This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's story is highly detailed, internally consistent over a four-year period, and reflects the complex, painful, and deeply personal experience of detransition, including specific medical details (insurance battles, surgical procedures, recovery) and psychological processing (grief, anger, coping mechanisms) that are difficult to fabricate convincingly. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the genuine trauma many detransitioners describe.
About me
I started testosterone at 17 after my trauma, believing becoming a man would make me safe and whole. I had top surgery at 18, but trying to live as a man only made my anxiety worse. I realized my pain was rooted in trauma and society's treatment of women, not my body, so I detransitioned at 21. I fought for and got breast reconstruction, which helped me feel whole again. Now, five years later, I’ve built a good life and learned that the most radical thing was to just be a woman, as I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey started when I was a teenager. I was struggling with a lot of deep-seated issues, including trauma from being raped when I was 16. I think a huge part of why I wanted to transition was to escape from being a woman in a world that felt hostile and unsafe. I hated my breasts and felt incredibly uncomfortable with my body, especially after puberty. I thought that if I could just become a man, all of those feelings would go away.
I started testosterone when I was 17. I was so certain it was the right path for me; I felt male to my very core and couldn't imagine a future living as a woman. Just three months after starting T, when I was 18, I had a double mastectomy. I was so young and rushed into everything, thinking it was my only chance to be happy.
I was on testosterone for three years. During that time, I realized my dysphoria wasn't going away. In fact, trying so hard to "pass" as a man was making my anxiety and discomfort worse. I came to understand that my feelings were rooted in trauma, the way women are treated in society, and a deep desire to be seen as a person, not an object. I realized it was more radical and difficult to learn to like myself the way I was than to run away from my problems. So, I decided to stop. I detransitioned when I was 21.
The aftermath was hard. I mourned the loss of my breasts deeply. For almost four years, I was hyper-aware of other women's bodies, feeling a lot of jealousy. I wore breast forms for a couple of years, which helped a bit, but it wasn't the same. I fought with my insurance for over a year to get breast reconstruction covered. Because my initial mastectomy was covered as "medically necessary," I was able to get my reconstruction fully paid for under laws that protect women who have had mastectomies.
I had my reconstruction surgery at 22. The recovery was actually more painful than my mastectomy, but it was worth it. I got silicone implants over the muscle. They’re not perfect—I sometimes joke they’re a solid B-—and I might get a revision someday, but having something on my chest again has helped my confidence. Shopping for clothes is easier and more fun, and I feel more whole. It’s not a magical fix, but it feels like I’ve regained a part of myself.
I’ve been off testosterone for five years now. My voice is in a feminine range, and I’m almost always seen as a woman. I still have to shave daily from the effects of T, and my hair thinned a bit, but I’ve learned to cope. I’m now engaged and have built a good life for myself.
I do have regrets. I regret not understanding the root of my pain sooner. I regret the permanent changes to my body and the loss of my fertility, which I'm still trying to figure out. I place a lot of blame on the medical professionals who encouraged me to transition so quickly after my trauma, though I try to tell myself they thought they were helping. My thoughts on gender now are that you can just be a woman and exist as you are. You don't have to perform femininity. You can just be.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Experienced sexual trauma. |
| 17 | Started testosterone. |
| 18 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 21 | Stopped testosterone and began detransition. |
| 22 | Had breast reconstruction surgery. |
| 26 | Present day, off T for 5 years. |
Top Comments by /u/irefusetoswerve:
As a rape victim, the comparison of assault to mastectomy is actually spot on and I feel the same way. Honestly I had my mastectomy just over a year after being raped by two people and the way therapists, endocrinologists and my surgeon encouraged me to transition it felt like they wish it had been three (each so eager to violate)
Honestly OP you’re probably gonna hate this answer, but I don’t think you can know. I was certain I wouldn’t regret it. I thought I was male to my very core. I couldn’t imagine a life as a woman, and I still detransitioned. I realized my dysphoria would never go away and that I would have to cope with it in healthier ways. Trying to pass made it worse. Actively fighting the things that made me dysphoric (misogyny, trauma) has helped. It’s so much more radical and difficult to like yourself the way you are than to run away from all your problems. The best advice I can hope to give is try to look within yourself and figure out where dysphoria is coming from. Do you want to be seen as a person? Do you feel 2 dimensional as a girl and like you can only have a personality if you’re a boy? Do you want not to be objectified and appreciated for who you are as a person, not as an object? Maybe how you’re feeling stems from the way women are treated in society. I don’t think it’s the case for everyone, but it took me being on T for 3 years to realize it was the case for me.
