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Reddit user /u/imbibitionn's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 14 -> Detransitioned: 18
female
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
body dysmorphia
retransition
puberty discomfort
autistic
eating disorder
took puberty blockers
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account "imbibitionn" appears to be authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments display a consistent, deeply personal, and nuanced narrative of someone who identified as trans, medically transitioned, and then detransitioned. The user describes specific, complex personal experiences (e.g., binding habits, effects of HRT, co-occurring conditions like autism and ADHD) and expresses a clear, evolving ideological perspective that is common among detransitioners. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with someone who has experienced significant personal harm.

About me

I started my transition at 14 because I felt a deep discomfort with my female body and the social expectations of being a girl. I was certain testosterone was the answer, but it only made my mental health worse and led to self-harm and an eating disorder. I now see my dysphoria as a harmful coping mechanism, not a true identity, and I've stopped all medical interventions. I deeply regret the physical damage from years of compulsive binding and the time I lost to this obsession. I'm now learning to accept myself as female and manage my dysphoria as an intrusive thought instead of giving it power.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender started when I was 14. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, specifically with going through female puberty. The thought of having breasts and hips made me feel sick. It wasn't about thinking I was ugly; it was about the femaleness itself. Hearing my high voice or being called "she" felt like a physical attack. I'm also autistic, and I think that played a big part in my difficulty with the social performance expected of girls and women.

I came out as trans and it felt like a huge relief. It gave me what felt like a "good excuse" to reject femininity completely. I started binding my chest almost 24/7, even while sleeping, and it felt amazing to see myself flat. I replaced all my clothes with boys' clothes. I was absolutely certain this was the right path for me. I felt like I had finally found the solution.

When I was able to start puberty blockers, it felt like a weight was lifted, just knowing my body wouldn't change further in a feminine direction. Getting my prescription for testosterone was one of the happiest days of my life; I cried with relief. By any measure, I was "trans enough." But the relief was short-lived. Just two days after starting testosterone, I was in the hospital for self-harm. A few months later, I developed an eating disorder. Every step I took towards transition, which felt good at first, ultimately made my mental health worse.

Looking back, I see now that my dysphoria was a lot like my eating disorder thoughts. I kept thinking that if I just achieved the next thing—a deeper voice, a flatter chest—then I’d be happy. But it was a trap; it was never enough. Binding my chest became an addiction. I bound so tightly and for so long that my ribs are now a strange shape. It took me over a year to wean myself off the binder, and it was terrifying.

My thoughts on gender have completely changed. I now see gender dysphoria as a maladaptive coping mechanism, a form of intrusive thoughts similar to OCD or body dysmorphia. For me, it was tied to internalized issues and a reaction to living in a sexist world. I don't really believe in gender anymore. I realized that no matter how I look or identify, I am female, and I can’t change that. Detransitioning for me wasn't about "going back" to being a woman, but about challenging the dysphoria itself. Instead of giving in to the thoughts, I'm learning to treat them as intrusive thoughts that don't have to control me. Since I've stepped away from the trans identity, my dysphoria has actually lessened significantly.

I do have regrets. I regret the physical damage I did to my body from binding. I feel like I lost years of my life to this obsession, and it stunted me socially and emotionally because I was so afraid of how others saw me. I don't regret exploring my identity, but I regret the medical path I took because it only deepened my problems instead of solving them. The one thing that has truly started to help is radical self-acceptance. Accepting that I will always have some level of dysphoria, and that's okay. Finding communities of gender-critical women has helped, because with them, being called "she" doesn't carry the same oppressive baggage.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
14 First came out as trans, began social transition and binding.
14 Mother suggested I might be autistic, but I rejected the idea at the time.
Around 16 Started puberty blockers.
Around 17 Started testosterone.
17 Hospitalized for self-harm shortly after starting testosterone.
17 Developed an eating disorder.
17-18 Realized I had ADHD and was later diagnosed. Began to accept I might also be autistic.
18 Began the process of detransition, stopping testosterone after about 16 months.
18 Started the long process of stopping compulsive chest binding.

Top Comments by /u/imbibitionn:

18 comments • Posting since February 22, 2019
Reddit user imbibionn (🦎♀️) explains their decision to detransition by comparing gender dysphoria to their eating disorder, describing how the goalposts for satisfaction kept moving.
34 pointsMar 10, 2020
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For me, my dysphoric thoughts are very similar to my eating disordered thoughts. I was so sure that if only my voice was deeper, if only my hips were narrower, if only my legs were hairier, then it would be enough. But every step I took towards transition only made everything worse, because it's never actually enough - I started binding my breasts and then I felt like I needed top surgery, my voice started deepening and it only felt more dysphoric than ever.

One of the reasons I decided to detransition was because I realized that my dysphoric thoughts were so similar to my eating disordered thoughts. One experience eating disordered people have is that they are never satisfied no matter how much weight they lose, and that seemed to be where my experience was heading with medical transition. Believing that I'll be happy if I cut my tits off is just as stupid as believing I'll be happy when I just lose another 10 pounds. It will never be enough.

