This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments display a highly personal, nuanced, and emotionally complex narrative that is consistent with genuine detransition experiences. The user expresses anger, regret, self-reflection, and a specific, believable timeline of events, which is not typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I grew up in a toxic, abusive home where I learned to see femininity as weakness and internalized a lot of homophobia. I started to believe I was a man as a teenager because it felt like an escape from that pain and shame. I medically transitioned very young, but I eventually realized I was just trying to please others and avoid being a gay woman. Now, I've stopped hormones and am working to heal from my trauma and rediscover my true self as a gender non-conforming woman. I'm angry that my underlying issues were never addressed, and I'm slowly learning that being a woman is not weak.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and now detransition has been a lot to process. It all started from a really difficult place. I grew up in a very toxic and abusive household. My dad was violent and verbally abusive, especially towards my mom, and my whole extended family lived together, so it was constant. I was taught that women were weak and that their wants didn't matter. I saw my mom and my grandma constantly walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting the men. On top of that, my family was extremely homophobic, saying horrible things about gay people.
I was always a tomboy. I hated the preppy, ultra-lady-like style my mom tried to force on me. I felt weird and judged for being gender non-conforming. When I hit puberty around 13, I started to feel really uncomfortable with my body developing feminine traits, and bullies at school made it worse. Around that same time, I realized I was bisexual, which just added to the confusion and shame because of my family's beliefs.
I think my mind tried to find a way out of all that pain. I started to believe I was a man in the wrong body. It felt like the perfect solution: I could escape being a "weak" woman, I could avoid being a gay woman, and people would finally accept my masculine traits. It felt freeing at first. I started testosterone when I was 14, after only a few months of talking to a therapist at the clinic. It was way too easy. I got top surgery at 16 after a single, ten-minute conversation with a therapist who gave me the letter I needed.
For a while, I was happy. I was finally "allowed" to be masculine, and the bullying stopped. But eventually, I realized I had just traded one set of chains for another. I was living as a man to please other people—to fit into my family's dynamics and to avoid homophobia. I suppressed all my emotions for years without even realizing it. When I stopped testosterone about three months ago, it was like a floodgate opened, and I had to learn how to feel things again. It's been incredibly hard. The idea of womanhood felt alien to me, and happiness felt foreign.
Working with a good psychologist has helped me understand the root causes. I had internalized the idea that femininity equals weakness because of the violence I saw. I was afraid of men without knowing it. I now see that I just wanted to be a gender non-conforming woman who loves women, without any judgement. I don't envy men anymore. I've been watching women in shows and online and realizing how strong and inspiring they can be, which is the complete opposite of what my family taught me.
I'm 18 now, and my body is permanently changed from testosterone and surgery. I'm angry that the medical process was so quick and that I was assured the changes were reversible when they're not. I don't think transition should be banned for everyone, but for kids, it needs to involve serious, long-term mental health evaluation. I was a classic case of someone transitioning for the wrong reasons, and no one ever dug deep enough to see that.
I don't regret my transition because it led me to where I am now, and I learned so much about myself. But I do regret that I felt I had to change my body to solve problems that were really about trauma and internalized homophobia. I'm trying to learn how to be a woman now, to explore a girly side I never got to, and to understand that femininity isn't weak. It's a slow process, but I believe I can find happiness again.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started feeling uncomfortable with female puberty; realized I was bisexual; began believing I was a man. |
| 14 | Started testosterone (HRT) after only 4-6 months of evaluation. |
| 16 | Underwent top surgery. |
| 18 | Stopped testosterone and began detransitioning. |
Top Comments by /u/insane_taco:
Im so mad at my doctors. I went on T at 14 after 4-6 months. That’s all it took. One shot of T is enough to cause bottom growth.
I got top surgery at 16 despite NEVER speaking to an “actual” therapist. I spoke to one at the clinic for all of 10 mins and I got a letter.
Now I’m 18 and my voice and body are permanently altered.
And what’s funny? Along the way I had some doubts and asked, “why am I on such a low dose (.4 mL),?”.
I was told “that’s in case people your age change their mind, they can reverse the changes. I don’t think it will happen to you though.”
Not anymore. I’m still very recently detransitioning, but after watching a lot of women in shows or YouTube, I’ve realized that I actually don’t envy men anymore. I never realize how women can be inspiring and successful. My entire family tore women down. (And gay people.) I am alright with being a pan/bi woman.
