You're not the only one buddy. I remarked this rise of afab 'trans' at the end of my high school years around 2017~2018 (while I was the first student ever to be ftm when I started high school, only did I tell a few people, how ironic).

Am I also the only one shocked by the age they come out as trans too ? I often see 11, 12 or 13 years old and it always baffles me (mostly on passing subreddit) Back when I was 13 there was nobody, really nobody trans around, not even did trans people were known, and that was only 7 years ago for me, not so far in time isn't?

Everyone, of course, have thier share of early teenage crisis. I personally find 13 to be young to even start the emo phase, maybe I was a late bloomer, or cultural differences, I don't know maybe I was spared because I wasn't on social media a lot. But in the recent days it's so much more common to see teenagers going on mental rampage because of social media putting onto them the idea to 'discover' themselve while it's just basically, to my eyes, a way to fuck up your mental health ; the same way a kid is going to start smoking because it's cool but don't realise how harming it is, and how they're creating a dependence to it for life.

Because it's what other people do (and romanticize) on platforms. Teenage years can be wacky rocky. However, I think that there's many thing you shouldn't even consider asking yourself at this age, for instance if you're trans or not. This question should come from the inside and not from some random internet forum you stumbled upon at 3AM that caused you rapid on set dysphoria, because why not ? The majority of kids are like sponges, they like to reiterate what they saw, like adapting the persona of the last tv series you watch.

Not to add that this makes harder and more complicated to see who is in deep distress and needs help if everyone starts acting the same way to seek clouts. Although they all need help, each according to what they're going through.

I'd like to agree on this one. In my personal experience of being trans (while I'm still questioning) puberty was the factor that decided I was trans and not something else; I had doubts beforehand, but I wasn't sure at all and wanted more time. How can someone comprehend they are born in the wrong sex when they don't even know what their secondary sex characteristics are ? When they basically look gender less ? When they not fully grown ?

I think it's extremely hard to diagnose a minor. They are easily influenced, tend to be anxious about growing up (and the process of the body changing and growing during puberty can be one issue for them, ex. Sexualisation of the female body or even anorexia as way to look 'younger'). Adding nowadays issues about teenagers that try look way too mature for thier age, very obsessed with social appearance, media, belonging to a specific group... it doesn't help (I mean, I'm only 20 but when I compare myself at 13 and the 13yo now... wow I find myself rather surprised and sometimes uncomfortable for some cases).

I also think that minor under 10 that already socially transitioned are basically way too young to comprehend what being in the wrong sex, the concept of it, or what growing up to be a full adult is. They often base the fact they're trans on purely social basis; like they like dresses or trucks, unlike thier peers. Usually, in these rare case parents are at fault by encouraging the behaviour instead of letting their kid understand that masculinity/femininity isn't male/female and that appearance is only a detail.

I know kids are quite capable of understanding, I was once one too and I wasn't the stupid kind, but it's maybe because I was one (not so long ago) that I also realised how much we can miss things and jump to conclusion too quickly, and perhaps, not let ourselves the time to think because we desire everything to be done as soon as we ask for it. Looking back, I'm glad I took the time to ask myself the good questions toward my transition and to actually work on problems that weren't related to being trans (but though they were at first)

On another part, I can understand why starting hrt at 16 can be beneficial on social standpoint : to be able to be physically like the people you associate yourself with and be able to smoothly transition into adulthood, not having to deal with unnecessary question from others as an adult. My high school years were quite depressing for me because of that, I knew I wasn't going to be on hrt in time for university and I didn't want people to know nor did I wanted to start a new chapter of my life still pre hrt. Although I seriously should've passed a good time instead of focusing on this back then.

As a French transguy I can say that I'm glad that the professionals in charge of patients with gender identity disorder are usually very vigilant. It always baffles me when I compare how America diagnosis and deliver hrt easily, often just after one appointment, when here psychiatrist and psychologist truly try to grasp every potential issue behind someone gender dysphoria and never force hrt or surgeries. Sadly I don't for how long this seriousness will last before woke-ism lodges itself in the medical work ethics.

I follow up this. I can understand how OP feel when it comes to the whole socio-political climate arount transsexuality, I honestly don't want to hear, see, or talk about it. I've totally cut myself from labels and these apart a few SubReddit (including this one) here and there when I have the time scroll and interact, or to see what's going around through posts (that always makes me sight in despair about the whole situation). It might sound rude as a trans person, but I don't give a damn about all of that "trans this trans that" at this point of my life. I consider myself to have dealt with most of my issues related to dysphoria. I'm just a regular person, I just want to live the most discreetly possible. I don't need to advocate or be a part of that movement.

OP, do what YOU feel is right, do not pressure yourself and your wellbeing just because of an exterior factor. Maybe you're feeling better because you've reached the ending point of your transition ? Isn't the whole point of transitioning (for some) is to drastically reduce your dysphoria? After that you're free to live how you want. Or perhaps you really are being okay with detransionning ? who knows, we can't answer that, it's only up to you. However, trust me, many trans people themselves feel alienated with the nowadays atmosphere/ideology.

I'm not a fan of label either, it's refreshing to see someone with that mindset too. I never related much to being trans of what the majority of trans people felt. I'm neutral toward my body, like you said too, I try to do what I can to be the closest to being male because it feels right to me, but at the end of the day I know I'm not one and I'm fine with that, that is the sad reality. I go with the concept that I'm going to live with this body the rest of my life, it's better to start cherishing it instead of fussing over intangible details like a perfectionist would. I know there are things I will always feel bothered and perhaps depressed about, but making peace with it is a part of growing up, in order to live in tranquility. Best of luck to you too !