Reddit user imbibitionn (gender! fuck.) comments on a post about "regg_irl," explaining how the "if you want to be a girl you ARE a girl" rhetoric can act as a "magic solution" that promises socially awkward men they can become their "True Happy Self" through transition.
26 pointsMay 17, 2019
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Peak "if you want to be a girl you ARE a girl". Promising "eggs" that actually they're not socially awkward and ostracised men but "girls" and you can be your True Happy Self if only you accept it and transition- that's exactly the sort of magic solution that would make perfectly normal males want to transition.

Reddit user imbibitionn (gender! fuck.) explains their experience with gender dysphoria, detransition, and the realization that their desire to transition stemmed from a deep discomfort with femaleness, not ugliness. They discuss how being autistic, social pressures, and internalized propaganda influenced their identity, and how medical steps like binding and testosterone initially felt freeing but ultimately led to self-harm, an eating disorder, and physical damage. They conclude that radical self-acceptance and separating gendered ideas from biological sex has been key to their recovery.
20 pointsMay 1, 2019
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I think I get you. I felt like that for a long time. I could never see myself as a woman. The thought of having breasts and hips made (and still sometimes makes) me want to throw up. It wasn't a feeling of ugliness that made me want to transition, it was femaleness. Fat on my hips and thighs, curves, a high voice which I'd sometimes go days without speaking to avoid hearing. Being called "she" felt like getting stabbed in the gut and having the knife twisted around. The fear that boys might look at me in that way, the way they looked at the girls. I never even had a particularly feminine body, I only got barely half way through puberty.

On principle I thought, sure, women can be GNC. But not me, never me. Because I'm not a woman, because even entertaining that thought would ruin at least my day, or give me a panic attack.

I didn't think I had any fantasies about what transition would do. I'm autistic too BTW :) It's very common in both trans & detrans communities (hmm, almost like gender dysphoria is somehow related to difficulty with social performance...) If you had asked me, I would say something very realistic. I'll get hairy and horny. I'll be infertile. My voice will break. It'll be easier to gain muscle but not much will happen unless I work towards it. But hindsight is a lot clearer, and to be frank, you're 16, I'm 17- kids like us don't really have the forwards planning capabilities we feel like we do. And yeah, just saying that won't convince you, but I learned the hard way, after identifying as trans for 4 years without a sliver of doubt, how easy it is to be so confidently dead wrong. Same thing for my dysphoria. I thought it was innate and inevitable, and any questioning of its source would bring into doubt whether I was Really Trans. Only now I've separated myself from that identity have I been able to figure out some causes of my intrusive dysphoric thoughts and begin to address them.

Your environment does influence you. Being a centrist only means the centre relative to others in your society. In anarchist Rojava, for example, an american centrist would be seen as far right. You are not immune to propaganda. None of us are, that's why we're all here, because we believed wholeheartedly in mainstream propaganda and eventually managed to move past it. Question what gender means to you, and don't take "it just is" as an answer. Ceasing to believe in gender, and thus some "male essence" within myself, was an important step for me to be able to step back and start thinking critically, and necessary to work out how to actually treat dysphoria.

I thought I'd tried everything, I did, but I was a dumb kid. I couldn't see any way I could be a woman. I was 14 goddamn years old, of course I couldn't! And honestly, that word is so laden that I still can't use it for myself today. Those of us with dysphoria tend to romanticise the concepts of "man" and "woman" and detaching gendered ideas from sexed words is really important to taking power from your dysphoria (/u/trialeterror wrote a great blog post about this).

I wanted to transition more than anything. I started binding and it felt immediately amazing. I felt free, I didn't feel naked and like everyone was staring at me. I replaced my wardrobe with boys' clothes and cast off the last remnants of femininity. I had a couple of years before I was able to take any medical steps at all. As soon as I started blockers a great weight lifted off my chest and I knew that at least it wouldn't get worse. When I got my prescription for T I cried in relief and could barely believe it, I was so happy. By anyone's measures, I'm trans enough.

Then 2 days after I started T I was in the hospital for self harm. And then a couple months later I developed an eating disorder.

When I started binding, I bound almost 24/7 for 2 years. My ribs are a strange shape. It's taken over a year for me to break the addiction. When I started trying to pass it took over my life. I avoided opportunities and social interactions because I was too afraid of what people might see. I'm socially and emotionally stunted because of this. I bought and threw out clothes over and over because I didn't pass well enough. Every single step I have tried to take has eventually done more harm than good, even though I'm 'truly dysphoric' and it felt good at the beginning.

