This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "jadeprairie" appears to be authentic. The user demonstrates a deep, personal, and consistent narrative of their detransition experience, including specific medical, legal, and social challenges. The language is emotionally charged, nuanced, and reflective of a real person's lived experience, not a scripted bot. There are no red flags suggesting inauthenticity.
About me
I started transitioning because I felt like an effeminate man who didn't fit in, and I was told hormones were the answer. After years of medical treatment that led to serious health problems, I discovered my doctor had lied to me about everything. I am now detransitioning, which has cost me my friends and is a legal and medical nightmare to undo. I see now that I was trying to escape being myself, and my body is permanently altered because of it. My only regret is not learning to love myself as I was instead of changing who I am.
My detransition story
My journey into transition started because I never felt like I fit in as a male. I was always more effeminate, but I wasn't gay, and that confusion made me really uncomfortable. I thought my problem was that I was born in the wrong body. I was told by doctors and online communities that transition was the answer, that it would fix my dysphoria and make me happy. There was no gatekeeping; they just affirmed what I said and gave me hormones.
I took hormones for years. It changed my body, and for a while, I thought it was working. People saw me as a woman, and that felt like acceptance. But the doubts were always there in the back of my mind. I never truly believed I could change my sex. The real breaking point came when I had serious health complications from the hormones and surgeries. My body was falling apart. My endocrine system was a mess, and I was dealing with constant physical and mental agony.
When I looked back at my medical records, I found out my doctor had been lying. They lied about our conversations, lied to other doctors about me meeting the standards of care, and even lied about their own background. They were trans themselves and never told me. That’s when everything shattered. I realized I had been led down a path that was based on lies.
I decided to detransition. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I lost almost all my friends. Dealing with insurance to try and get some reversal surgeries, like chest reconstruction, has been a nightmare. They see it as an FTM procedure, not a correction for what was done to me. Legally, changing my name and sex back on all my documents has been a long, expensive, and convoluted process that I’m still not finished with.
I now see that gender is just a set of stereotypes. You can be a feminine man or a masculine woman; you don’t need to change your body to fit a personality. My transition was an attempt to escape my discomfort with being an effeminate man, and it was heavily influenced by internalized homophobia. I thought it would cure the problem of people perceiving me as gay.
I have so many regrets. I regret ever starting hormones. I regret the surgeries. I regret not seeking real therapy to deal with my body issues and self-esteem. Transition didn’t solve my problems; it just gave me new, worse ones. My body is permanently altered, and I will be dealing with the health consequences for the rest of my life. I am now infertile, and my body doesn't function the way it should.
I don’t believe in transgenderism anymore. I think it’s a harmful lie that destroys healthy bodies. I wish I had been encouraged to love myself as I was, to find peace without medical intervention. My advice to anyone questioning is to wait, to talk to a therapist who isn't just going to affirm everything you say, and to understand that your body is not the problem.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
Age | Event |
---|---|
22 | Started questioning my gender identity, influenced by online communities and friends. |
23 | Began taking cross-sex hormones with little to no gatekeeping from medical professionals. |
25 | Underwent surgery as part of my transition. |
28 | Experienced serious health complications from hormones and surgeries, leading to my breaking point. |
29 | Began the process of detransition, including stopping hormones. |
30 | Started the long process of legal detransition (name and sex marker change). |
31 | Continued to seek medical reversal procedures and deal with health insurance. |
Top Comments by /u/jadepraerie:
As the founder of this sub, I try to be laissez faire in my participation here, to encourage individuals' freedom of speech/thought/expression. Also, my post-trans PTSD is easily triggered, so I don't like to immerse myself in these topics.
If you want my opinion, it follows.
No. No one should "transition". Transition isn't real. It's a farce, a lie. It's dangerous and harmful. It's unnecessary. It's a mind game. It's gaslighting. It's eugenics. It's Frankenstein "medicine". It's playing god. It's based on BS research, and real research is stifled as "bigotry". It poisons your endocrine system—which you need to survive into old age. It mutilates your body. It's expensive. It's painful. It hides problems at best. It's treating a mental condition with radical physical intervention. It's based on stereotypes and culture and feelings, all of which constantly shift over time. But your body doesn't shift back. You (I, we, anyone) think you have dysphoria now? Wait til you're trapped in an unnatural and unsustainable form. You think you're dying now? Wait til they add bone scans to the blood draws, prescription supplements to the hormones, weird daily exercise regiments… You think dating is difficult now? Or looking in the mirror, or disrobing in public changing rooms, or even just presenting yourself fully clothed in public streets or daily jobs or annual family functions… You think existence is brain-wrenching and heart-shattering? You've no real idea, until it's too late. And then either transition or detransition consumes your life, your mind, your bank account… Health insurance, life insurance, court decrees, passports, authorizations… Every minute I wrestle between staying the course to an eventual, supposedly impossible healing/restoration—or just ending this idiotic suffering entirely right now. Every minute. This has been my new reality now for more years than the fun or seemingly freeing parts of transition occupied.
And transition is all meaningless. It doesn't change your sex. You don't need to change your sex. Gender is either simply sex, or it's personality/stereotypes/headspace/nonsense. You can wear anything, talk and move in any way, be with whomever you wish—as you are now, as you were born.