I still pass as male very well, started young and got top surgery. I know the male experience. I appreciate men for who they are, but I don’t envy them or trans men’s successful and happy transition.
hey, I’m sorry you went through all that. You deserved to grow up in a loving environment.
I don’t know what to say, because I also kind of feel fucked. Yet, I believe that this isn’t the end of life and that we can still find happiness in other things.
hugs
As one of those kids who transitioned at a young age, 14, no I don’t think transition should be banned. I do feel like adults should have access to it, and that kids should be even more scrutinized by mental health professionals. It’s an absolute joke how easy it was for me to get on T here in NYC.
I have no doubt that some people would be happier being the opposite sex even with the limitations of SRS.
That being said, there will undoubtedly continue to be medical detransitioners like us. But people have to make their own mistakes. Straight up banning something will just cause people to look for other ways to obtain it.
Take what I say with a grain of salt since I transitioned with HRT at 14.
Make sure you’re not transitioning due to internalized homophobia or fucked up family dynamics.
I was a classic case of, “I’ve felt this way as young as 3 and throughout childhood.” I was adamant that I would NEVER detransition. And here I am. I didn’t realize that I just wanted to be gnc and love women as a woman without judgement. Working with a professional has made me see that these were my primary motivations.
That being said, if you’ve thought it out well, best of luck to you :)
If you take anything from this, contact a psychologist first.
Skip for TL;DR
I was a tomboy my entire childhood, hated anything feminine, had a masculine personality. I also lived with my nuclear family/extended family in one house. (Uncles, cousin, grandparents.)
I was made to understand that my (and my mother’s) wants weren’t valid and that I’d never accomplish anything constantly. Especially tho, that I was “weird” for dressing gnc. Growing up I heard “gays go to hell, they’re gross, they should die… they’re peds”
Also didn’t help that my mom and I lived walking on glass around my father and extended family. He was so violent and ESPECIALLY verbally abusive towards her. I saw and heard so much violence everyday for 16 years. (18 now.) My entire family was also very emotional and manipulative. My grandma was constantly emotional about not upsetting my father or my grandfather.
At 13 I realized I was bisexual due to a best friend . and on my own, thought that I was a man in the wrong body. My body image issues started here too. Middle school bullies made fun of me, on top of family. I felt insecure about my feminine traits that were developing.
[TL;DR starts here] The truth is, I internalized women as weak due to the violence I saw towards the women in my family. I was afraid of men and didn’t know it. My mom basically raises me to protect her. I also internalized the feeling of “never being enough” and now I am a hardcore perfectionist with an “all or nothing” personality. I guess my mind rejected femininity and thought that it would be easier to be a straight man—-justified it due to my naturally masculine traits and attraction. I was happy I could finally be myself, and I did get picked on less. It was easier for everyone to accept that I was a man. I got top surgery and my mom expected me to always protect her/be there for her. Well, 3 months ago I realized I can’t fucking do it anymore. I would have loved to be a regular gnc woman and do teenage things and love women. I wasn’t happy with transition. It was freeing at first and then I realized I traded one set of chains (femininity) for another (masculinity.) Not only that, I changed my body to please other people.
Don’t be scared of what I’m saying though. I am not in a position to encourage or discourage transition because I believe everyone’s experience is different. You know yourself better than I do.
But PLEASE. Be 100% sure. Contact a psychologist and be thoroughly evaluated. Feel free to ask any more questions, and best of luck to you :)
I cant offer words of comfort, but I'm in the exact same situation. 2 months off as well. It's incredibly hard. Womanhood is something so alien. Happiness is so foreign.
After stopping T I realized I suppressed all my emotions before starting T and continued throughout all this time. I didn't even notice. I can't feel things for more than a few seconds if I rarely feel anything at all now.
The point is-- I hear you and it's natural to not know who you are after such a long time. Time is needed to just accept things perhaps. Or just trying to pick up a hobby, maybe. I don't know anything either, but trying to do something different is worth a shot.
I still haven’t been able to really express much of my “girly” side since deciding to detransition, however, I was a tomboy growing up.
My parents never let me express myself the way I wanted tho— they wanted to mold me into my moms preppy and ultra lady-like style. I didn’t like it. However, I’ve been super masculine for so long during my transition, and I’ve now come to accept that femininity does not equal weakness. I internalized anything feminine as weakness due to my family’s fucked up dynamics.
Now I’d just like to try being girly for a change, and I think when I get there— I’ll love it!