I’m so sorry to hear you had top surgery so young.. wtf. There are options for laser at home! Though I’m not sure how effective they are. Maybe do some research and see if anything looks good. I got a home laser and I’ve only used it twice so I haven’t seen much change yet. One huge tip though that’s helped me in feeling feminine again has been scent! Really feminine smells like vanilla, or coconut, or fruity. I try to use a scented lotion every day and a hair oil to soften my hair and make it smell nice. It’s more psychological since only the people close to you can smell you but it’s been very affirming for me and I recommend it!
For a lot of us, detransition is just inaction. No longer taking hormones and trying to fit into male stereotypes, and not trying to do the reverse. You can be a woman and just exist as you are. You don’t have to grow out your hair, or shave your legs, or put on makeup. You can just exist
In my opinion there are a few layers to this. One being that you shouldn’t accept the fact that you made a mistake, because you didn’t. You were 14 and couldn’t truly consent. It’s very understandable to feel anger and resentment towards the people who helped you go through with this and told you it was necessary. One thing that has helped me cope with the anger is knowing that these professionals, surgeons, endocrinologists, therapists, probably genuinely thought they were helping you. There’s a chance they were just money hungry and evil like some of the doctors out there, but most likely they really just wanted to improve your life. You also at the time probably thought this was something that would help you, and you can’t fault yourself for doing what you thought would help
Recovery was actually very painful to me, if not painful then very uncomfortable, more so than the mastectomy. I think just having that area stretched out on top of implants was very unpleasant. I got insurance to cover it in full after some fighting! I technically did have growth but that’s just like regular fat from gaining weight lol, I had like an inch+ thick layer of fat for the implants to go under but not enough to look like breast tissue. I haven’t heard of any detrans women getting flap procedures but it’d be cool if you were able to! If you were content with smaller breasts I wonder if fat transfer would be an option too
Hey, there’s no articles or research to link saying this because none exists as far as gender dysphoria. I’m sure people still feel they may have been born with it but there’s no evidence it’s genetic or physiological. If it was we’d all have brain scans or something before we got to transition
Sure! My initial mastectomy was covered by insurance and I think that helped make my case. They literally covered my first op as “medically necessary” and in the US there’s the womens health and breast cancer act which is a federal law saying any insurance that covers mastectomy has to cover reconstruction if the patient chooses it. My insurance argued with me a bit saying they don’t do “sex change reversals” but for mastectomy, it is different legally. It got to the point where WHY I had the mastectomy initially didn’t even matter. I was just a woman seeking recon post mastectomy and that has to be covered
A good way to check if you’re fertile is to track your ovulation. They sell test kits on Amazon. It’s not guaranteed that you’ll be able to conceive if you ovulate but it’s a good first step. You can also talk to your gyno about getting your hormone levels tested, follicle stimulating hormone and anti-mullerian hormone. It’ll give you an idea of your egg count. Losing weight is also a good idea and it seems you’re already invested in that. I’m in almost the exact same boat as you and trying to figure out if I’m having issues bc I was on T, or bc I’m fat, or because of some other issue. Lol
Hey! So I did have implant recon, over the muscle. I had grafts and they didn’t move them, I had the option to but I still have a very small amount of sensation in my right one and I wanted to preserve it so they left them alone. My surgeon was SO sweet and so sympathetic. She said recon for detrans women is a bit different from breast cancer reconstruction bc we have a bit more tissue, so she wasn’t sure exactly how my results would look. I fought with my insurance for like a year and a half to get it covered, it was covered in full! The recovery was actually very painful. My top surgery was nothing compared to this. I think putting an implant under an area that’s already kind of numb and painful and stretching it out is likely why, but it got increasingly better as time passed. It’s helped my confidence significantly. I still have some aesthetic issues and I might seek a revision in the future but I’m decently happy with them. Like they’re a solid B- in my mind, lol. I wouldn’t call it magical the way they’ve improved my life, but it’s definitely nice to have something on my chest again. Shopping for clothes is easier and more fun, having a bit of cleavage is too. It’s almost foreign to me and I’m learning to live with having breasts again