This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user provides a highly detailed, nuanced, and internally consistent personal narrative. The story includes specific, lived experiences (e.g., being on T for 2.5 years, having top surgery, marital details, height, voice changes) and describes a complex emotional journey that evolves over time. The language is natural, with self-reflection, occasional contradictions, and a range of emotions (anger, sadness, hope) that are consistent with a genuine detransitioner's perspective.
About me
I started transitioning at 18 because I was depressed and hated my female body, hoping testosterone and top surgery would fix my deep discomfort. I later realized my struggle wasn't with being female, but with trauma, autism, and the pressure to fit any rigid gender role. I decided to detransition because trying to be male felt like being a liar and I deeply missed the natural connection with other women. While I have no regrets, as transition gave me a body confidence I never had, I am now happily reclaiming my life as a woman. I'm growing my hair out, wearing skirts again, and working on finally accepting myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was severely depressed and really unhappy with my body. I had a lot of trauma and body dysmorphia, partly because of pressure from women in my life, like my mom, who always told me to wear makeup and try harder to be pretty. I felt a massive disconnect from other people and was really uncomfortable with anything sexual, like movies or nudity. I didn't know it was dysphoria at the time, but I hated my chest and my high-pitched voice.
I decided to transition when I was 18. I started taking testosterone and about a year later, I had a total mastectomy because I had always hated my breasts. The testosterone gave me a deeper voice and some other changes. For a while, I felt more confident. I passed as male about 60% of the time, but I worked in a place with a lot of older men, and many of them still just saw me as a girl.
But I didn't detransition just because I didn't pass all the time. The bigger reason was that I always felt out of place. The more I tried to be male, the more disconnected I felt. I realized I didn't understand male spaces and they made me uncomfortable. I started to see how the natural bond women have with each other was something I was losing, and it was immensely isolating. I felt like a liar, and I noticed that women who would have been friends with me before started to recoil from me.
Around the time I was 20, I was diagnosed with autism. That helped me understand a lot of the disconnect I felt from others and from gender expectations. It wasn't that being autistic meant I couldn't be trans, but it made me question why I was so uncomfortable. I realized a lot of it was related to my traumas and my autism.
I started questioning my gender again about a year ago. At first, I thought maybe I was non-binary because I didn't really care what clothes I wore. I thought I might be a masculine woman or a feminine man. But I got tired of all the categorization. I decided to detransition late last year because I didn't want to be trans anymore. I didn't want to be a part of that community or that way of thinking anymore. My mental health was getting worse, and I felt I was actively making it worse by trying to fit into a box that wasn't me.
I have no regrets about my transition. It was a journey I needed. If I hadn't done it, I would have stayed depressed and upset with my body. Taking T and having top surgery gave me a confidence I never had before. I hated my chest, and now I don't. My voice is deeper than it was, and while I wish it was a little higher sometimes, I can actually sing deeply like I always wanted. The most permanent change was bottom growth, but I've actually found a way to be happy with that, too.
Now, I'm detransitioning. I told my husband how I was feeling, and he's been incredibly supportive, even though he met and married me as a guy. I'm growing my hair out—I seriously regret cutting it so short—and I'm starting to wear skirts and more feminine clothes again. I'm trying to be respectful of other women, so I only use all-gender or single bathrooms so I don't make anyone uncomfortable. I'm still in an awkward stage where I look and sound like a boy to some people, but I'm working on feeling like me again.
I think the gender ideology has some cult-like aspects, with rigid rules and an all-or-nothing mindset. I experienced how groups can turn vicious if you think differently. But for me, transitioning helped me learn body confidence and figure out who I am. Now, I just want to be a woman. I want to have female friends, be in female spaces comfortably, and eventually be a mother. I'm still working on my depression and anxiety in therapy, and I'm learning to accept myself. I'm a woman, and I'm finally okay with that.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 19 | Had top surgery (total mastectomy). |
| 20 | Diagnosed with autism. |
| 22 (late last year) | Stopped taking testosterone after 2.5 years; began detransition. |
| 23 (now) | Currently detransitioning, growing out hair, exploring feminine expression. |
Top Comments by /u/jackolantern717:
You wont be able to have kids. Your body is never going to work right again. Completely change how you see sex. You’re more prone to medical issues and you’ll be dependent on hormones for the rest of your life. You will never be the same again.