The one thing that's starting to truly help me is radical self acceptance. I will always have dysphoria, and that's okay. I will never like myself, and that's okay. When I talk with other radical feminist women it doesn't hurt so much to be called "she" because I know with them it doesn't carry so much social baggage. Find strange womyn and be around them. I can't offer much more advice because I'm only at the start of my journey myself. Best of luck, friend :)

Reddit user imbibitionn (gender fuck) comments on the certainty of transition, noting that people are extremely confident before starting hormones, coming out, or having surgery.
20 pointsMar 8, 2019
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Do you think anyone here wasn't "extra extra sure" before they started stabbing needles into their thighs once a week? Before they came out and lost their family? Before going into surgery? People who do these things are pretty confident that they want it.

Reddit user imbibitionn (gender! fuck.) explains their severe dysphoria and detransition, arguing that even those with intense dysphoria can regret transitioning and found relief by treating it as intrusive thoughts.
17 pointsMay 21, 2019
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I had pretty bad dysphoria, social but mostly physical. Dysphoria was always on my mind and affected everything I did from the ground up. I gave up on a lot of things because of it. I wore a binder 24/7 for 2 years, barely showering because I couldn't bear to see my body. Some days I skipped school because I couldn't stand the thought of someone hearing my voice.

I don't want to make any rules about who should "be able" to transition, because I don't see that more gatekeeping is really going to help in any meaningful way. The fact is, even people like me with severe dysphoria, who never questioned their transness, may still eventually detransition.

In hindsight, every step I took towards transition only made everything worse. The only thing that has begun to help has been distancing myself from the trans identity, reframing my dysphoria as a form of intrusive thoughts, and treating it as such.

Reddit user imbibitionn (self-questioning) explains that they believe gender dysphoria is a maladaptive coping mechanism, similar to non-gender-related body dysmorphia, often stemming from internalized misogyny and living in a sexist world.
14 pointsFeb 22, 2019
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I think it's effectively the same thing as non gender-related body dysmorphia. I'm sure with absolutely no social influence there would still be a few cases, but largely I believe it to be a maladaptive coping mechanism that can apply to pretty much anything. Internalised misogyny, sure, or even just an understandable reaction to living in a sexist world where your body is not respected. For females at least, obviously I can't speak as to the male experience, as much as I'd like to.

Reddit user imbibitionn (gender! fuck.) expresses anger and trauma, telling a commenter not to chase detransitioners into their "only spaces" to use them as "pawns" in online discourse.
12 pointsMay 12, 2019
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I’m not chill. Your flavour of shit took years from my life. I’m traumatised and alienated (like many others here) and I am on this sub specifically to get away. So don’t chase us down in our only spaces in the entire fucking world just to claim some pawns in whatever online discourse you’re into.

Reddit user imbibitionn (🦎♀️) explains why gender dysphoria can lessen after detransition, advising a 15-year-old that giving in to dysphoria by transitioning can increase its power.
11 pointsOct 14, 2019
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Hey, I didn't transition quite as young as you but I'm still one of the younger ones on here (just turned 18).

I just wanted to address one thing- you say you are worried about getting horrible dysphoria when you detransition. In my experience, and many others', dysphoria actually lessens. I had severe dysphoria while I identified as trans, and it is now mostly gone. Much like other mental illnesses, if you listen to the dysphoria and do what it says (in this case by transitioning) then that only increases its power over you. That's a huge reason I chose to detransition- I realized that I could never recover from my dysphoria if I continue to let it rule my life, and that transitioning would only provide shallow relief. It might get harder at the beginning because your brain is so entrenched in its habits, but I promise it will get better. Good luck 😊

P.S. I would be very interested to hear about your conversion?

Reddit user imbibitionn (🦎♀️) discusses the need for a detrans-only subreddit to exist alongside r/detrans for those wanting a space exclusively for detrans people, free from non-detrans allies.
9 pointsSep 29, 2019
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I made a similar post a while back about making a sub explicitly for non-detrans allies, so that we could keep this one ourselves, but it seems that there wasn't enough support. I think this would be a good idea, I like this sub but sometimes I get pretty fed up with the opinions of non-detrans people on here. I agree OP, maybe we should start a smaller, more strongly moderated sub that can exist alongside /r/detrans as an option for some of us who just want to be around other detrans people.

Reddit user imbibitionn (gender fuck) comments on the hypocrisy of gender critical perspectives that accept social non-conformity but reject all body modification, arguing that critiques of HRT should be similar to critiques of other cosmetic surgeries.
9 pointsMar 6, 2019
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I figure that if you're truly gender critical, it would be somewhat hypocritical to say that you can be socially gender non-conforming as much as you want, but still be against any sort of sex/gender/dysphoria-related body modification.

Of course with the current trans culture it's certain that there are a lot of people unnecessarily modifying their bodies and doing damage to themselves, but if you're of the GC perspective (rather than trans-identified) I think the criticisms of HRT and the like should be more similar to criticisms of other cosmetic surgeries. A woman can get a nose job and still criticise the the systems that made it feel necessary for her without being a fake feminist, because the pain is still real whether or not there's a 'good' reason for it to exist.