This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic persona.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal perspective on gender, transition, and detransition. The user describes their own complex identity (not identifying as a man but continuing testosterone) and discusses intimate details of dating and body image with a level of specificity and emotional reflection that is difficult to fabricate. The arguments presented, such as the critique of gender essentialism, are coherent and developed over time, indicating genuine personal investment rather than scripted talking points. The passion and criticism align with the expected stance of someone who has personally grappled with these issues.
About me
I started taking testosterone because I liked the physical changes, like more muscle and a deeper voice. I never wanted to be a man; I just wanted to be myself and be left alone. Now, my body is ambiguous, and I use that to filter out people who can't accept me for who I am. I'm happy with my body but frustrated by a world that forces people into boxes. I just am who I am, a woman who modified her body to feel more like herself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition is messy and doesn't fit into a simple box. I never really cared about being a man or a woman; it always seemed like other people were far more concerned with that label than I was. All I ever really wanted was to be left alone to live my life, lift heavy weights, and not be hassled.
I started taking testosterone. I don't regret taking it and I don't plan to stop because I like the physical changes it has given me, like more muscle and a deeper voice. But I also don't think of myself as a man. The whole idea of "gender" feels fake to me. I think people should be able to modify their bodies however they see fit with informed consent, without having to commit to a whole identity label. It should be about what practical changes make you feel better, not about having to declare you're a different gender.
A lot of my frustration came from other people's reactions. I've had trans people tell me it's offensive for me to call myself a woman because of how I look and sound now. And I've had other people, who aren't trans, tell me that my appearance makes me a danger to women or that my choices are disgusting or a form of self-harm. It feels like I can't win and no space is really meant for me. I worry that if I try to go back to women's spaces, I'll just cause problems or make people uncomfortable because I don't look like what they expect a woman to look like.
Navigating dating and relationships has been its own challenge. My body is ambiguous now, and I use that as a filter. I'm upfront with new people who might see me naked. I tell them I take steroids that make me more muscular, change my genitals, and make me grow thick body hair. I don't try to hide my arm hair or my stubble. I've learned to spot red flags, like someone who says they "still" find me attractive, as if it's a surprise. Those people are usually fetishists or just rude. The good people are the ones who've been friends first, like gym buddies who've already seen my body and for whom it's not a shock. They ask what I like and aren't scared to learn.
I get really annoyed by articles or ideas that suggest women who like masculine things are only doing it for male approval or because of internalized misogyny. The idea that a woman who genuinely prefers beer, hot wings, and having male friends is somehow "inauthentic" is just another form of gender essentialism. It pushes this idea that to be a real woman, you must be feminine, and that's just as damaging. It can make masculine women feel like they're broken and need to "fix" themselves, sometimes by transitioning when they didn't need to. A woman should be able to be as masculine as she wants and still be a woman.
I don't have regrets about the physical changes from testosterone. I'm happy with my body now. My regret is more about the social system and the pressure to fit into a neat category, whether it's 'man' or 'woman'. I just am who I am.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 26 | Started taking testosterone. I liked the changes it gave me, like more muscle and a deeper voice. |
| 27 | Realized I didn't see myself as a man, but had no plans to stop taking testosterone. I began to identify as just myself, not with a gender label. |
| 28 | Became comfortable with my ambiguous appearance and started using it as a filter in my social and dating life. |
Top Comments by /u/jimgymthrowaway:
I can't tell what the article is trying to say - That any girl who prefers masculine things is only saying she prefers them (Or, thinks that she prefers them) because of internalised misogyny?
"These women are easy to pick on because her attitude towards other women’s interests, mannerisms, lifestyle choices, and hobbies feels inauthentic and is ultimately rooted in misogyny. She has no problem putting other women down to gain male attention and validation, whether or not she knows that’s typically the intent."
The "Feels inauthentic" line really trips me up - Combining the bit about
"The pick me girl doesn’t get to wear what she really wants to wear, like what she really wants to like, and enjoy her preferences without fear she will be rejected by men, "
And the first paragraph; "A “pick me” girl is chill. She claims she gets along with men way better than women. She mocks other women for liking anything that is mainstream or traditionally feminine. She orders wings because she doesn’t eat salads and let’s everyone know about it. She’ll chase those wings down with a beer because she loves beer so much, she “might as well be a guy.” " (Leaving out the bit about femini9sm because that feels like a separate issue)
- This seems to add up to "A girl who thinks that she likes to drink beer and do other things considered masculine, is actually lying - She would always rather be feminine, the only reason for a girl to prefer masculinity to femininity is misogyny".