Hope that helps. I dont want to depress you but honestly i think the only thing you can or should do now is seek out help and frame transitioning as a problem you dont want to do. Otherwise you’ll be stuck in this cycle until something regrettable and irreversible happens.
Nope, never been (of my own free will - i was forced to go to pride parades from ages 8-11 by my mom so she could win the gay vote for state rep) and i dont plan on it. I dont really like big crowds in the first place, but now that i actually understand the difference between being gay and being into BDSM, I’m uncomfortable that people wear that kind of stuff out in public. I mean as a kid, i saw shirtless women with just tape over their nipples, i saw chest harnesses, i saw trans women in full drag, etc. it was uncomfortable and never explained to me, but put right out there in public for anyone to see.
Thats definitely a parenting fail on my parents’ end, but still. Why would you wear a gimp suit or something on the street where kids can see it
I think my sister doesnt like me anymore because of detransition. She was and is a huge advocate for me and other trans and queer people. She thought i was happy as man, and when i told her i actually wasnt, she stopped talking to me and now is uncomfortable around me.
Honestly, anything to do with surgery on that specific area can completely ruin your nerves. You might have some sensation now but after, you’ll have none. Theres a lot of problems with nerves dying in surgery.
For me, i figured out how to masturbate using the skin around the bottom growth (the “foreskin”) and i actually can orgasm more and faster with it than before. I’m very happy with it and its also about an inch long. I honestly dont notice the difference anymore because i dont focus on it anymore. I think you’re focusing too much on it.
I was reading other people’s comments and my only contribution is that this phenomenon is some kind of female version of autogynophillia or related problem, where she feels compelled to put all her femininity through a male lens for like, attention? Validation?
I’m not quite sure but i think its a real compulsion to lie for attention specifically about her gender.
I think all of this model can apply, but its not a cult in the traditional sense as there is no single leader. I think its definitely an indoctrination type thing, and groups turn vicious on someone who is outside/thinks different. I experienced it first hand, but it also applies to the modern leftist/feminist movements as well, so I’m not sure if my experience was tainted by multiple factors/ideologies.
There are definitely rigid rules, rewards/punishments, deception, no outside info, all-or-nothing thinking and stopping-thoughts, and the entire emotional section applies. BUT, i think since its so widespread and not in a single place, it’s hard to exactly specify it as a cult.
I think its a cultish ideology for sure.
I think personally i just realized that yeah i feel more confident with less noticeable female sex characteristics, i still want to be a woman. I like the hair and the clothes and the social aspect of being a woman.
A post a few weeks ago talked about how transgenderism is similar to a cult, and while i dont think its the same as a cult, the indoctrination and rigid belief system are real.
Dont take this personally. People are consistent and knowing you as a man will have a damper on this brand new thing you’ve introduced.
My PARENTS took at least a year to call me he and my chosen name when i first transitioned.
These are people who do not see you consistently or at a personal level, and you’re at work. Some people just go to work and some people dont care about being social at work. Just give it time, and politely correct people if you’re upset about it.
There are options where they can do a reconstruction with a mix of fat/implants and they can do multiple surgeries where you’ll grow the fat back, heal, and then go back in to implant more to your chest. Definitely find a surgeon and get a consultation and see what they think they can do.
I mean we dont really have any long term studies about hrt side effects. Your body wasnt designed to have mass quantities of (if you’re AMAB) estrogen, your body runs on testosterone.
If you’re scared, get a second opinion. Do your own research. Find those studies that do exist (and makes sure they arent biased!!) and make your own conclusions about what is best for you.
If you have heart problems or bone problems, you could die. I would ask you whats more important to you? Living healthy for a long time or living as a woman for an unknown time with possible medical problems/pain?