This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user writes with a consistent, personal, and nuanced perspective, sharing detailed anecdotes from their own life as a desister (e.g., discomfort with puberty, laser hair removal, breast pain). The advice is complex, empathetic, and reflects the passionate but wary stance of someone who has personally grappled with these issues. The language is natural and not repetitive or scripted like a bot.
About me
I started as a teenager who was really uncomfortable with my developing body and wanted to be seen as a boy. I realized my problem wasn't with being female, but with society's narrow expectations for women. I chose to accept my body instead of pursuing medical interventions. Now, at 31, I am fully comfortable and happy being a woman. My biggest regret is getting so deeply involved in online communities that convinced me I needed to change.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a teenager. I was really uncomfortable with my body, especially when my breasts started developing. I hated them and wanted a flat chest. I felt like I’d be more comfortable being seen as a boy. Looking back, I think a lot of that was just normal puberty discomfort that gets amplified when you’re young and everything feels so intense. I also read a lot of stories online and got into certain communities, and that definitely put ideas in my head.
For a while, I genuinely believed I might be trans. I thought that because I had more masculine interests and didn’t feel like a “typical girl,” that must mean I was a boy. I see now how harmful that idea is. You can be a girl and like whatever you want. Liking boy-ish things doesn’t make you a boy.
I’m really glad I never took any hormones or had any surgeries. I saw that path, and I know it’s serious, life-long stuff with permanent consequences. It shortens your life and it’s incredibly expensive. I only ever transitioned socially for a brief period, but even that felt wrong after a while. I realized that my problem wasn’t with being female; it was with the pressure I felt from society about what a woman is supposed to be and how she’s supposed to act.
What helped me the most was making a decision. I realized I had three choices: I could be miserable about my body, I could try to change it through dangerous and expensive surgeries, or I could just accept it. I chose acceptance. It wasn't easy, but I focused on other parts of myself—my hobbies, my interests, my personality. I decided that the way I looked was the least important thing about me. And eventually, I just grew out of that dysphoria. Now, at 31, I love my body. I love my breasts and being a woman. I know that most teens who feel this way do grow out of it.
I don’t have any regrets about transitioning because I didn’t medically transition. My biggest regret is getting so sucked into those online spaces to begin with. I think transitioning is treated like a trend sometimes, like the new emo, but you can't just take off the clothes and wipe away the makeup when you're done with it. The consequences are permanent.
I benefited from stepping away from all that and just living my life. I have a partner now who loves me for me, and that really helps on the days I might not feel my best. My thoughts on gender are simple now: you are born with your body, and you can be whoever you want to be within that body. You don’t need to change your body to fit a stereotype.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13-17 | Experienced significant puberty discomfort and hated my developing breasts. Wanted to be seen as male. |
| 17 | Briefly identified as trans/non-binary and socially transitioned for a short time. |
| Late Teens | Realized my discomfort was societal, not innate. Stopped social transition and began accepting my female body. |
| Early 20s | Focused on self-acceptance and developing other aspects of my life and personality. |
| 31 (Now) | Fully comfortable and happy as a woman. No lingering feelings of dysphoria. |
Top Comments by /u/jath-ibaye:
If you are having doubts, don't do it! It's not something you can undo. Also you started identifying as nb/trans way too early. It's way too common for girls to be uncomfortable with their chest during and immediately after puberty: you go from a flat chest to breast that attract attention, most girls try to hide it for years.
Most girls grow out of the disphoria. Don't do the surgery and wait it out. Try out your old clothes again, explore some feminine things. And please remember that you CAN be a girl and like boy-ish things and dress in boy-ish clothes.
Your first sentence says all you need to know. You are seventeen. When you are seventeen everything feels very black and white and you feel like you have all the answers. You are uncomfortable with your breast because you are a teenager. As a teenager who read a lot of slash I also wanted to have a flat chest and be seen more as a male. Now, at 31, I love my breasts and my female body and I know that my wish to be a man had everything to do with the way society view woman and what it expects from us. But since I’m a adult now I know I don’t have to conform or act a certain way just because I was born female. Transitioning feels like the new emo. Except you can’t just throw the clothes away and wipe off the dark make up. Hormones are surgeries are not a ride in the park like some influencers paint it to be. It’s serious shit, is has life long consequences. It shortens your life and your bank account. I’d never advice anyone on it unless they have a very SEVERE body disphoria and it’s the ONLY option.
The thing that helped me the most when I was a teenager struggling with my body was realizing that this was it: I was born with this body. I had the option of accepting it, doing something to change it, or be miserable. Surgeries are expensive, dangerous and have limited results; being miserable didn’t sound so good, so accepting it was. It’s not easy, but when I realized that the way I looked was the least important thing about myself, things got easier. I focused my time on developing all other aspects of my personality, my hobbies and interests. Eventually I grew out of the dysphoria (spoiler: most trans kids/teens grow out of it) and now I love the way i look (most days at least, and when i don’t i have a amazing partner to remind me why it doesn’t matter)
A couple of years ago most people would not know what a right or a left wing was politically. You just had some values and some things you believed and that was it. Both side have good AND bad things. It doesn’t have to be black and white. And you don’t have to be on a certain side just because you are queer.
There are plenty of people who are leaving the “woke” cult. I’m sure you will find someone to share your life with. On the internet, everything seems very black and white, big and important, but that’s because is quite easy to get stuck into these echo chambers. In real life, most people won’t care about what ppl on the internet are screaming all the time.
You don’t own anyone your affections. It’s perfectly fine to have preferences when it comes to dating. Dating someone you are not attracted to just to be politically correct is not fair to you nor to the other person. Not being attracted to trans people doesn’t make you transphobe or a bigot. People like what they like and that’s life
Honestly? Avoid these online communities that are putting these thoughts in your head. You said it yourself, you were fine before it. There is nothing wrong with playing games as the opposite sex, it's quite common actually. This ideas that if you have feminine interests means you are a girl and if you have masculine interests means you are a boy is quite harmful. You can like whatever you like. Don't go down to this road
It seems like your hair is very dark and thick. This is best kind of hair to have removed. Some will eventually grow back, but you got nice result’s!
I had three laser session my legs (very thick and dark hair too) four years ago and most of the hair hasn’t grow back.
Well, firstly, don’t publish under your real name. Secondly, no book is universal liked. You can’t control what people will get from your story. If people are out to be offended about something, they will find something to be offended about. Just write what you want to write and tell the story you want to tell.
I can do a beta read for you and tell you what I think, if you want me to.
This could be just your body reacting to the female hormones. When I went thru puberty and until my 20s I hardly ever had breast pain. Now, my breasts get REALLY sore every month or so. Our bodies changes and that’s normal. However, if you feel the pain is excessive, listen to your body and look for medical help