Which feels sort of gender essentialist in itself - Why shouldn't women be masculine and men be feminine? It's just as legit to think that makeup is a pointless waste of time, as to think that football is a pointless waste of time.
I could understand it if it focused on the stuff about feminism - Women thinking that they have to reject feminism are pretty much always some kind of brainwashed or just unwilling to actually observe the world around them - But liking beer, eating hot wings and having male friends? Eh.
The line of "When a pick me girl constructs her personality around what men want her to be, she is shrinking and limiting her true self. " is absolutely true but... It's just as true when it's about the girl who wears dainty feminine clothes and speaks softly and pretends not to understand cricket, as it is when it's about the one who is "Just one of the lads" (And if anything, most hetero men seem not to want to "pick" a woman who is "one of the lads" anyway- So it's weird that "pick me" has become attached to masculinity.)
I feel like we've got to stay vigilant for when people essentialise "femininity" to "woman" in backhanded ways like this, because that's how you end up with people transitioning who didn't need to in the first place. The girl who really DOES just enjoy being around men more than women, does motorcross, doesn't watch romcoms or eat salad, needs to know that she can still be a girl and doesn't have to be corrected and corralled into enjoying femininity.
Firstly, congratulations on having the confidence to get out there!
I'm complicated on whether I'm trans or detrans (ie, I don't intend to stop taking testosterone, but I also don't think of myself as a man) but I tend to find that having an "ambiguous" body is a good idiot filter. I usually tell new people who are likely to see me naked the truth pretty early on- that I take steroids that mostly just make me more muscular, and also have changed the appearance of my genitals and that make me grow thick body hair. I also don't try to hide the hair or my deep voice - I'll usually gauge someone's interest by wearing a shirt that shows my arm hair (thick, black, continuous over the shoulder) or by having a few days' worth of stubble, and if that doesn't spook them, they usually take the rest in stride too.
Red flags I find are people who will try at that point to neg me- ie, usually to suggest that they are the only person who'd find me attractive, or who say anything that starts with "Surprisingly..." or "I still think you look great". They're usually either tourists or fetishists who are just after the strangest strange they can get (which... Fine for a one night stand, can be fun to feel lusted after, whatever).
Anyone who sounds like they're doing an act of charity will always be an arsehole. Anyone who starts telling me how to better modify my body to be attractive, can get in the bin, because the nitpicking will never end.
Green flags (is that a word?) tends to be people who have been friends first and who have seen a lot of my body before there's a chance of it being sexual (gym buddies, swim buddies, anyone who's worked with me in hot weather so seen me with my shirt off) - then the last bits tend not to be a surprise. People who ask what I actually like and who aren't scared to be shown how to handle a type of genitals that they likely aren't used to. People who don't look away or seem uncomfortable when we're naked together but not actually having sex.
Not an expert on US insurance, but I've known a couple of men get gynaecomastia surgery in the States covered based on it being a detriment to their mental health more so than the physical discomfort. One of them just grew via bad luck, the other two guys had taken anabolics without due care, so developed "true gynaecomastia" (ie, glandular tissue, not just fat), so maybe they're in a similar situation to you?
I can ask the one I'm still in touch with who he went with and how it was processed, if you like?
I think I'm just stressed that if I deliberately try to move "back" into women's spaces without n any way modifying my body or appearance, I'm going to end up causing more problems than I'm worth (I'm immediately thinking of Maya Forstater making the point that people who look like trans men shouldn't be allowed in women-only space, and loads of women agreeing with her).
Thank you! ♥ Yeah it's like... I've never cared at all about being a man or being a woman, but everyone else around me seems to think it's deadly important. And all I want to do is lift heavy and not be hassled by people. But I've had trans people saying that it's offensive that I would call myself a woman, and non trans people saying that how I look makes me a danger to women, or that it's just disgusting and morally wrong and a sign of self-harming. Thank you for your solidarity!
My own view is that, basically, transition should be healthily viewed as a whole collection of separate processes and procedures which can be done by people that feel like they'd benefit from it, and for it to be much easier to get access the parts of it and information about what they mean in a practical sense, without needing to commit to "being trans". Eg, a cis woman who had no interest in "being a man" but who felt dysphoric about her voice could be prescribed T for just long enough for it to break (assuming she had been told about the other irreversible changes likely to come with it, and was willing to deal with the reversible side effects for as long as she was taking it). Currently, at least in the UK she would have to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria, which basically would require calling herself a man, and jumping through assorted rhetoric hoops.
Gender is all fake anyway, so why not let people stretch it around as much as they want. Doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman or whatever, you should be able to modify yourself to look, feel and function however however you need, given your informed consent.