Just forget it. Wait it out. Enjoy your life. Enjoy this wondrous world. Enjoy your healthy, functional, whole body. Get a hobby. Travel. Learn. Build. You're in the prime of your life. Extend that, don't foil it. Please. Listen.
That's my opinion, since you asked.
I'm a detrans male. I've met a few more detrans males than detrans females in person. I've chatted anonymously online with more detrans males and many more would-be detrans males (who are afraid to detransition, or who believe detransition is hopeless).
My guess is that we males feel more shame and less community than females do. I personally feel so, at least.
This is another reason why I wish detransition research weren't censored by transition activists.
I personally think:
- Most stories we hear of transition are biased.
- Stories of detransition are censored.
- Detransition (and transition) can start well or poorly, can become good or bad, and can end well or poorly.
- Most people in the general population experience some form of physical or social dysphoria at some point or continually in their lives. Gender is big, but it's not alone. Our bodies age, gain/lose weight, get freckled/pale/wrinkled/scarred, get injured, aren't tall/short enough, fail to feel comfortable in casual/formal/swim attire. Our personalities/mannerisms seem unfit for an office, a family, a bar/pub/club, a partner. And not many people are happy about one, some, or all of these things. And this can manifest as panic, depression, anger, dissociation, etc. But if we can look beyond these worries in the moment, if we can inspect or discuss their sources and purposes constructively over time, if we can focus daily instead on the positive aspects and possibilities in our lives and in the world, we can learn and survive, and eventually we can grow and flourish.
I advise, from my experience, patience. Someday a decade will seem suddenly gone, the world may seem radically different in size and opinions, and your troubles of the day may seem completely changed. I wish you luck and peace.
My general approach to this sub is indeed laissez faire, as I don't comment everywhere in this sub saying "never transition". I made the exception in this post, because it specifically asked.
Nor do I police others' words towards theories in this sub, such as censoring terms like "MtF/cis/transwoman/terf" etc, much as I'd personally prefer never to see such nonsense language. Disparaging language towards others users is not to be permitted, however.
Also please re-read my reasons as to why I answered "no, no one". Most of my given reasons are objective and universal. Though admittedly I'm not writing essays here, I'm just replying on a forum, in case my prose sounds scattered.
My recurring doubts of "transition" were consistently cheer-led away by doctors and community.
My breaking point came after health complications of procedures became too strong to ignore. I then reviewed my medical records and googled my doctor; I discovered my doctor was lying in notes about our interactions, lying to other doctors about my medical history, and lying to me about their own sex (they're trans, and didn't tell me).
I confronted my doctor, and they admitted to the lies as being done for my supposed benefit. That's when the dream broke for me.
I used to trust doctors as experts. My body was thus maimed externally and internally by a god-complexed activist.
I learned the hard way. Google doctors before seeing them. Get second opinions before accepting new drugs or procedures. Check a doctor's notes in your record at least once. Record audio of any suspicious conversations.
I don't see enough distinction between LGB and trans. The former is natural and harmless. The latter is impossible without pernicious and unsustainable medical procedures.
I'm not gay, but I've always seemed so. Homophobia was a big factor in my transition, as a conversion therapy, a cure for effeminacy. I might be bi-curious, but my sexuality has become so medicalized, I don't even feel wholly human.
I wish we'd drop the T. Its relationship to LGB is a superficial equivalence.
I had similar trouble. It delayed and complicated my eventual detransition for years. It played with my mind (gaslighting), it led to further irreversible damage to my body (as the only alternative paths my pro-trans doctors allowed were still further into transition), it led tofurther inaccuracies in my medical record (my questions weren't recorded), and it diminished my legal rights (ran out the clock on statute limitations for some practitioners).
And when I tell people that this happened, most don't want to believe me. Doctors are supposed to be experts and neutral parties. Support of transition is supposed to be virtuous. Either I must be mistaken, or incompetent/unreliable, or I'm an isolated case whose life and well-being don't matter.
I wish, when this was happening to me, that I'd the foresight to stop seeing such doctors, to seek new doctors who listened and understood and respected "first do no harm", to review my doctors' examination notes to confirm they recorded our conversations accurately, and to trust my body and trust in Mother Nature. If I'd never seen a doctor in my life, I'd be a healthier and saner person with a wholly intact body today.
Entitlement, narcissism, spoiled brat… I'd admit for myself, and add headstrong, stubborn, know-it-all, poor listener, magical thinker, social justice warrior… I became many of these things during my college years, including vegan, communist, and—by far, the absolute worst of all—transgender.
I personally wish I'd received more tough love, realistic talk, elder wisdom, perspective on life path, persistent intervention… and less blind support. I didn't realize I was unconditionally loved. Nor did I realize the breadth and depth of physical damage, legal complications, and financial expenses. That's my perspective.
I always doubted that I or anyone was or could ever be actually trans, but I resisted these doubts due to promises from doctors and community. I no longer believe in transgenderism; I've become gender critical and gender abolitionist.
I realized that transition mightn't be best for me (or anyone) when the negative effects became too great to ignore, and when I caught my doctor lying to other doctors and to me (as I replied to the "breaking point" question earlier this week in this sub).
HRT hid, relocated, and postponed my dysphoria. Time, perspective, reflection, and discussion have helped far more.