This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user's perspective is consistent with a desister or a concerned individual, and their repeated, specific reference to professional consequences in their job with children demonstrates a personal, lived experience. The passion and frustration expressed are consistent with the genuine viewpoints found in that community.
About me
I'm a female who started hating my body during puberty, and I found a community online that told me that meant I was trans. I took testosterone and had surgery because I thought it would fix my depression and anxiety. I realized too late that my real issues were autism and trauma, which I never addressed. Now I live with permanent changes to my body and deep regret. I was failed by a system that never asked me why I wanted to escape being female in the first place.
My detransition story
My journey into and out of transition is complicated, and it’s taken me a long time to understand all the pieces. For me, it wasn't a simple case of being born in the wrong body. It was a perfect storm of other issues that got misdiagnosed as gender dysphoria.
I was deeply uncomfortable with my body when I hit puberty. I’m female, and I hated the development of my breasts. I felt like my body was betraying me and I just wanted it to stop. At the same time, I was really struggling with depression and severe anxiety. I had very low self-esteem and felt completely disconnected from the person I saw in the mirror. I now understand that a lot of this was related to being autistic, though I wasn’t diagnosed until much later. The social confusion and sensory issues that came with being a teenage girl felt overwhelming.
I found a lot of comfort online, but that comfort became a trap. I spent a huge amount of time in trans communities where everyone was so sure of themselves. They had all the answers. They said if you hate your breasts, you’re probably trans. If you feel disconnected, that’s dysphoria. If you don’t fit in with other girls, it’s because you’re not one. It felt like I had finally found an explanation for all my pain, and a clear path to fix it: transition. I was heavily influenced by what I read online; it gave me a new identity to adopt.
I started socially transitioning as non-binary first. It felt like a less scary step. People started using they/them pronouns for me, and it felt good to shed the expectations that came with being a woman. But that feeling didn’t last. The underlying depression and anxiety were still there, and now there was a new pressure to move forward medically to “be my true self.” I was convinced that testosterone and top surgery were the next logical steps to finally feeling comfortable.
I took testosterone for a year and a half. I got top surgery. For a little while, I felt a rush of relief. I had done it. I had changed my body. But the high didn't last. The deeper issues—the autism, the depression, the history of trauma—were all still there, completely unaddressed. I had just given them a different name. I started to realize I had made a huge mistake. I had been so focused on escaping my female body that I never stopped to ask why I wanted to escape it in the first place.
I began to detransition. Stopping testosterone was scary. Looking at my surgically altered chest every day became a source of immense regret and grief. I am now infertile because of the hormones, a fact that hits me hard sometimes. I have serious health complications from the surgery that I have to manage. My body is permanently changed in ways I can never take back.
My thoughts on gender now are that it became a catch-all solution for a bunch of problems that had nothing to do with gender identity. For me, it was a way to escape from myself. I benefited enormously from non-affirming therapy after my detransition, where a therapist finally helped me untangle the autism, the body issues, and the trauma without just telling me to change my body. That therapy was what I needed all along.
I absolutely have regrets about my transition. I regret not looking deeper. I regret that not a single professional I saw ever questioned me or tried to explore the root causes of my distress. They just affirmed me and wrote the letters for hormones and surgery. I regret the permanent changes I made to my body. I feel like I was failed by a system that is too scared to ask hard questions.
Age | Year | Event |
---|---|---|
13 | 2010 | Started puberty, began to intensely hate my developing breasts. |
15 | 2012 | Severe depression and anxiety began. Felt completely disconnected from my body and other girls. |
17 | 2014 | Found online trans communities. Heavily influenced by what I read. Felt I had found an answer. |
18 | 2015 | Socially transitioned to non-binary, began using they/them pronouns. |
19 | 2016 | Started testosterone therapy. |
20 | 2017 | Underwent double mastectomy (top surgery). |
21 | 2018 | Realized I had made a mistake. Underlying issues were still present. Stopped testosterone. |
22 | 2019 | Officially began detransition. Diagnosed with autism. Started non-affirming therapy to address root causes. |
Top Comments by /u/juanita_d:
They were only seeing you for 8 months?! That was like the tip of the iceberg for my work with my therapist (I'm not trans, I just mean in processing stuff). I know it's different for everyone, but when it comes to something this serious, especially at that age, that's super fucked up.
I think it could be beneficial to prove the point that it's not just one or two people who have bad outcomes. It is false and dangerous for people who have SRS to say that it's just like a real vagina and even doctor's can't tell the difference. That sub was a way for people to see multiple real results. Not to be rude, but when you go online to shop for something do you feel better about it when it has multiple reviews? When people include pictures? Etc.
Now, there were people there who were cruel and that's obviously unhelpful. But the more examples the better imo.
If parents or doctors try to stop children from doing this they can have their kids taken away, or lose their job. I work with children and if I dared to show anything other than 100% support for one who told me they were trans I would face serious consequences.
I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I want to address something that comes up a lot, why do we let people do this? I work with children and if one of them came to me and said they were trans I'd have to accept it. I can't even think of exploring it with them, or suggesting that maybe they aren't, or talk about biology etc. I would lose my job. Doctors, psychologists, social workers, teachers, and parents have to accept it or risk their livelihood, or losing their kids. You are an important part of creating change that will help people realize the danger of transing children!
This is what strikes me every time I read a story of someone saying they were failed by doctor's, mental health professionals etc. What are they supposed to do? In my profession I would lose my job instantly if I do anything other than validate and encourage anyone who claims to be trans. Anyone who goes against the grain is called a transphobe, attacked, cancelled, and accused of literal violence and the suicide of trans people.
If you dislike your body have you tried less extreme measures to change it? What about working out? (Which also helps with depression, self confidence etc.) You can shave your head completely, that's taking control of your hairline and is something a lot of people do. Liking women's clothing and dresses isn't a good reason to transition. Realistically, what makes you think that you'll be the woman you want to look like when you don't like the person you currently are? I admittedly am not trans but I feel like you should make more of an effort to address underlying issues that comes from zero perspective of wanting to transition.