while on T it was so hard to articulate for some reason, but now that’s became easier again.
- my voice has lightened up slightly though it’s hard and uncomfortable to project my voice
Hope this helps in any way, wishing you all the best of luck ❤️
I was thinking about this for a while because most of my comments get downvoted even if it was in other subs even if it was just as simple as a compliment, so I kept deleting them bcz for some reason it makes me feel bad. I thought I was just being paranoid lol (maybe I am)
Ask yourself this: if there is an actual real scientific “evidence” that can explain transgenderism, then why there aren’t a single physical exam or brain scan to diagnose people with GD? Why does it have to be done in a manner of diagnosing mental illness via ‘specialist’ therapists?