It's think it's rather nice to see a post like this. I'm on the same boat as you buddy, I've become really accepting with my condition as a transman, my dysphoria and being a bio female. I personally plan to stop hrt after getting partial hysterectomy, as I realized I don't want to live my life dependent and enslaved to a medication since it brings me a lot of dread, as someone's who likes to live with the less problems I can (I plan on going back and forth abroad too, hrt acces is something that worries me), I think it's a luxury to be able to live without this.

I'm only 1 year and a few months this on t + post op top surgery, and it allowed to grow and mature a lot as a person ; I'm happy with the changes t brought to me (I love my voice now and how little bit fuzzy I became) but I know hrt limits. I'm fine with the reversible effect of t going away. I did get muscles but fat redistribution isn't really present and my body is already relatively thin & masculine looking enough for me to bring me a sens closure (and perhaps I realized how t didn't change much my body a si hoped apart from a few details). I also feel like the more will stay on the more changes I could get and less happy I'll be after stopping it, although I'm grateful with all the thing t brought me, really. Nonetheless, if I ever feel like I need to continue living on t, I know I can.

I don't like calling myself a transman to be honest, I'm just living as myself and always have been, my sex doesn't matter outside of the bedroom & the medical field. I never really mentioned I was trans to people and my social transition did itself smoothly. I know who I am, and I never cared much about how people perceived me (sure it's nice to be seen as a male by others, but I know that my androgyny will always confuse people a bit hrt or not, what's matter is how I perceive and feel toward myself).

I wish and support all trans and detrans people to find closure too !

In my experience I don't think it's good to focus on trans this trans that. You can always present masculine, change your name, workout to achieve a more masculine physique. You can still be a female, totally look masculine, act yourself, and even be viewed as a man if you pass enough, who knows. There isn't a right way to be a woman and being GNC doesn't mean you're trans nor should it be correlated to it.

Scrolling down the comment, you seem to still be young since you can't have access to a therapist because of your parents. I was in a similar situation, best advice: don't rush yourself, take your time, think about something else than being trans because there is no rush and the best things to do is to safely experiment, you have TIME in front of yourself, do not waste it by overthinking negatively. There is no shame in changing your mind, and going forth and back when you are in a period oof your life where you can do it. Don't suppress your feeling (it will only make them worse), instead ask yourself why you feel that way ? Is there is something else laying behind those thoughts ? What if I try doing this instead of that ? Etc...

I took hrt and and got top surgery to treat my dysphoria as an adult (19), and I'm satisfied with the results it brought me, I knew what I was going to get, the potential risks and knew what I wanted exactly. But these choices were very well thought before I made the decision to do them. And, even after starting hrt I matured a lot in my thinking and realized many thing along the way. For instance, not wanting to continue hrt on the long run for health and personal reasons (still taking it rn) but still socially transitioning. I often consider I'm not trans : I'm me, turns out being trans is only a minor details.

On a last note, I might sound like a parent nagging and repeating themself but... you have time and you should make it worth it. I was quite focused on suppressing my feeling during my late teens (because I couldn't acces support) and it did me no good, after a while I realized I should've just live without worrying too much about every details and just wait for the opportunity to come. Not everyone has the chance to have their food served on a golden plate. When it will be possible and if you still consider transitioning, please have chat with a therapist and see if what you want to do is really right for you. Right now, the best you can do is to just let the time flow and discover new aspect of yourself.

I honestly, with all my being, do not understand the essence of the word queer. I'm not an native English speaker so for me queer is a slur, if you look at its original meaning it's word to describe something 'wierd' or strange that meet a lot when I read old books), then it became an umbrella term that englobes many other words. Queer means you can be gay, lesbian, bi etc... but it stays a very vague word and in the end it doesn't have a real meaning behind it to my eyes. It's like someone calling themselves 'genderqueer', i can't tell what they are, i just know they might be in the lgbt community. Same as punk defines a group of people that can be very diverse depending on the style/movement they are in, same as metal, etc... it's a label, not a source of help that should be put in a health line, because has nothing to do with health.

Edit: never went to egg irl, never will. Don't want to see, I've already heard enough to know how much of a nutshell it is.

I don't necessarily totally agree with the TERF mindset but actually find thier opinions to be very pertinent and more adapted to the issues and struggles people face nowadays toward gender. I've always been gender critical and rational toward my transition so I like to find a reasoning that I can finally relate too. I recently started seeing rad fem interesting post on tumblr calling out stuff in my recommendation feed (while looking a frogs photos... strange 🤔), although I'm not a fan about the fact they tend to be transphobic or misandrist. Of course, I know it's not always the case a.d that this image tends to be a generalization, my irl rad fem friends are really open and are always the one I find the more interesting to debate with since we agree on many views.

I wish more people questioning their gender would look at gender critical reasoning because I find it to address transgenderism and internalized misogyny pretty well.

Sorry you had that experience. If your former friend felt attacked, perhaps he should be the one questioning his identity : truth often angers, like people say. Hope you ditched him and TikTok. I've never had TikTok but all the people that had it I knew always felt insecure because of it, a real nest of bad influence for mental health.

Focus on yourself OP, someone's angry insecure public opinion shouldn't matter. And if people believe him instead of you, then they're truly blind and backed toward other experiences. At last, don't shut yourself and silence your experience, it's not about losing or winning. You're free to talk about it or not, if people find out about it and are being rude, so can you (by making then understand that their attitudes are degrading, if they don't care then ignore them, better left alone than bothered, not worth the 'fight').

Also I don't know how much time you spent on HRT but I'm sure your body can change. Also women can be masculine, have deep voice, be hairy, etc... there no agenda to be a woman.