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Reddit user /u/immoral-oyster's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 16 -> Detransitioned: 24
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
porn problem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
autogynephilia (agp)
depression
influenced online
got top surgery
body dysmorphia
retransition
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.

The user's comments demonstrate:

  • A consistent, nuanced, and personal perspective on detransition.
  • First-hand experience (e.g., "i had brain fog on testosterone").
  • A natural writing style with complex ideas and varied sentence structure.
  • Passion and criticism toward trans ideology, which is common and expected in this community.

About me

I was a female teenager who felt like I never fit in, and my deep discomfort with puberty led me to believe I was born in the wrong body. I transitioned to male, influenced by online communities and my own internal struggles, and I even had top surgery. But after all that, I just felt empty because I was running from problems like low self-esteem instead of facing them. I now see I was treating my feelings as commands, and changing my body wasn't the answer to my psychological pain. I've detransitioned and am learning to accept myself, though I deeply regret the permanent changes.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition was messy and complicated, and looking back, I see it was built on a lot of confusion and running away from my problems rather than solving them.

I was born female, and I never felt like I fit in, especially when I was a teenager. I hated my body when I went through puberty. I developed a deep hatred for my breasts and felt incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin. I now see this as a mix of puberty discomfort and body dysmorphia, probably made worse by my low self-esteem and depression at the time. I spent a huge amount of time online, and I was definitely influenced by what I saw in trans communities. I started to believe that all my unhappiness and feelings of being an outsider were because I was born in the wrong body.

I started my transition by identifying as non-binary, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a trans man. I think a big part of my initial push was internalized homophobia; the idea of being a lesbian was scarier to me than being a straight man. I also had a problem with porn, specifically content around femboys and transition, and I believe that wired my brain to connect my sexual arousal with the idea of becoming male. It was a form of escapism.

I went on testosterone. While it gave me a lot of physical energy, I also developed terrible brain fog. It wasn't a simple case of one hormone being better than the other; it felt like a mismatch that my whole system was struggling with. I eventually got top surgery. I saw so much praise for it online, with people talking about how it was the best decision they ever made, often without showing real results. I was caught up in that culture.

But after surgery and being on hormones for a while, I didn't feel the relief I was promised. I just felt... empty. The feelings I was trying to escape were still there. I realized I had been treating my feelings as commands that had to be obeyed. I had to face the fear that led me to transition. I had to understand that the thought "I feel I should have been born male" was just as irrational and destructive as thinking "I feel I should have been born 300 years ago or as a horse." You can't run from yourself forever.

I don't regret my transition in the sense that it was a path I had to walk to get to this understanding. But I do deeply regret the permanent changes to my body, and I am angry at the ideology that told me this was an act of self-love when it was really an act of self-rejection. I benefited from stepping away from trans-affirming therapy and instead just looking at my reactions and my history with a critical eye. Detoxing from trans media and online spaces was the first and most important step for me.

My thoughts on gender now are that it's a social concept that we've medicalized, often to the detriment of people who are just struggling with other issues like trauma, autism, or poor self-image. I don't think changing your body is the answer to a psychological problem.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
13-14 Started puberty, began to intensely hate my developing breasts and feel deep discomfort with my female body.
16 Spent increasing time online, heavily influenced by trans communities and content. Began identifying as non-binary.
17 Shifted to identifying as a trans man. Believes internalized homophobia and porn consumption were significant factors.
19 Started testosterone therapy. Experienced increased physical energy but also significant brain fog.
21 Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy).
23 Began to seriously question my transition, realizing it was a form of escapism that didn't solve my underlying issues.
24 Detransitioned. Stopped testosterone. Began to process my journey and the permanent changes to my body.

Top Comments by /u/immoral-oyster:

5 comments • Posting since May 6, 2025
Reddit user immoral-oyster (detrans female) explains that she knew detransition was right by facing the fear that led her to transition, arguing it is a futile attempt to run from oneself rather than an act of self-love.
17 pointsJun 19, 2025
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personally? by facing the fear that lead me to transition and realizing that all of it was, in fact, futile. you can only run so far away from yourself before you once again encounter yourself, so to speak. more generally, by realizing that feelings are capable of being very destructive. substitute "i feel (for my own comfort) that i should've been born male/ genderless" with "i feel (for my own comfort) that i should've been born in a different country; or to richer parents; or 300 years ago; or perhaps blind, or maybe as a horse" and see if that leads anywhere except insanity. one of the worst parts of trans ideology is that we're told that transition (even "just" a new name and pronouns) is an act of loving and choosing your "true self". but it is, in fact, the opposite.

Reddit user immoral-oyster (detrans female) explains why psychoanalysis, not trans-affirming therapy, would be beneficial for examining one's reactions.
11 pointsMay 6, 2025
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psychoanalysis would be highly beneficial. not trans therapy or any behavior-fixing stuff. but someone looking with you at reactions exactly like the one you are displaying here. (the cheaper alternative to this is books on the same topic, but that would take a lot longer.)

Reddit user immoral-oyster (detrans female) explains that she experienced brain fog on testosterone, theorizing it's due to a hormone/body mismatch rather than the hormones themselves.
10 pointsJun 8, 2025
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i had brain fog on testosterone 🤷‍♀️ and a lot of ftms out there are the way you described about top surgery especially. i think brain fog is less about testosterone does x and estrogen does y, and more about the mismatch between body and hormones. or that's how i make sense of having had a lot of (physical) energy with awful brain fog.

Reddit user immoral-oyster ([Detrans]🦎♀️) explains the need for a detox from trans media and pornography, stating the brain wires itself to what it finds sexually exciting.
9 pointsMay 6, 2025
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i can't contribute much to the conversation on account of being female (crossdressing tends to be less of an issue over here) but i will recommend, like the other person, detoxing from trans media and perhaps social media in general. it's unclear to me whether you still consume trans and femboy pornography or whether that was a one-time thing, but that is DEFINITELY included under the detox recommendation. your brain wires itself according to what you find sexually exciting, that's why the porn overconsumption to trans pipeline even exists in the first place.

apologies if this doesn't apply to you, and all the best either way!

Reddit user immoral-oyster (detrans female) comments on the delusional praise and hugboxing culture surrounding bottom surgery results in trans spaces, criticizing the lack of photos and use of cutesy illustrations in FTM communities.
3 pointsJun 6, 2025
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i don't know, i've seen a lot of delusional praise for bottom surgery in ftm spaces. mostly by people who didn't show pictures or, worse, drew cutesy little illustrations. mtf surgeries i've seen more photos of, and i do have to say, the hugboxing culture was wild. i get that you don't like to shame these people, and i agree that once it's done, it's done.....but people out there are influenced when they read(! without pictures) that one can totally get a designer cooch that's indistinguishable from the real thing, promise, even lesbians and gynecologists can't tell!!!! etc.